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toothfairy

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Reply with quote  #1126 
Sotired,
I hope you get time for you.

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Son,DX with AN, (purging type) age 13 in October 2015 ,  (4 months immediate inpatient) , Then FBT at home since.and making progress every day. He is now in good recovery, and Living life to the full like a normal teen. We are not completely out of the woods yet, but we can see the light at the end of the tunnel, thanks to ATDT. Hoping to get him into full recovery and remission one day at a time.
Torie

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Reply with quote  #1127 
Sotired - Just returned home to read your update.  What a scare for you!  I'm so glad your d made it through OK.  Thinking of you ... hoping against hope you have a chance to rest up a bit before your surgery.  Love,

Torie

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"We are angels of hope, of healing, and of light. Darkness flees from us." -YP 
catbells

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Reply with quote  #1128 
Sending hugs and wishes to you Sotired. You are amazing xx
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Mum to 17y/o D living in England. RAN since Sept 2015. Refed at home but after getting within 3kg of WR D relapsed July 2016. hospital twice for 2 and then 5 weeks. Now IP since Sept 2016. Please God we're getting there.
Sotired

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Reply with quote  #1129 
It's all turned to crap.the day after my surgery the girl we are looking after threatened suicide so we had to put her in CFU.she is now in temporary respite care until I get my moonboot on.d had only just come out of a second time at hospital before this.then there was the autism course right before surgery.
Took days for me to be able to relax as I had telephone conversations,teleconference meetings and a difficult phone call with the girls parents too.
Ds potassium is low so she will probably be in hospital by Monday.foster daughter comes home on Tuesday.
Even though I could be doing more on my crutches I find myself unable to make myself.i am hoping that when I get my moonboot my mood improves and I feel like getting out of bed.
For now I'm struggling,not gonna lie.d has lost all her hair and her eyebrows.i don't know if you can die from gastroparesis,but I'm not sure how much her body can take to be honest.i cry pretty easy right now.
I've had friends helping out, I'm eating properly,I'm doing what I'm supposed to...but I'm just not feeling good at all.
Thank you for your kind wishes you guys sent, I've just been too tired and down to reply before now sorry.

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Sotired42
deenl

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Reply with quote  #1130 
Hey Sotired,

Just sending you a big fat hug. Hoping the bad times pass quickly.

Best wishes
D

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Mother of 13yo son restricting but no body image issues; inpatient 6 wks Sept/Oct 2015 but lost weight! So emotionally destroyed they agreed to let him home to us. Stable but no progress. Medical hosp to kick start recovery for Feb 2016. Slowly and cautiously gaining weight at home and seeing signs of our real kid. Hovering around WR. Mood great, mostly. Building up hour by hour at school after 18 months at home.

2 years since first signs and life is good. Happy, first trip away in years, tons of variety in food, stepping back into social life. 

  • Swedish proverb: Love me when I least deserve it because that's when I need it most.
  • We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence Recovery, then, is not an act but a habit. Aristotle.
  • If the plan doesn't work, change the plan but never the goal. (but don't give up on the plan too soon, maybe it just needs a tweak or a bit more time and determination [wink] )
  • We cannot control the wind but we can direct the sail.
HateEDwithApassion

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Reply with quote  #1131 
Sotired,

I am going to pray for you right now. Your burden is huge, and you are doing a Herculean effort to not just help your D but another struggling child too. You are amazing to even have a heart to do that. 

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17 yo D. Diagnosed in July 2013. W/R in Sept. 2013 and has remained so. Roller coaster on and off since, mainly with ED under control but co-morbid depression and other negative coping mechanisms making our life hell. Trusting in God for daily strength and wisdom.
tina72

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Reply with quote  #1132 
Hi sotired,
I hope you are getting better soon and are able to get off the bed again.
I think at you and send you some big hugs from Germany!
Tina72
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Reply with quote  #1133 
Dear Sotired,

I am thinking of you and sending you positive thoughts, cyber hugs, and compassion.  
Tali97

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Reply with quote  #1134 
Hi SoTired,

I am so sorry that those around you are not stepping up to care your burden for a while. I hope that they will do so soon to allow you to recover.

The gastroparesis I seem to remember that your daughter is taking many medications. I know that some medications can have a side effect of lowering absorption of certain minerals. I know that for my kid's asthma med lower magnesium in their case(it was linked to the celiac) and other meds lower potassium. 
When my son was on the tube he had a good liquid multi vitamin and mineral which I pushed down his tube. However given her loss of hair I would be asking the docs what they willing to do about the malabsorption/malabsorption problem that is going on. Hope things improve for all soon. 

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18 year old boy (Gluten Free/Dairy Free 2005)
 IP - March/April 2014.  ARFID.
 2015 - Gastroparisis
toothfairy

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Reply with quote  #1135 
Thinking of you Sotired x
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Son,DX with AN, (purging type) age 13 in October 2015 ,  (4 months immediate inpatient) , Then FBT at home since.and making progress every day. He is now in good recovery, and Living life to the full like a normal teen. We are not completely out of the woods yet, but we can see the light at the end of the tunnel, thanks to ATDT. Hoping to get him into full recovery and remission one day at a time.
Torie

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Reply with quote  #1136 
Aw SoTired ...

