User’s Guide | Rules | Contact a Moderator | Registration or Login Problems? | Eating Disorders Learning Center | F.E.A.S.T.



Custom Search of F.E.A.S.T. and Forum Content:
Register Latest Topics
 
 
 


Reply
  Author   Comment   Page 1 of 4      1   2   3   4   Next
Hebrides

Avatar / Picture

Caregiver
Registered:
Posts: 201
Reply with quote  #1 
I've not been here in a while, so my thoughts go out to everyone in the trenches whose stories I have yet to catch up on.

After our last string of hospital admissions back in May, d (who is now 17) managed to come home and keep going with eating and drinking enough to stay in a relatively stable state for the rest of the summer, motivated in large part by the desire to come on holiday with us at the end of August. We had a happy (and warm!) week in the far north west of Scotland; my eyes were often moist watching d and her sister body boarding and swimming as they used to do before AN struck.

At the end of the summer term we had already made the decision that d would not be returning to restart her A levels at her high-achieving girls' grammar school; she and we visited the local further education college and felt she would get good support there, and less academic pressure along with smaller class sizes and a more flexible timetable. Starting somewhere new was, of course, a source of massive anxiety and stress, having been out of school for 2 years, but with the support of our brilliant CAMHS occupational therapist (who worked hard with d rebuilding confidence at using public transport again etc) and d's college mentor, she did it and we are immensely proud of her. All seemed ok for the first few weeks - coping well with the lessons, managing homework, eating lunch with her mentor - but soon we were noticing more attempts at restriction, in particular complete refusal of several main meals. Alarm bells were ringing, and after 2 weeks' significant weight loss we were getting very concerned. Admission to the paediatric ward followed, with the (by now) usual challenges of absconding from the ward, not eating/drinking etc. This time, however, d was also preventing staff from using the ng tube - at times holding on to it for several hours. ECGs showed her heart was not functioning as well as it should (QT interval longer than normal). She said the thought of keeping going with eating/drinking for 2 years in order to complete her A levels was too big and daunting a task - she was so tired of fighting the AN and the voice in her head was so strong and bullying. She doesn't want us or anyone to care about her, wants to give up and die, cannot see the possibility of recovery. There were many times that week that I could not hold back my tears... I cannot imagine how hard it is for her to stand up to AN all day every day.

So she was sectioned last Thursday (section 3) and I then took her to a specialist ED unit in Middlesbrough. We are still reeling from how quickly things have got to this point again, and so so worried for her future. It is so hard to stay upbeat and positive when everything seems to be crumbling around us, and when we are exhausted and drained from fighting AN at close quarters. I know I need to use this time wisely (again) to recharge and I know the travelling and visiting will be tiring. It's hard to see how anything can change this time round and we know that at 95% weight for height earlier in the year (after 8 months IP) there was no sign at all of any shift in her thinking. On the other hand, the nutrition IS going in (often by ng), the staff seem good and there will be opportunities for family sessions once a fortnight. I think I need to go away and read some positive recovery stories!

xx


__________________
Mum to 17 year old daughter with AN,1 year IP from Feb 2015, discharged Feb 2016, WR but mentally nowhere near where she needs to be. Remained stable but rapid weight loss again leading to admission to specialist ED unit Sept 2016. Back round the circle...
Torie

Avatar / Picture

Caregiver
Registered:
Posts: 4,300
Reply with quote  #2 
Hi Hebrides - So sorry to read about this recent unraveling. Ugh. I don't really have any advice, but I wanted to reply to let you know how sorry I am about all the difficulty. It's great that you were on top of things so that she is getting help before her weight dropped to dramatic levels. Really really awful, though, how this vile illness drags the whole family through the ringer. 

How I wish for a magical cure. Dang.

Hang in there - your d is very lucky to have you on her side. xx

-Torie

__________________
"We are angels of hope, of healing, and of light. Darkness flees from us." -YP 
MarcellaUK

Avatar / Picture

Moderator
Registered:
Posts: 3,336
Reply with quote  #3 
How heartbreaking for you all.

