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yellowcaty

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Reply with quote  #1 
So, after a long wait (at least 5 weeks) my D was finally offered a bed at Newbridge in Sutton Coldfield. The only downside is that she has to wait until 25th April. It is going to be a long week and a half.

What is the best way to prepare her and the rest of the family for her admission?

Yellowcaty
scaredmom

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Reply with quote  #2 

Oh yellowcaty,
That is amazing. You must feel a sense of relief! 
She does know she will be admitted, right? Did the team talk to her to and discuss it?
I would try to be very positive with her and the family that this is what is needed for her. It is the best for her health and that you support her getting better. For the rest of the family, maybe asking if they had any questions that you may answer specifically?


Just throwing out ideas. We had NO time to prepare.D saw doctor in the morning and was told then and there she would be admitted right from the clinic. 

I am so happy for you. 

XXX

Kali

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Reply with quote  #3 
YAY!!!!!!! Yellowcaty!!!!!!!
You must feel so relieved!

We got our d. ready by taking a look at the list of things the treatment center would not allow and would allow them to bring. No belts or sharps for example. Loose and comfortable fitting clothing. Clothing marked with her name on the labels. We also sent her off with a coloring book and markers, as well as a couple of books she wanted to read and a journal to write in. They will most likely also have guidelines about electronics.

How far is the treatment center from where you live? 

Hoping this will be the beginning of things turning around for your daughter!!!!

warmly,

Kali

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yellowcaty

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Reply with quote  #4 
It is such a relief, as I was beginning to feel like this day would never come. We had to go for an assessment because of the bed crisis, so they could make sure that beds were allocated according to priority. She was considered a priority, but this was the first bed available. We have been told that if things get any worse she may have to be admitted on to a paediatric ward in the meantime. Her potassium levels are low again, so this is still a concern. It only hit me today how poorly she actually is. We have lived with it so long that it just becomes normal (I’m not sure I have phrased that correctly) and it isn’t until you see the reactions of other medical professionals that it really hits you.

I know it is the best place for her and our CAMHS team know it really well. It is about 40 mins from home and probably our nearest unit. We didn’t get to look round which was a shame, but we did get lots of information to take away. My D took it well. The purging is taking such a toll on her and she accepts that she needs help.

I think the next 10 days are probably going to go so slowly, but at least it gives us time to get things ready. I just need to stay strong and not give into ED whilst we wait.

Thank you everyone for your support and ideas about how to get ready. Did you pack lots of things or add as you went along?
She isn’t allowed phone/ laptops etc, so we are trying to think of a way that she can listen to music. iPods have cameras so she can’t have one of those. Her biggest issue was that she can’t take chewing gum!

Yellowcaty
mid73

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Reply with quote  #5 
At last! Really pleased for you. Glad it’s not massively far from home too. I have no advice other than beware that she may plead with you to be brought home and hate it when the reality sinks in that ED has been cornered. Stay strong and best of luck. Admission was the best thing that happened for our daughter despite her protestations.

Thinking of you x

Kali

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Reply with quote  #6 
Hi Yellowcaty,

I remember getting my d. a little mp3 player or shuffle and loading it up with music she liked. Maybe you can find something reasonably priced on ebay?

My d. was also purging and having the behaviors interrupted in a residential setting was really important. I could not have done what they for her did at home. It is great that the center is only 40 minutes away. Our daughter was close to home also and we visited often.

And ditto to what mid73 has said about your daughter most likely pleading with you to take her home at some point. Happened to us also. It just means that the ED is being cornered and she may have all sorts of reasons why it is terrible for her to be there and how she will be fine if you just can bring her home. I didn't fall for it.

warmly,

Kali

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scaredmom

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Reply with quote  #7 

hi again,

I took clothes first. As said above no hoodies no pockets, no strings or sharps. i brought her own toiletries ( soaps, shampoo, conditioner, toothbrush- sorry if that sounds obvious- but the soap there was too tiny)
I brought a few sets of clothes and PJs until I knew what she really needed. My D was in 3.5 weeks and I actually bought new bedding to make the bed more like home. They did allow that and her own pillow. 
I actually bought bigger clothes (slightly) and new underwear for her- so that I could get rid of the old clothes at home when she got home. She loves fashion, even when ill she tried to dress up. So having the new clothes made her feel good. 

I played it by ear depending on what she needed/was allowed from home.

No jewelry allowed or school work. I was never sure about that, and still don't understand. She had math homework from school ( a work book) it was taken away. I think they don't want the perfectionistic qualities to come out? 

For us, hospitalization kicked started recovery.It was a blessing as I did not know what or how to do anything at that point.