Coming back online after being away for a few days, this is SO not the report I was hoping to hear from your neck of the woods.  Ugh ugh ugh.

It's okay to stay in bed and take time to recover.  Let's say five gold stars for opening your eyes in the morning and another 5 if you get out of bed to pee, alright?  Really, it is your turn for everyone else to care for you while you heal,  for a change.  (Not going to happen, I know, but that doesn't change the fact that it IS your turn.)

Hang in there.  So great that your surgery is behind you and now you can move forward with your own health.

Brighter days are coming, Sotired.

Love you,

-Torie

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"We are angels of hope, of healing, and of light. Darkness flees from us." -YP 
Kali

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Reply with quote  #1137 
SoTired,

Thinking of you and your beautiful daughter and her friend, and hoping that you will all get the help and support you need to come out the other end of this stronger and better. Sending big hugs and virtual flowers.

Is your d. in the hospital? What does her team say? You mentioned she might go in today. I'm glad you have had friends helping out.

Can the parents of the girl you are looking after step up to the plate here and be more involved in her care? Suicide threats are very serious and everyone she knows and her professional team can help form a protective circle around her and help her through this. As they say, suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. 

warmly,

Kali

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Sotired

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Reply with quote  #1138 
You guys are the best.i read all your answers and messages of support and love and I cried (again).im still pretty tired but I will try to answer the questions asked.my foster ds parents are...interesting.one flew out of the country (possibly for work) and is still away.the other refused to even buy her shoes-she is using a pair of my ds.she has a trust fund and rather than pay for anything her dad just uses that money for her.i think it's a bloody disgrace.having said that,he is trying to reconnect with her and since I have had a very calm ,but very blunt conversation with him,he has a much clearer understanding how much help his child needs.
Her stay at CFU was a blessing ,as now we have been able to get a referral to tupu ora (formerly REDS) , get her on meds and if needed they will help with sorting her a living away from home allowance from the government.ithasbeen a week since she purged.i have however talked with her about the fact this isn't forever living with us so I want her to reestablish a relationship with her parents and get supports in place for her if that isn't possible.im trying to get some wrap around care going Kali but it's not a quick process...
In terms of my own d, she was in hospital but it was a suspiciously short admission so I'm not sure it will work.
The weird thing Tali is that she is taking the vitamins that promote hair growth and it was working.then suddenly for no reason that we can tell,they just stopped working.also,the eyebrows falling out hasn't happened before.so I can't explain it at all.
There has been so much shouting and screaming in this house Torie that it felt like a return to the bad old days but times two.both my daughters were very self centred,bi@chy to me and throwing tantrums.finally I lost the plot with them individually,really lost it.i was so tired,I hurt,I couldn't believe that I had failed so much as a mother,that two out of three of my children were just..awful.after that they came right and have been lovely.a day late and a dollar short,but I suppose better late than never.it wasn't that they hadn't done stuff ,but they were sometimes so horrible about it-and it was for two weeks that I needed them to be good to me,not two years after all.
Still,it's all finally coming right,I'm in a moonboot with crutches for a month now so more challenges ahead,but hopefully we all survive them...
Thank you so much for your prayers ,kind thoughts and compassion.you guys are so very kind.

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Sotired42
Foodsupport_AUS

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Reply with quote  #1139 
It never seems to stop does it? I hope you continue to heal well with your surgery. 
Some positives there in terms of D's friend, but no wonder you lost it with your children. Thinking of you. 

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D diagnosed restrictive AN June 2010 age 13.5. Weight restored July 2012. Relapse and now clawing our way back. Treatment: multiple hospitalisations and individual and family therapy.
Torie

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Reply with quote  #1140 
I guess sometimes we need to lose it so that our kids can see we are human after all and not bottomless pits of masochistic toleration.  I have had that experience, too, where things get worse and worse until I can't take it any more and practically throw someone out the window.  And then - poof - they are transformed into decent human beings.

Good luck with the moonboot.  Please take it easy as best you can.

Hugs,

-Torie

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"We are angels of hope, of healing, and of light. Darkness flees from us." -YP 
tina72

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Reply with quote  #1141 
Hi sotired,
I hope it all will get better in your house soon. You have a very big mountain there in front of you and I admire you because of that power to do that for your d and her friend. It is no wonder that you are out of control or sad or tired and you do certainly not have failed as a mother! We do all our best and sometimes there is a limit. Thats human and you are not superman! And I´m sure that your kids are not awful (they cannot be in my eyes because they seem to have a wonderful mum and this is genetic!) but the situation and this damn illness are awful.
The hair los was a big problem for us, too, my d lost nearly half of her hair. It increased at the beginning of refeeding and we gave her vitamins and minerals but it didn´t stop totally up to now (2,5 months in WR). Could you get her blood tested what minerals and vitamins are still less?
We think of you and we hope it all will get better soon. You are doing an incredible good job!
Send you a hundred hugs from Germany,
Tina72
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