Yes, if you have the time and the energy, do read some positive recovery stories. There are a lot of wonderful ones out there. However as you know this is also an opportunity for you to rest. My biggest regret about the time my d was in hospital is that I did not spend more of it asleep

__________________
Fiona Marcella UK
melstevUK

Caregiver
Registered:
Posts: 2,515
Reply with quote  #4 
Hebrides,

It is utterly hellish to be back with your d in hospital again.  It also causes us such anguish to see them suffering.  However, with a few days nutrition she may be a little bit brighter in herself - just getting nutrition in can allow some slight let-up in the agonising thoughts.  You have very good advice in terms of getting as much rest as you can, between the occasions when you are not traveling to the unit.

'It's hard to see how anything can change this time round'

When you at the bottom of a spiral right down, it IS hard to see your way out.  But your d is young and she WILL come through this, with your support and understanding.

If you can, hide your own anguish and try and present a pragmatic front because your confidence will be reassuring. Which is not to say that you cannot be loving - of course you can.

Tell her things like

 'I know you are finding it hard right now but people do recover and you WILL get through this'
'We know you are not choosing to be ill but we will not stand back and let this illness take your life.  You are in the right place right now and you are being well looked after' (useful for when she gives you a hard time about what is happening)

I would be reminding her of your happy family summer and that you are going to get back to those times.

If she is showing any despair about not studying, tell her that her health is more important than anything and there is time when she is well to think about what she wants to do with her life.  It might or might not include A levels, but right now that is not important.

Did they give her an ssri while she was at a better weight?  Later on some medication might help.  I would not rule it out.  

Helping with a loved ones's recovery is a balance between keeping an eye on the future you want to get to and ensuring that everything gets done that needs to be done in the present.  

You at least have more understanding about the illness - which tends to be a relapsing one - and all the right things are being done, as scary as it is for the whole family.


__________________
Believe you can and you're halfway there.
Theodore Roosevelt.
mjkz

Avatar / Picture

Caregiver
Registered:
Posts: 1,068
Reply with quote  #5 
Oh boy.  I'm so sorry to hear about the recent unraveling but greatly relieved to hear how well she did for awhile.  That is a huge accomplishment!!!  It sounds like having a goal to work towards really worked well for your daughter so maybe you can look at more goals to help when she gets out again.  I hope you take the time to rest and recharge your own batteries.
K63

Caregiver
Registered:
Posts: 836
Reply with quote  #6 
Hi Hebrides, sorry to hear that your d is ip but good that she is safe and getting nutrition. It's great also that she had a good period for a while and this will give you hope that it will happen again . Never give up hope we had a very difficult time after my d was discharged and refeeding was slow and lots of yo yoing . I can see how easy it is to relapse and relapses are part of this illness. To offer you some encouragement my d is now in college recovery is a slow process she needs a lot of support but I have to hope that she will fully recover from this awful illness . Hope you can get some rest while your d is ip .
__________________
Daughter started restricting in February 2014, tried re feeding at home hospital admission 4 1/2 months weight restored started restricting post discharge, back on meal plan full supervision weight restored april 2016. Starting to hand back responsibility for meals it's scary. 
NELLY_UK

Avatar / Picture

Caregiver
Registered:
Posts: 1,898
Reply with quote  #7 
She knows the deal now and its good they have taken her in. It may take several ip admissions but thats no reflection on you.
I hate ed.
grrrr

__________________
NELLY D 18 bulimic since age 12, diagnosed in 2011. 20 months useless CAMHs,7 months great IP, home March 14..... more useless CAMHs.now an adult & no MH services are involved. I reached the end of my tether, tied a knot in it and am hanging on. Bulimia treatmentis in the dark ages in West Sussex.
Hebrides

Avatar / Picture

Caregiver
Registered:
Posts: 201
Reply with quote  #8 
Thanks, everyone, for your support and wise words. I am TRYING to rest/sleep etc, honest - and H and I even when out to the cinema followed by a curry last night [smile]. Can't remember the last time we did something like that together. We have H's sister + 3 kids coming to stay tomorrow for a couple of days and it will be lovely to focus on them for a change.