XXX

Foodsupport_AUS

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Reply with quote  #8 
Fantastic that she has got a bed. We found that when D knew she was being admitted that ED behaviours really ramped up.   Watch closely and insist that she still is eating and monitoring for purging. If she is getting worse take her to Emergency for assessment to see if she needs urgent medical admission. Don't let her ED talk you out of being proactive still. 
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D diagnosed restrictive AN June 2010 age 13.5. Weight restored July 2012. Relapse and now clawing our way back. Treatment: multiple hospitalisations and individual and family therapy.
tina72

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Reply with quote  #9 
Hi yellowcaty,
we also had not much time before IP to prepare, only a few days, so I think although waiting is hard for you it is also good to have some time to prepare things.
With music we also had a cheap mp3 player and if you get one with more GB you can also put some audio books on. That was nice for her to listen to in the evenings because she could not sleep well there.
Is there a phone on station so she can call you?

My d was allowed to bring phone/laptop but they took the phone on 8.30 p.m. away and gave it back after lunch the next day. They did not take the laptop/ipad so we talked about skype if needed or send emails in between. She was also allowed to bring some school work as they had a clinic school there. It was not really much she did there and not important, but it gave her the feeling to be update to school.

We took clothes and some books and some card games. Distraction was a big problem there, so I was glad she had Ipad and some games and sudoku on it. My d was there for 3 months and we were only allowed to visit twice a week which felt like a blame and was horrible, I hope that is not the same in your case. Everybody else (friends, other family members) were allowed to come every day but not parents ;(
If Ipad is not allowed, ask them what you can bring for distraction, maybe you will get some ideas. Ah, I just remember I brought some handwork, too. And she was allowed to bring her guitar. But she did not use it much there. Using the guitar again was something that happened with WR.

I took clothes home to wash everytime we visited and brought back clean ones and changed them secretly against bigger ones by time. And we were also allowed to bring own bed linen. She had a photo of family and friends on her nightstand and we decorated her bed a bit so it looked not so clinic-like.
When your d is there for a longer time I would ask friends and family not all to visit in the first week and then nobody comes to visit any more. Try to manage that a little. And maybe take younger siblings with you when she is allowed to leave the ward for some time because it might be stressful to see all that for them.

Yes, be aware that she might cry and ask you to take her home. Think about that before it happens what you will answer and do then, so you are prepared for that. It is ED who cries to be taken home to start purging again, remember that.

I am so glad that you will get help soon. Try to calm down a bit then and do something nice for yourself and hubby.
I think the most important thing for all is to spread confidence. She should believe that it is no question they will help her stop purging.
I send you a big hug!
Tina72
hopenz

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Reply with quote  #10 
Hurray, yellowcaty, so pleased to hear you finally have a bed!  We didn't have any preparation time before my d was admitted, but it soon became clear to us we'd need lots of 'projects' to keep her busy and distracted.  The most valuable one, probably, was a journal.  We bought her a little notebook to write in, with lots of stickers and pretty felt tips, gel pens etc.  It soon became a 'positivity journal', which she wrote in every day:  helpful things the nurses said to her, little affirmations she came across in cards or messages sent to her from friends, helpful thoughts she came across on pinterest.  It morphed into a diary, where she listed all the board games we played, how many times she won Scrabble and by how much, the names of her favourite nurses, the silly games we played looking out the window to pass the time, the movies we watched on her laptop etc.  For my d, it became a daily ritual and a reminder to find something positive in every difficult day.  I have no idea what role, if any, this diary has to play in the future, but I know it's tucked away in the bottom of her cupboard.  Perhaps something similar might be helpful for your d?  Good luck x
yellowcaty

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Reply with quote  #11 
Hi everyone

Thank you for all your advice. We went out today and bought a journal and have stocked up on lots of comfy clothes. I think I am going to wait to see what the other young people have to listen to music on, before I buy anything. They are so strict with electrical items that I don’t want to get the wrong thing. I can’t decide whether having lots of time to prepare is better or not than none.

After reading the brochure, it seems that It is recommended that we only visit once during the week and once at the weekend. The slots are for one hour. Is this normal?

Although she did put on 0.6kg this week (which is amazing for her), ED is very strong. She told the doctor that she just wants to be left alone this week before she goes in. By left alone, she means to not eat and to be sick whenever she wants. Of course the doctor told her that this could not happen and if anything we need to be firmer this week. I think it will be a long week with lots of resistance.

Yellowcaty
Torie

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Reply with quote  #12 
Quote:
Originally Posted by yellowcaty
I think it will be a long week with lots of resistance.


Well, ED doesn't like being cornered, that's for sure.  But occasionally we see the opposite result where ED is on best behavior in the hopes of changing your mind and letting him stay on in the comfort of your home.  So, time will tell.

I'm so very happy the bed is on the horizon!  I hope the knowledge that help is on the way will help you endure whatever the vile monster throws your way in the meantime.

Did someone mention extension cords? I seem to remember them being discussed here, but can't remember the specifics.  Either they were needed or they weren't allowed (but hopefully not both).

Thinking of you. xx

-Torie

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"We are angels of hope, of healing, and of light. Darkness flees from us." -YP 
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