Registered: 1503822015 Posts: 44
Reply with quote #76
I just don't know want to think anymore, my mind is going in circles! I also can't quite believe that she was so bad at the beginning of the week and then had an epiphany and, boom, she's fine. Guess there's not much we can do for now anyhow other than continue to encourage her to eat and wait for the appointment at the ED clinic to come through.
Registered: 1503822015 Posts: 44
Reply with quote #77
She won't eat "unhealthy" food yet
Registered: 1284535839 Posts: 3,591
Reply with quote #78
Is she gaining weight yet? My D would get herself into a zone where she could eat with no resistance if she felt she was not gaining weight. The minute she perceived a bigger serve, some oil or something else that would increase her intake there was the resistance. The good part for me was, if she wasn't resisting I knew I needed to feed her more.
__________________ D diagnosed restrictive AN June 2010 age 13.5. Weight restored July 2012. Relapse and now clawing our way back. Treatment: multiple hospitalisations and individual and family therapy.
Registered: 1496061527 Posts: 1,123
Reply with quote #79
so there you got an idea how to test wether she is pretending to be fine or really is: if she is eating chocolate and cake and burgers without stress, anxiety and restriction she is fine. If not, ED is hiding right now and waiting for a hole to get through your net. So I personally think she is trying to be compliant to keep you think she is better and then go on restricting. ED is very tricky. If she is gaining weight, just wait and see and be prepared. Try to add some "forbidden" food... All our minds are going in circles now and then . Calm down and take a breath. You do not need to know what she is thinking right now, and wether ED is gone or hiding, you know what to do: keep her eating and gaining weight and try to make her eat what every normal teenager at her age would eat and what she ate before that. If that is possible plan a party... Tina72
Registered: 1503767103 Posts: 3
Reply with quote #80
I am a great believer in following your intuition. I also believe that the sooner out kids get professional help the better. With my D, I listened when her pediatrician told me to buy her some ensure and come back in 3 months. I wished I had listened to my gut and put her in therapy right away.
Just the fact that you are on this website tells me she needs treatment.
Registered: 1435435970 Posts: 365
Reply with quote #81
There is a kind of "ED-informed" intuition that I agree is worth following. But I would be concerned about advising newbie parents to follow their intuition with this horrible illness, because so much about it is COUNTER-INTUITIVE and I had to inform and educate and retrain myself to develop "ED-intuition".
Like it would be normal intuition to yield to a child in extreme distress, whereas with ED the parents need to bear the distress to require full nutritional rehabilitation. Or it would be normal intuition to think that there must be 'underlying causes', because what kind of organic brain disorder would make someone not eat? Or it would be normal intuition to follow a trusted pediatrician's advice...except that pediatrician might be old-school and wrongheaded about ED treatment. So yes, intuition--but an intuition that is developed in accord with evidence-based treatment and best of all some real reading and learning with people who have had success.
Registered: 1450168170 Posts: 985
Reply with quote #82
Good point EC Mom
__________________ 2015 12yo son restricting but no body image issues, no fat phobia; lost weight IP! Oct 2015 home, stable but no progress. Medical hosp to kick start recovery Feb 2016. Slowly and cautiously gaining weight at home and seeing signs of our real kid. May 2017 Hovering around WR. Mood great, mostly. Building up hour by hour at school after 18 months at home. Summer 2017 Happy, first trip away in years, tons of variety in food, stepping back into social life. Sept 2017, back to school full time for the first time in 2 years. Happy and relaxed, just usual non ED hassles.
Swedish proverb: Love me when I least deserve it because that's when I need it most. We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence Recovery, then, is not an act but a habit. Aristotle. If the plan doesn't work, change the plan but never the goal. (but don't give up on the plan too soon, maybe it just needs a tweak or a bit more time and determination ) We cannot control the wind but we can direct the sail.