It's hard to get a clear idea of how d is doing, but my hunch is OKish, and we have our initial meeting with the IP team on Friday, so will know more then. She says she is managing to eat some of the meals, sometimes has supplement, sometimes via ng (they put a tube down just for one meal ie if you don't eat the meal or have supplement, in theory you could end up having a tube passed 6 times a day, not pleasant in anybody's book). D has now been granted section 17 leave to be off the unit for up to an hour, so we managed a change of scene a couple of times last weekend. However, she had also been out with a group of staff and other patients before I arrived, and confided in me that she had found it immensely hard to resist the urge to flee (there were several opportunities as they were in a shopping centre) as she felt staff were (of necessity) occupied with the patients in wheelchairs and she herself felt a bit unsupported. I was so grateful she told me this - and of course I passed it on the nurse in charge, not at all as a criticism, but to make them aware of the intensity of d's feelings and her need for support. I guess they are still getting to know her and the characteristics of her illness - and I guess not every member of staff will necessarily have read or been made aware all the paperwork which came with her. 

One wonderful thing about this place - the NHS trust pays for parents to have one night a week in the local Travelodge!!!! I just have to let the unit secretary know when I/we are coming and she does the rest - it's a touching way of demonstrating real practical care for the whole family, and is much appreciated. 

Will update after Friday's meeting. Hugs to all of you, whatever stage you are at of coping with this most awful illness.

xx

__________________
Mum to 17 year old daughter with AN,1 year IP from Feb 2015, discharged Feb 2016, WR but mentally nowhere near where she needs to be. Remained stable but rapid weight loss again leading to admission to specialist ED unit Sept 2016. Back round the circle...
momon

Caregiver
Registered:
Posts: 654
Reply with quote  #9 
Hugs to you. Your dedication to your daughter as your family helps her to move forward toward lasting health is inspirational to me and others! Glad you had a little positive time with your husband and enjoy everything you can, it all restores you to help her and .... you are important also.
Hebrides

Avatar / Picture

Caregiver
Registered:
Posts: 201
Reply with quote  #10 
It's hard to believe another week has gone by. Last week's meeting felt positive - met more of the team, talked about predisposing factors, presentation, prolonging factors, protective factors, risks and planning. Also acknowledgement that D needs a particularly individualised plan (don't they all?) given the possible ASD traits. I had a good day with her on Saturday but...

Since then there have been problems - firstly, she was found by staff in her room with a ligature round her neck, uptick in self harm on arms (not surprising), then Tuesday morning she absconded while a group of patients were going over to the Education area - it's all connected, and although there is a locked door from the ward to the rest of the hospital, once on the other side it is the outpatient CAMHS area, with lovely automatic doors to the outside world... She was out for 45 minutes, found by police, handcuffed (?!!! - though I think from what she's said she was resisting being taken back, so maybe they had to...) and returned safe to the ward. Traumatic for her, traumatic for us. I was in my local doctor's waiting room at the time - and couldn't stop crying. Thankfully my GP is a brilliant listener and so supportive. D did send me a text to say sorry, but talking to her later on she was very low. Since then she has struggled to eat - we were there yesterday and had a family lunch but D didn't touch hers despite our best efforts and those of the staff member supporting her. She also refused supplement, but did have it via ng. She has told me this evening that she gained 1kg at weigh in today (yay!) but felt "rubbish" (of course, we expect that) and has refused all her medication today (she is on 60mg Fluoxetine and 20mg Olanzapine daily). I think the doctor and pharmacist have both talked to her today - I hope so much she will not persist with this line tomorrow... I am so worried about the side effects of stopping these abruptly, as well as the potential negative effect on her mental health of not taking them. 

