Registered: 1449955305 Posts: 311
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D is in Phase 2 and doing well. She smiles and laughs. We are able to enjoy each other. She is taking the initiative and pursuing activities she enjoys. A fragile peace and happiness are tentatively creeping back into our home.
But there are still fear foods to contend with. I unwittingly stumbled onto one tonight by serving it with dinner. And ED roared back . . . It was short-lived and we handled it better than before and so did D. But I HATE IT HATE IT HATE IT HATE IT. It still takes a toll on all 4 of us. I know we have to confront the fear foods. But can I tell you how much I DON'T WANT TO???? Those of you who've been there, or are there, how did you do it? How did you confront fear foods? One a week? Did you tell your D/S that it was coming? Did you give D/S a choice of which to confront? Did you go back to LSYE if he/she balked? Thanks for sharing.
Registered: 1452437794 Posts: 1,318
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Well done on all the progress. I get you about the fear foods. My strategy was to say nothing and just plate it, in the early stages, when he constantly asked what was for dinner with the horror look on his face, I just said I wasn't sure and then plated up what ever needed to be served. This worked for me, but may not work for everybody. I would serve a big fear food about every 3 days. As things got better, I would offer a choice between 2 fear foods, and which ever one he did not choose, then that would be a choice between that one, and an even more difficult choice. I found that really worked for me. I never backed down when he asked for something different. I would sit with him until every crumb was gone. UUGGHH, I KNOW HOW HARD IT IS. It will get easier. As his bmi is going up he is much more flexible, and rational. Keep going!!! __________________ Son,DX with AN, (purging type) age 13 in October 2015 , (4 months immediate inpatient) , Now Phase 2 , making progress every day. Living life to the full like a normal teen. We are not out of the woods yet, but we can see the light at the end of the tunnel, thanks to ATDT.
Registered: 1452125195 Posts: 256
Reply with quote #3
I found what worked for my d was telling her ahead of time that the fear food was coming. Sometimes I found it easier to face a fear food at a restaurant instead of at home. I'd say "we are going out for burgers tonight, do you remember how much you enjoyed them? Are you feeling ready to face that fear? What can we do to help you feel ready?"
I didn't have a schedule but I found that once we were in the groove I tried to capitalized on that momentum and went as fast as possible through them. I also celebrated when she accomplished each one. Nothing too elaborate, more like a recognition of her bravery in being able to talk back to the internal voice and enjoy what she really wanted, how normal it must have felt to have that burger, etc. Good luck! __________________ ed_newbie "Lineage, personality and environment may shape you, but they do not define your full potential." Mollie Marti 14 yr old d diagnosed with AN late December 2015 at the age of 12 after a 23 lb weight loss during prior 3 months. Started FBT/Maudsley at home on Christmas Eve with support from amazing local nutritionist specializing in ED and trained in FBT. WR Feb 2016 and now chasing growth and taking one meal at a time.
Registered: 1489849988 Posts: 2
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What a timely post. I am very new here, diagnosis 5 weeks ago. My 12 YO D has been home a week after 4 weeks IP. We thought we were moving along swimmingly then introduced a scary food at snack last night, ice cream. The ED came out full force after the snack and the rant lasted for hours. The only difference was in my response, now knowing that I am dealing with a disease and not my beautiful D. It was still very very difficult and left her silent and angry in bed.
Our T suggested introducing these scary foods now, early in the process and offered to be there for this introduction if we felt we needed support. I may indeed need support. Lots! We are preparing to send our D back to school next week and are wondering if this is too early considering how strong her ED voice remains.
Registered: 1284535839 Posts: 2,786
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Welcome moonlove. There is no easy or right way to do this. Yes feared foods do need to come back into the diet, but the amount and the pace varies for most as there is a wide variety of presentations and illness, along with degrees of resistance. I think we all hate poking the beast, but it does have to be done.
__________________ D diagnosed restrictive AN June 2010 age 13.5. Weight restored July 2012. Relapse and now clawing our way back. Treatment: multiple hospitalisations and individual and family therapy.