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Posts: 55
Reply with quote  #26 
Melstev - thank you, it's so helpful to have an outlet to talk about this on. 
The good news is, she's eaten a little bit more today. Definitely closer to the 800 calorie mark. Not good, but I'm trying to see the positives (if there are any). She is drinking - she's addicted to diet coke and has been for years, she has at least 1.5 litres of that a day. 
She is grateful to be here, she knows I'm trying for her but she has just given up on life. She is relieved to be away from uni - she's been under so much stress and I don't think she can cope with it. I'm not sure if she'll be able to stay there much longer. If her health gets worse then she definitely won't.
I'm praying for the NHS to be able to intervene before things get even worse. I will keep nagging them until they do, even if it falls on deaf ears.  

Posts: 976
Reply with quote  #27 
Hi moonshine,

I just wanted to let you know that I really respect what you are doing in supporting your stepsister as much as you can but also for recognising your responsibilities to your self and your own family. It is a very difficult situation and you are walking that fine line really well.

Warm wishes,


2015 12yo son restricting but no body image issues, no fat phobia; lost weight IP! Oct 2015 home, stable but no progress. Medical hosp to kick start recovery Feb 2016. Slowly and cautiously gaining weight at home and seeing signs of our real kid.

May 2017 Hovering around WR. Mood great, mostly. Building up hour by hour at school after 18 months at home. Summer 2017 Happy, first trip away in years, tons of variety in food, stepping back into social life. Sept 2017, back to school full time for the first time in 2 years. Happy and relaxed, just usual non ED hassles. 

  • Swedish proverb: Love me when I least deserve it because that's when I need it most.
  • We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence Recovery, then, is not an act but a habit. Aristotle.
  • If the plan doesn't work, change the plan but never the goal. (but don't give up on the plan too soon, maybe it just needs a tweak or a bit more time and determination [wink] )
  • We cannot control the wind but we can direct the sail.

Posts: 2,667
Reply with quote  #28 
Hi Moonshine,

Great that she has eaten around 800 calories instead of 500.  

Given the limitations you are experiencing - I suggest that you worry less about variety and focus on making increases.  If she has managed 800 calories, you can maybe get an extra 200 calories in two days later, and build up like that.

I assume as she is eating so little, she does not have a three meal three snack structure.  If you try and get this in place - this is how she would be treated in hospital - then you can add small amounts at various points in the meal plan.  She may be willing to sit down and work out a meal plan with you - my own d and I had a lot of success using this formula.  Make a table of seven days, six boxes and fill it with whatever she is willing to eat - then you can do the negotiating before she eats and there is less stress around.  Keep telling her that it is better for her to cooperate with you then be alone in hospital.  Tell her that food is her medicine and that she has to trust you.

Don't worry about getting her to eat what you are making for the family right now - although encourage her to eat with you as a family and share something, even it is only vegetables.  You are trying to get her eating normalised in terms of what and how much she eats, but also in eating with others.  She will find it stressful - but tell her that she needs to think of your family and join in with you over the next couple of weeks as best she can.  

I know you will be hugely busy with Xmas preparations, but if you can find the time to do this with your sister - you may find it works.  You don't want arguments, you need cooperation and if you give her the confidence and show her that you know what you are doing, she may well be willing to cooperate if it keeps her out of hospital.  

Great news with the drinking - my d was addicted to diet coke when she was at her sickest too.  Very normal for ed patients I believe.

Believe you can and you're halfway there.
Theodore Roosevelt.

Posts: 1,043
Reply with quote  #29 
Hi moonshine,
great that you got a bit more into her.
My d had that diet coke addiction, too. Does she use the same bottles as you use and drink out of a already opened bottle?
I ask that because you might have the opportunity to change the content? Fill normal coke in it??? Secretly, for sure.
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