Lisa
Mentor
Registered: Aug 01, 2007
Posts: 610
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| | May 15, 2008 at 02:48 PM | Reply with quote | |
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Colleen,
Welcome to the site. There are many wise and experience parents here and we've all been where you are. I'm sorry you and your family are going through this, it's a horrible illness. You are asking fabulous questions. I'll answer them based on my experience and I'm sure more experienced parents will chime in soon. First, nothing happens in life unless your d eats. That means no school, no reading, no tv, no socializing. This isn't punishment, but for her safety. If your d doesn't have the nutrition she needs to function, then she shouldn't be active. I like the counselor who said three meals and three snacks a day. That's what she needs right now. Second, we used the magic plate. We prepared the meals and snacks and served it to our d (16 yo). She had to eat everything we gave her or life stops. Some parents have sat at the table for hours waiting for their children to eat. Life stops until they eat. The magic plate takes all choice away from the child. A person with an will choose low cal, low nutrition food. They need a certain amount of calories a day. Having a choice often causes a lot of anxiety and taking away the choice is a relief (not that they say that right away). If your d had cancer, you wouldn't ask her if she wanted chemotherapy. You'd give it to her, even if she protested. Food is your d's medicine and she needs it frequently. Also, don't discuss calories with her. She doesn't need to know or think about that. You will make sure she has enough nutrition (check out the pinned threads on high cal foods). Third, be careful of counselors and nutritionists. Look for a counselor who'll support your refeeding your d, not tell you that she has to want to eat. The nature of the illness is that they can't choose. Skip anyone who wants to delve into family dynamics or find the 'deep' reasons why your d developed an. She developed it because she has a genetic predisposition to an ed. Most people find that individual counseling for the child doesn't help until they've been weight restored for a few months. Before that their brains are too affected by starvation. Plus, many children recover without counseling. As for nutritionists, we found them useless, though others have used them. Since we took over feeding our d, she didn't need to learn about nutrition. We were preparing and presenting her with the food. As for a doctor, it sounds like you need good medical care and support. You want someone who understands eds. On the Feast web site there's a list of providers. It's a good place to begin. If Seattle children's hospital's ed program won't see her, can they recommend someone who is skilled.
If you read past threads, you'll learn a lot. I hope I helped.
This is a terrible illness, but you can help your d beat it. The panic your feeling is natural. You'll feel better having a plan of action.
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