H and I are going up for the weekend tomorrow - and I'm already dreading what state she will be in, how she will be around us (likely snappy, sarcastic, touchy), what if the hospital says they cannot manage her....? When I said this evening something was "positive" she bit my head off and had a rant about hating it when people say well done (I purposefully DIDN'T say well done for that reason!). I just want my d back, or at least to see that she is taking little steps along the road towards recovery, even though AN tells her to go the other way. At the moment it seems she is doing absolutely everything she can to drift further and further away from us [frown].

xx



__________________
Mum to 17 year old daughter with AN,1 year IP from Feb 2015, discharged Feb 2016, WR but mentally nowhere near where she needs to be. Remained stable but rapid weight loss again leading to admission to specialist ED unit Sept 2016. Back round the circle...
Foodsupport_AUS

Avatar / Picture

Lead Moderator
Registered:
Posts: 3,002
Reply with quote  #11 
Hebrides, what a dreadful experience for you, and for your D as well. It must feel as though it will never end. Good news that she at least gained some weight, though it must feel like small compensation for all the drama that happened. Stay calm, keep breathing. Her brain at the moment will make her say horrible things at times but you are there for her. 
__________________
D diagnosed restrictive AN June 2010 age 13.5. Weight restored July 2012. Relapse and now clawing our way back. Treatment: multiple hospitalisations and individual and family therapy.
mjkz

Avatar / Picture

Caregiver
Registered:
Posts: 1,068
Reply with quote  #12 
Quote:
At the moment it seems she is doing absolutely everything she can to drift further and further away from us [frown].


I don't know if this rings true for you but sort of like the extinction burst, I would often see the worst behavior from my daughter right before a sudden change in the right direction.  Just when I would be at my lowest having to hear her rants and all the crap she would sling at me, then something good and actually recovery oriented would happen.  I know I have seen others here talk about it too so I'm hoping that is what is going to happen in your case.

You might set the tone for visiting her this weekend by letting her know you only want to talk to her and not her eating disorder.  I have at times told my daughter when she starts in that she can stop and refocus or I was leaving.  I would take in games and things like that for us to do together and just focus on shutting down the negative sarcastic stuff.  Full disclosure though-we had a few times where we sat in silence for hours while I was there.  It took some practice just like any skill but she finally got that I was serious and it really helped my level of stress. 

Another thing I tried was something that something that was done at a high school reunion that I went too.  The speaker for the night gave us 15 minutes to talk about our medical conditions (you'd have thought we were old or something) and that was it.  Then we had to find new things to talk about so maybe telling your daughter she has 15 minutes to rant and rave about how horrible things are at the hospital and how she hates everything and then she has to find other things to talk about.  Just a few ideas to help make your visit a bit more pleasant [biggrin]
Torie

Avatar / Picture

Caregiver
Registered:
Posts: 4,300
Reply with quote  #13 
Oh my goodness, what a difficult time. Ugh. 

As you say, it was going much better and then - BOOM - sudden shift into hell. But often, the next sudden shift is a positive one ... just no way to predict what tomorrow will bring. (I realize you know this, but maybe a reminder doesn't hurt?)

I don't have any advice for you - just loads of sympathy. Your d is lucky to have you - please remember to take care of yourself. xx

-Torie

__________________
"We are angels of hope, of healing, and of light. Darkness flees from us." -YP 
Torie

Avatar / Picture

Caregiver
Registered:
Posts: 4,300
Reply with quote  #14 
P.S.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hebrides
... has refused all her medication today (she is on 60mg Fluoxetine and 20mg Olanzapine daily). I think the doctor and pharmacist have both talked to her today - I hope so much she will not persist with this line tomorrow... I am so worried about the side effects of stopping these abruptly, as well as the potential negative effect on her mental health of not taking them. 


