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Foodsupport_AUS

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Reply with quote  #51 
I too would be concerned about just saying it is her ED talking. It may be, but as toothfairy points out Anorexia has a very high suicide rate, much higher than other illnesses. I would ask the therapist if she feels comfortable assessing suicidal thoughts and behaviours. I would also ask specifically how she recommends you respond and what she wants you to do if things reach crisis point or you are urgently concerned. When my D was at her most ill she was intensely suicidal. She was admitted to a psychiatric unit briefly because of this. We had a clear crisis plan, who to call and when with numbers etc. as well as urgent medications for sedation if needed. It made a big difference to dealing with things. Her psychiatrist also regularly assessed her risk. 
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D diagnosed restrictive AN June 2010 age 13.5. Weight restored July 2012. Relapse and now clawing our way back. Treatment: multiple hospitalisations and individual and family therapy.
njh1919

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Reply with quote  #52 
Thankyou again for your replies. The therapist did say we can call the police or mental health services but I do feel that she is dismissing the threats as just part of the illness. I feel she should have handed me some phone numbers of EXACTLY who to call or where to take her. We feel a little lost with lack of information so this forum is such a godsend.
Sotired

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Reply with quote  #53 
Please call marinoto tomorrow and ask them for the crisis team number for your area.whilst your therapist was remiss and is being far too casual,a sharp wake up call to her that you take this very seriously and that you need an action plan today please means she has no further excuse not to provide you with those phone numbers (if you have not rung marinoto) and a very firm action plan.dont take no for an answer and be prepared to change therapist if she does not do what you ask.
We actually started with a private therapist but she was very clear that she would only help us to a certain point and that if she felt she was no longer the best person that she would refer us onto the public system so that we had access to all the services needed.she did this within a month.
A good therapist knows what she does not know.she looks for answers.she gives proper information to public services that may well be needed.
Look after yourself and your daughter,

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njh1919

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Reply with quote  #54 
Thanks i have just googled Marinoto and found their contact details. It's good to have a backup if I need it.
I think it might be worth asking our therapist in front of my D, for the numbers. Then she knows we will take action if the threats continue.
No suicide threats today, just tells us she has been googling lawyers to see how she can leave home.
Sotired

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Reply with quote  #55 
She can be put under the mental health act and I would not hesitate to do this if she threatens you with that again.she is ineligible for any benefits as far as I'm aware so that would mean living on the streets.so she hasn't got a leg to stand on with this,also lawyers charge by the minute for advice-so make sure she knows she's paying for it.
There isn't anything I didn't hear I think when anorexia was in full swing,so I learned to have a quick answer and not to debate it.
You have weapons in this war hon so don't panic.

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Sotired42
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Reply with quote  #56 
Quote:
Originally Posted by njh1919
Or are any of your children recovered and are things back to how they were?


Yes, some of us have our kids back.  This vile illness drags the whole family through hell, but there is tons of hope that you will get your kid back.

Whatever you do, keep feeding.  That's the ticket. xx

-Torie

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"We are angels of hope, of healing, and of light. Darkness flees from us." -YP 
njh1919

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Reply with quote  #57 
We had a great week with a 900g gain - ecstatic, our first real gain! Then D saw the porridge recipe I was using with cream and 900 calories and had a meltdown. Says she no longer trusts us as we are sneaking cream in to her food. Feel like we are back to square one. She is now battling to make her own meals or stand there watching us make them. Im gutted. We were making such progress [frown]
Foodsupport_AUS

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Reply with quote  #58 
It does seem like such a set back when this sort of thing happens. When it happened to me, and it did on a number of occasions, I found the best way forward was to own up to it and keep on pushing forward.

You were not sneaking cream into her food. You were giving her the food she needs to help her get better. Ideally still keep her out of the kitchen. If she insists on watching I would go ahead and make that porridge and get her to eat it if at all possible. The fear is the illness, giving into the fear allows her illness to stay around. 

I found it helpful to acknowledge my D's distress but also name it as her anxiety (she hated this too) but it doesn't change the fact that she needs to keep on eating, and if it makes her too distressed to watch or supervise it is better for her to be out of the kitchen. 

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D diagnosed restrictive AN June 2010 age 13.5. Weight restored July 2012. Relapse and now clawing our way back. Treatment: multiple hospitalisations and individual and family therapy.
njh1919

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Reply with quote  #59 
Thanks Foodsupport_AUS. We have had a terrible day. It has spiralled in to her stopping eating and climbing on to the roof threatening to jump.
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Reply with quote  #60 
Hi,
This is horrific, Is there any way she can be admitted to a higher level of care immediately?

