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EC_Mom

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Reply with quote  #1 
My D is doing very well, a blip awhile back but really great overall. Now the younger brother is quite overweight, never was before, and that is a whole new problem. Our ED nutritionist thinks we should leave it alone, he needs to just grow and definitely we shouldn't be trying to make him lose weight. Our non-ED (and ED-obtuse) pediatrician is worried. The kid is 95th percentile for weight and 60th for height, always was around 50th for both historically. The younger child was also evaluated for ARFID; he isn't ARFID but is very selective and hence very carb-focused.

Dealing with younger child's selectivity is hard in a different, and less scary, way than RAN by far. Now the overweight thing. I don't know what to do or how much energy to give this, I feel like I spent all my energy with D. 

Has anyone dealt with obesity in a non-ED sibling?
OneToughMomma

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Reply with quote  #2 
Dear EC Mom,

no, I've never dealt with a similar problem, but I know a few things.

We ED warrior mums are experts. You have spent years learning about nutrition under extreme pressure. You have gotten a really ill child to wellness through dint of hard work. I trust your judgement. If you think your boy is fine, then I believe you.  You've got one expert behind you, as well. 

I'm sorry you are having this extra worry right now, but I have every confidence that you will know what's best for your boy. 

xoOTM

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D in and out of EDNOS since age 8. dx RAN 2013. WR Aug '14. Graduated FBT June 2015 at 18 yrs old. [thumb]
Tali97

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Reply with quote  #3 
How old is your son? Has he started puberty? It seems that a number of kids will store the fuel for the big puberty growth spurt. He is your son if you feel that it is not a problem let it go. You know your son and trust your self. 
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18 year old boy (Gluten Free/Dairy Free 2005)
 IP - March/April 2014.  ARFID.
 2015 - Gastroparisis
Torie

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Reply with quote  #4 
Mamabear's son gained quite a bit of weight, and the family got some flack about that, if memory serves.  She just kept on feeding as she saw fit and eventually her s grew tall to grow into his weight.  Please keep us posted.  xx

-Torie

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"We are angels of hope, of healing, and of light. Darkness flees from us." -YP 
EC_Mom

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Reply with quote  #5 
Thanks for all the replies.  I am in fact worried about younger son's weight. It came on really quickly and it makes him self-conscious. His eating habits--not quite ARFID but that diagnosis was discussed--are really rigid and he is neophobic, hates to try new foods. He is open to my careful explanations that without protein he won't be as full and will be more hungry. I am framing all my language as "finding ways to be sure that you don't feel so hungry all the time and meals/snacks are more satisfying". He doesn't like cheese or nuts, and is a bit rigid in what preparations of chicken or eggs or beef are ok. 

I have tried scaffolding methods and have gotten him to eat grilled cheese sandwiches, some simple quesadillas, drink milk, and some fruit beyond raspberries and strawberries. But bread, potatoes and the like are his mainstay, which don't keep him satisfied at all, not surprisingly.

The plan is to try to have him grow into his weight, without continuing to gain so rapidly. Also of course more physical activity. He doesn't like team sports, does martial arts. It is just hard to balance all this, and keep my H from all his self-reproach and thinking we did everything all wrong with both kids. 
mamabear

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Reply with quote  #6 
Hi EC mom

my son ( and the whole family) did gain a lot of weight over the course of those 3 years my D was battling AN. 

My my son is now 13.5 ( was 7) when sister was diagnosed) and in the past about year, he has grown now 9 inches and is in the midst of full puberty. His weight went up but only by like 6 pounds over that 9 inches. He is a big guy- approaching 6 feet... and is definitely growing into his weight. He's now bigger than his dad. 

I know your son has food issues/preferences and I can't say my son did ( but he definitely likes chips and cookies), but a few things I have done ( and continue to do) are put out veggies and fruit trays after school. He will eat a ton of that. I also only serve water with meals ( he doesn't like milk). Now that all of us can eat without feeding an ED kid ( d in full recovery), I try to make a lot of stir Fry's, different yummy salads with chicken/Avacados/hardboiled eggs/nuts etc. I pack his lunch every day and usually have a sandwhich, fruit, carrots, yogurt etc. 

But he's also a 13.5 year old in full puberty who does need more food than the rest of us. I have NEVER EVER talked to him about his weight. I just encourage activity. Today I said " start calling some buddies and I will take you to the basketball court". So I just dropped him off to meet a few friends. We ski too. He's not a huge sports kid ( other than basketball) and loves his Xbox of course so I do work to get him out. 

I felt extreme guilt. But it is what it is. We saved his sister and unfortunately we all did pay a price. But now 6 plus years later everyone has normalized. 

So my advice us do what you can do, but don't freak out. 

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