This is probably a stupid question, but have her meds been reviewed by psych recently? I know my d seemed to experience an increase in suicidal ideation while (briefly) on fluoxetine.  Just a thought. xx

-Torie

__________________
"We are angels of hope, of healing, and of light. Darkness flees from us." -YP 
Hebrides

Avatar / Picture

Caregiver
Registered:
Posts: 201
Reply with quote  #15 
Thank you all so much for words of wisdom and support - I do appreciate it so much, even if I'm not too good at responding at the moment. 

So, the rollercoaster continues in full swing. D continues to refuse meds. The w/e h and I spent with her was ok - no deep conversations, plenty of game playing - and she was still on 1-1 obs at all times. I was with her last weekend and she seemed amazingly bright - chatty, fun to be with, and when I texted her when I got home she replied saying "it was good to feel a bit happier" - I can't describe how happy I felt to read that, but you will all understand. But I have learnt not to expect positive times to continue for long, and she seems to have been very unsettled on the ward since last Sunday - repeated attempts to leave, ligatures, SH, not eating (but still having supplements). Staff have had to be firm in restraining her at the door, but she is interpreting their firmness (raised voices, physical restraint, requests to go back to the lounge/bedroom etc, telling her she's disturbing other patients etc) as very personal and negative, inferring these interactions mean she is a "waste of space" and a "fake", although she admits these are her words, not those of staff. Whereas at the end of last week she seemed to be beginning to interact more with other patients, she is now curling up in a ball behind the sofa and says she feels everyone is looking at her and judging her. It almost feels like paranoia...

She has also refused to speak on the phone with us since Sunday, is not responding to my texts and when I was there yesterday barely said hello - such a change from a few days earlier, and from her "normal" self. Not seen the refusing to communicate at all before now. Since she won't text/talk I can't quite work out what's really going on for her.

Before I left yesterday the psychiatrist asked to see me - and told me what we had been fearing, that she is not sure d is in the right place and that she wants to explore transfer to a generic CAMHS unit (the one d was in nearer to home earlier this year). Although d hasn't shared this with us, she has told staff that if she were to get out again she wanted to find a bridge...The psychiatrist does think d will benefit from DBT but that she isn't in a place to engage at the moment because she is still very underweight, and asked if anyone had mentioned Borderline Personality Disorder to us (they haven't). She was keen to say that was in no way a diagnosis, but just a possible path to explore (also said it's not normally diagnosed until post-18 because younger than that young people are still developing). So it looks like we may be on the move again - sigh. I did say that if that did go ahead, we would want to be clear to the other unit that d needs treatment there (refeeding plus therapy) - it's not just a step down to home which is what happened last time - they didn't offer treatment for the depression/SH/suicidal ideation but rather were keen to get the community team to pick up the reins.

It just all feels like such a big, complex, shifting mess and I don't feel I can handle it. Today I am sitting at home, feeling low, tearful and listless, not able to focus on anything, not able to distract myself with anything, despite there being masses of things that need doing before I head back up north to be with d for the w/e. 

Apologies for the overlong whinge - and thank you if you've managed to read this far - the support and understanding from you amazing people here is beyond wonderful.

xx

PS Torie - meds have not been changed since d was IP a year ago. The current psych was planning to rethink them once d had settled in but d took things into her own hands...she thinks the olanzapine will be out of the system now but not the fluoxetine yet. She is still puzzling over the dosage - and will talk to the IP psych from last year as I think pretty much all the increases were from that period. It is so hard to know whether there is a link between the yoyo behaviours and thoughts of the past weeks and coming off the meds...

__________________
Mum to 17 year old daughter with AN,1 year IP from Feb 2015, discharged Feb 2016, WR but mentally nowhere near where she needs to be. Remained stable but rapid weight loss again leading to admission to specialist ED unit Sept 2016. Back round the circle...
EDAction

Caregiver
Registered:
Posts: 343
Reply with quote  #16 
Hebrides,

I am praying for you and your D.  I feel the heaviness in your heart and the despair in your words.  But I also read that you are taking action and I can hear how much you love your girl.  