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Son,DX with AN, (purging type) age 13 in October 2015 ,  (4 months immediate inpatient) ,  Now Phase  2 , making progress every day. Living life to the full like a normal teen. We are not out of the woods yet, but we can see the light at the end of the tunnel, thanks to ATDT.
njh1919

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Reply with quote  #61 
I threatened to call the police and she came inside. She wanted to show me old photos of her before she lost the weight and told me how fat she was. She was 56kg... my husband is concerned that FBT doesnt focus at all on her mental health or her thoughts about her weight. Do you think she should be seeing someone about those thoughts as well as doung the FBT?
Foodsupport_AUS

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Reply with quote  #62 
Hi njh, we were unable to successfully get things started with FBT. When my D first became ill she was both medically very ill and was also suicidal. Her suicidality increased during re-feeding.  My D was re-fed with many of the principles but she also spent a lot of time in hospital (there are no residential units in Australia) being re-fed on a medical ward which had ED specialists. Because of her suicidal intentions and behaviours she saw a psychiatrist from very early on in her illness. He does not do FBT but again agrees with the principles and is very familiar with eating disorders (the bulk of his practice). She saw the psychiatrist as he was in the best position to assess the risk her suicidal thoughts and behaviours posed. Even though she has seen him for some time (we are coming up to seven years here) his main role early on was in forming a therapeutic relationship, helping her cope with the distress that refeeding posed, and assessing her risk. When seeing FBT therapists some were not keen to include him in her treatment whereas others were happy for him to do what he was doing. 

FBT traditionally only deals with those issues in Stage 3 but for some children the risks of waiting till then are too great. My D would not have survived without having psychiatric support and continuous risk assessment. If the risk is becoming too great, then perhaps things need to change tack, a higher level of care which still includes family in treatment so you can go back to FBT down the track may be a great plan.

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D diagnosed restrictive AN June 2010 age 13.5. Weight restored July 2012. Relapse and now clawing our way back. Treatment: multiple hospitalisations and individual and family therapy.
njh1919

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Reply with quote  #63 
Thankyou, yes I do wonder if she needs more than FBT. I can understand the theory of refeeding first, however it does nothing to assist her mental state. She clearly has terrible/dangerous thoughts and noone is helping her with that.
Sotired

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Reply with quote  #64 
don't forget you have the child and family unit available for suicidality and as it is part of starship your d will be moved onto the ward for NG feeding if there is a refusal to eat and drink.both of these are only available to you for a short time st this point-starship til 17 and CFU til 18 so use them now if you have to.suicide threats trump everything else so always deal with that first.
Good luck,

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njh1919

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Reply with quote  #65 
Thankyou sotired. She seems to have calmed down for the moment, but is still refusing food. We were doing so well, I feel so frustrated!
Sotired

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Reply with quote  #66 
Ok.the rule is 24 hours no fluid and you can go to starship,48hours no food you can go to starship.they have pretty clear criteria for admission and your d may meet this.one criteria is exhaustion of caregivers,so if that is where you are then take your d for assessment today.always ring the crisis line when your d has a suicdal episode as a paper trail also helps with admission.
Don't be brave if this is too much for you.we are only human too and our kids have no idea how exhausting it is to constantly be on high alert.
Have a plan and follow through,no matter what your d promises because that might be what it takes to get things to change.
Good luck

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njh1919

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Reply with quote  #67 
Thankyou so much for your support. I would be lost without this forum! I will definitely ring the crisis line next time. I think she is so torn. She says she is depressed and wants to kill herself but then says her friends are the only thing that makes her happy (none of them know fully what is going on). So i dont believe she actually wants to kill herself it is just to threaten us to get us to back off. But it still wont stop her doing something silly...
toothfairy

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Reply with quote  #68 
Hi,
So sorry that tnis is so hard.
You have been given great advice.
FWIW here's mine now..
I am not trying to scare you but anorexia has the highest death rate of any mental illness.
20% of sufferers die from complications of the illness or from suicide.
This horrific illness has a very high suicide rate.
If it were me I would take her to Starship today & have her admitted.
Best wishes
TF

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Son,DX with AN, (purging type) age 13 in October 2015 ,  (4 months immediate inpatient) ,  Now Phase  2 , making progress every day. Living life to the full like a normal teen. We are not out of the woods yet, but we can see the light at the end of the tunnel, thanks to ATDT.
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