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Posts: 1,172
Reply with quote  #26 

I'm sorry you are in this situation.  It's a really awful place, we know.

You've gotten such good advice.  I second you having a very thorough, secret search of his room and the bathroom/shower.  He may be eating 'junk' foods knowing he will get rid of them later.  

Another very strong possibility is him exercising in the night.  Are you a sound sleeper?  

It was very wise of you to have an appointment with the Dr before you take in s.  Toothfairy's links should give you some good material to start your discussions.

Please prepare yourself, and your dear MIL, for his possible reaction when it's time to get him to the appt. Sometimes my d got resistant to going to appointments.  It took two of us to 'herd' her into the car.  We would hold our arms wide and walk her backwards towards the door and then car.  Make sure the child locks are on and there's nothing he can use to distract or hurt anyone.  My d tipped an entire bottle of water over me while I was driving at 100k's down the motorway.  

Consider your plans A, B, and C (also, as deenl says, Plans WTf and FFS).  Everyone's safety is paramount.  Would you call the police if you couldn't get him into the car?  Would the Dr come out to your car if s won't get out?  Could he do a house call later that day?

This is your first big stand against ED, and it would be great if s could see you calm, confident, and firm.  (fake it until you make it!)

Sending you a big hug through cyber space.


D in and out of EDNOS since age 8. dx RAN 2013. WR Aug '14. Graduated FBT June 2015 at 18 yrs old. [thumb]

Posts: 969
Reply with quote  #27 
Hi akeys,

It took an age and even when my son was IP they didn't figure out the ED because

1. he was male and they don't expect it as much
2. the GP knew nothing (here a GP can expect to see someone with an ED roughly once every 5 years so it's not really suprising)
3. my son would eat things like a walnut and brie baguette and had no fat phobia
4. he had no drive to be thin or have muscles, he just had a total food phobia
5. by the time we did the whole round of GPs, phychologists, psychiatrists, IP etc looking for answers his brain was so malnourishes they though he had OCD, crazy parents, was on the autism spectrum, depressed etc. All have resolved without any treatment apart from nutritional rehabilitation.

You do need to be prepared for the fact that when our ED kids are first challenged the fight like tigers. Best to have lots of scenario planning done. If you don't need them, great. If you do, then at least you are well prepared.

Warm wishes,


2015 12yo son restricting but no body image issues, no fat phobia; lost weight IP! Oct 2015 home, stable but no progress. Medical hosp to kick start recovery Feb 2016. Slowly and cautiously gaining weight at home and seeing signs of our real kid.

May 2017 Hovering around WR. Mood great, mostly. Building up hour by hour at school after 18 months at home. Summer 2017 Happy, first trip away in years, tons of variety in food, stepping back into social life. Sept 2017, back to school full time for the first time in 2 years. Happy and relaxed, just usual non ED hassles. 

  • Swedish proverb: Love me when I least deserve it because that's when I need it most.
  • We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence Recovery, then, is not an act but a habit. Aristotle.
  • If the plan doesn't work, change the plan but never the goal. (but don't give up on the plan too soon, maybe it just needs a tweak or a bit more time and determination [wink] )
  • We cannot control the wind but we can direct the sail.
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