I am with you in spirit . . .
NELLY_UK

Avatar / Picture

Caregiver
Registered:
Posts: 1,898
Reply with quote  #17 
Wow
Wow
Coming off meds like that is bound to cause a reaction of sorts. I hope now she is off them she settles. My d keeps stopping and starting meds and tbh i would rather if she is going to mess about like that, and it does severely affect her mood and behaviour, I would rather she was off them.
Its tricky if meds are fequired but to be on and off you wont know whether you are coming or going.
The head psych at Huntercombe used to talk about other diagnosis but he and his dr took the stance that it is impossible to diagnose anything else whilst the ed is present. I know they are reluctant to diagnose many things until post 18 but bear in mind no diagnosis will be clear cut whilst ed behaviours are raging.
Try try to keep her on the ed ward, it sounds like it is where she needs to be as her behaviour is all so typical.
Hang on to the roller coaster, its just the worst time ever. Its good she is in IP getting specialist help, hang on to that.
Xxx

__________________
NELLY D 18 bulimic since age 12, diagnosed in 2011. 20 months useless CAMHs,7 months great IP, home March 14..... more useless CAMHs.now an adult & no MH services are involved. I reached the end of my tether, tied a knot in it and am hanging on. Bulimia treatmentis in the dark ages in West Sussex.
Foodsupport_AUS

Avatar / Picture

Lead Moderator
Registered:
Posts: 3,002
Reply with quote  #18 
I am really sorry to hear how your poor D is struggling so much at the moment. 
Am I right in thinking they are recommending another unit because they feel they don' t have the resources where she is to deal with her self harm, running away and suicidal ideations? Having had a child who was moved to general psych from the eating disorder ward for this, I can appreciate how frightening it all is. My experience with the general ward was not good, it was clear to me that the staff did not understand eating disorders and requiring D to eat. That of course does not mean that is what would happen for your D. Thinking of you.  

__________________
D diagnosed restrictive AN June 2010 age 13.5. Weight restored July 2012. Relapse and now clawing our way back. Treatment: multiple hospitalisations and individual and family therapy.
Penny31

Caregiver
Registered:
Posts: 156
Reply with quote  #19 
Really sorry to hear what you're going through, and hope you get a breakthrough with the treatment soon. 
Toothfairy mentioned asking to be transferred to the Maudsley, but it's worth pointing out that the Maudsley doesn't have an inpatient ED unit. Snowsfields Ward at the Maudsley is a general psych ward, and although they have links with the outpatient ED team it's not the same as being on a specialist ED unit. They're also only prepared to take a very small number of ED patients at any one time. 
Just mentioning this for the forum generally as I know the word 'Maudsley' can make people think they've got amazing facilities, but actually the ED team at the Maudsley work to keep young people out of hospital, and so don't have a specialist IP ward of their own. I think my D's experience is fairly typical - under the care of the outpatient ED team at the Maudsley until they felt they could no longer cope, at which point she was sent to the general psych ward at the Bethlem. The Bethlem doesn't have specialist inpatient ED facilities either - their ED unit is outpatient and over 18s only.  


__________________
14 year-old D diagnosed with AN in March 2016. Episodes of self-harming, anxiety, severe depression. Waiting for a CAMHS assessment to see if there's an additional diagnosis. 
mjkz

Avatar / Picture

Caregiver
Registered:
Posts: 1,068
Reply with quote  #20 
Hebrides, glad your weekend went so well with her. It sounds pretty typical ED pattern where she enjoyed something and now ED is punishing her for it.  It is so hard to watch but hopefully things will start evening out soon.  Quitting her meds is just doing to make it worse because she will be going through withdrawal from quitting them abruptly.  Unfortunately they only seem to learn by doing the same things over and over again.  I live for the day when they start doing something and realize hey!!! I've done this before and it sucked.  I need to do something different.[biggrin]
Hebrides

Avatar / Picture

Caregiver
Registered:
Posts: 201
Reply with quote  #21 
I'm so grateful for your support and empathy, thank you.  Thanks, Penny31, for clarifying about the Maudsley, too. This last w/e was ok-ish - we managed to play games, although d was in a slightly odd mood, sort of mischievous but in an irritating way (or maybe I'm just too tired and worried to have any sense of humour left). Since I left on Sat evening there's been no further phone contact, and only texts when she wants us to bring something. I believe staff are trying to encourage her to keep in touch with us, but also don't want to push too hard either. All she could say at the w/e was that she wanted to avoid upsetting us [by talking on the phone about how she was feeling] - although the reality is that I find her closing down of communication lines infinitely more distressing. Maybe the ED is trying to punish her by making her withdraw from the people who love her most? 

One thing - I saw a bit of paper in her room while she was at lunch (so I think she had written down things to ask for or about in ward round, which get passed on to the team for consideration) and she had written "ask about progress on section appeal". !!****** WHAT????? I know she has a right to appeal, but the thought of her appeal being upheld and her being able to discharge herself fills me with utter horror. Obviously she hasn't said anything to us; presumably staff know. Anybody else had a child appeal against their section (hers is a section 3 for treatment for 6 months)? I'm sure we as parents also have rights - and I will go dig out the paperwork now.That's all we need.

I feel way out of my depth at the moment. I know I could and should be using this time to read and research as much as possible, but in the times I spend at home I find it so hard to settle to anything at all. 

xx




__________________
Mum to 17 year old daughter with AN,1 year IP from Feb 2015, discharged Feb 2016, WR but mentally nowhere near where she needs to be. Remained stable but rapid weight loss again leading to admission to specialist ED unit Sept 2016. Back round the circle...
Sotired

Caregiver
Registered:
Posts: 1,887
Reply with quote  #22 
Our one was going to appeal her second section but oddly when her dad said could she not because otherwise he would have to go to court again and he didn't want to she didn't go ahead with it.i think just the knowledge that we would appeal her appeal so to speak, showed her that we meant what we said- that until there was compliance we would fight to keep her under section.i think it's important that they do know this, otherwise in the bubble of treatment away from home they forget that we too have the right-the right to safeguard them from themselves.
The staff can have an obligation to inform them, but they don't seem to inform them that we can,and do, turn up n court.also that you can have a meeting with the pysch and they can teleconference into the court their opinion that section should stay in place.our pysch did this for us when we had to go through court to keep her third section in place.
So once again we have done it both ways-made our d aware that we know and that has been enough to stop her appealing and also having gone through the court to keep section in place.it was not done in the court by the way, it was done in a private room in the child and family unit.
I am so sorry that things continue to be so hard Hebrides, a virtual hug and a cup of tea come from me to you.


__________________
Sotired42
mjkz

Avatar / Picture

Caregiver
Registered:
Posts: 1,068
Reply with quote  #23 
Hebrides, my daughter appealed every single one of them and never won.  It was always obvious that if she wasn't eating and trying to kill herself inpatient then she needed treatment.  She was never willing to get treatment in the early days so we had to go to court on a regular basis.  I was pretty vocal about the fact that if she was successful in overturning her commitment that she still had to do the same treatment as if she was still sectioned or committed.  She never agreed with that and it just helped strengthen the case to keep her under a section.  

That being said, you may need to start coming up with a plan B.  If she is able to win the appeal, are you okay with her coming home?  If not, make that clear so they can start looking for a place to put her if she wins.  As hard as it is to say no to her coming home, letting the doctors know you are not okay with taking her home when she is actively refusing meds, actively trying to strangle herself and not eating can only help bring home the point that she needs more care.  It might be worth having a talk with the treating psychiatrist (s) to see what they think will happen.
K63

Caregiver
Registered:
Posts: 836
Reply with quote  #24 
Hi Hebrides, it's horrible what ye are all going through but try to focus on the positive glimpses you get of your d and with full nutrition you will see more of her . Sorry I don't have any advice just to say I am sorry for the nightmare this illness puts us and our children through . Keep fighting and we have all to hope we will come out the other end. My d is a lot further on than this time last year but it's a slow slow recovery . Take care of yourself it's what gets me through each day .
__________________
Daughter started restricting in February 2014, tried re feeding at home hospital admission 4 1/2 months weight restored started restricting post discharge, back on meal plan full supervision weight restored april 2016. Starting to hand back responsibility for meals it's scary. 
Hebrides

Avatar / Picture

Caregiver
Registered:
Posts: 201
Reply with quote  #25 
Thanks, Sotired and mjkz, for your experience of appeals against sections - nothing more has been said either by staff or d on this front, but I am at least a little reassured that it would seem unlikely any appeal would be upheld. 

I am finding d's continued almost total lack of communication over the past 3 weeks (refusing to speak on phone - after always wanting to talk each day; not responding to texts, fb messages, other than the briefest of answers to essential practical questions) immensely hard to bear. My instinct tells me to continue sending her supportive messages, reminding her of our love for her, and our belief that things will get better etc etc and that to stop doing so would send the wrong message entirely ie that she is not worth communicating with and we are abandoning her. That's not as bad as the refusal to speak - I feel as though I am losing my grip on how she is day to day, and although I try to touch base with the ward staff each day, it's not the same as speaking to d and hearing the tone of her voice...

We had a pretty grim visit midweek - family session, with d curled up in a ball on the sofa not engaging at all, other than a few shoulder shrugs, nods and head shakes, followed by an afternoon where she seemed angry and tetchy, and didn't want to play games or have any kind of conversation with us. I have been with her for the last 2 days, and while she has been less frosty, any attempt at all to talk about anything other than the mundane, everyday, practical stuff was shut down by her immediately. She continues to not eat ((taking all her meal plan through supplements with the occasional ng feed) and is still on 1-1 observations. In order for there to be any hope at all of home leave at Christmas,which she of course desperately wants, she would need to be off 1-1s at the very least, I assume. I know it's not the end of the world if it doesn't happen,but we would of course love to be able to bring her home, however briefly.

Sorry - reading this back just sounds like a big whinge. I suppose my positive belief that she and we can get through this is getting a little frayed and cracked - and that is the most frightening thing in the world. Deep breath - and carry on.

xx


__________________
Mum to 17 year old daughter with AN,1 year IP from Feb 2015, discharged Feb 2016, WR but mentally nowhere near where she needs to be. Remained stable but rapid weight loss again leading to admission to specialist ED unit Sept 2016. Back round the circle...
Previous Topic | Next Topic
Print
Reply

Quick Navigation:

F.E.A.S.T. Families Empowered and Supporting Treatment of Eating Disorders
is a 501(c)3 charitable organization committed to maintaining the Around the Dinner Table forum as a FREE service for any caregiver of a loved-one with an eating disorder.

P.O. Box 1281 | Warrenton, VA 20188 USA

US +1 855-50-FEAST | Canada +1 647-247-1339 | Australia +61 731886675 | UK +443308280031 

This forum is sponsored by F.E.A.S.T., an organization of parents serving parents and caregivers of patients of all ages with anorexia, bulimia, and other eating disorders. Information and advice given on this forum does not necessarily represent the policy or opinion of F.E.A.S.T. or its volunteers and is meant to support, not replace, professional consultation.

F.E.A.S.T. is registered as a nonprofit organization under section 501(c)(3) of the United States Internal Revenue Code.

Terms of Use | Privacy Policy | Community Rules | Forum Rules | F.E.A.S.T. Principles | YMadmin | WTadmin
Custom Search of F.E.A.S.T. and Forum Content: