User’s Guide | Rules | Contact a Moderator | Registration or Login Problems? | Eating Disorders Learning Center | F.E.A.S.T.



Custom Search of F.E.A.S.T. and Forum Content:
Register Latest Topics
 
 
 


Reply
  Author   Comment   Page 7 of 7     «   Prev   4   5   6   7
Torie

Avatar / Picture

Caregiver
Registered:
Posts: 4,923
Reply with quote  #151 
Oh yay!!!  So glad to hear this!  Thanks for letting us know the happy news. xx

-Torie

__________________
"We are angels of hope, of healing, and of light. Darkness flees from us." -YP 
trusttheprocessUSA

Caregiver
Registered:
Posts: 1,466
Reply with quote  #152 
Thanks Torie and I have gotten a PTSD therapist who is doing EMDR with me. It helps.



__________________
Son diagnosed @ 12.5 yrs old with Severe RAN 2/11. Co-morbids - anxiety, Active restriction for 3 months. He stopped eating completely 2x. He needed immediate, aggressive treatment from a provider who specialized in eating disorders, adolescents and males. We got that at Kartini Clinic. WR since 5/11. 2017 getting ready to graduate slipping lost 8lbs. Fighting our way back.
creamlady

Caregiver
Registered:
Posts: 113
Reply with quote  #153 
Hello “trust the process”!
I am having my morning coffee and what pops up on my screen but a post from this forum with your avatar. I have not been on this site for 3-4 years. My daughter went through severe restricting 2010-?? And is now 18. I feel there is a reason that you popped up on my screen.... so much out of the blue. I remember your posts from the hours that I spent on this forum, drawing advice and support during the darkest days of my life. I also have ptsd from this experience and use counseling to help. My daughter is doing well and I have started to loosenthe visegrip that was around my inner being put there by this illness. I wanted to let you know I am touched by your story and am very happy to hear that your son is doing well.
deenl

Moderator
Registered:
Posts: 985
Reply with quote  #154 
Hi trusttheprocess and creamlady,

So glad to hear of the progress and wishing you both continued success as you slowly return to 'normal' life and parenting.

Warm wishes,

D

__________________
2015 12yo son restricting but no body image issues, no fat phobia; lost weight IP! Oct 2015 home, stable but no progress. Medical hosp to kick start recovery Feb 2016. Slowly and cautiously gaining weight at home and seeing signs of our real kid.

May 2017 Hovering around WR. Mood great, mostly. Building up hour by hour at school after 18 months at home. Summer 2017 Happy, first trip away in years, tons of variety in food, stepping back into social life. Sept 2017, back to school full time for the first time in 2 years. Happy and relaxed, just usual non ED hassles. 

  • Swedish proverb: Love me when I least deserve it because that's when I need it most.
  • We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence Recovery, then, is not an act but a habit. Aristotle.
  • If the plan doesn't work, change the plan but never the goal. (but don't give up on the plan too soon, maybe it just needs a tweak or a bit more time and determination [wink] )
  • We cannot control the wind but we can direct the sail.
Kali

Avatar / Picture

Moderator
Registered:
Posts: 906
Reply with quote  #155 
Trusttheprocess,

So happy to hear your son had a successful first semester! It sounds as though you can take a little step back and while still visiting him frequently, let him have more even independence around his food since he has demonstrated that he can do that. Exam times are especially stressful—midterms and finals—so maybe checking in around those times could be a good idea. 

Enjoy your well deserved holidays!

Kali

__________________
Food=Love
iHateED

Avatar / Picture

Caregiver
Registered:
Posts: 640
Reply with quote  #156 
TTP, so glad to read your update.  I don't come on here often because of my own PTSD (3 years later I still have it) and my heart breaks for the newbies.  I'm so glad that you are getting help to deal with your PTSD.  As for your son, just amazing!  Each semester will get a little easier.  I'm really glad he has continued support from his team.

Happy Holidays to the whole TTP family!
Foodsupport_AUS

Avatar / Picture

Lead Moderator
Registered:
Posts: 3,591
Reply with quote  #157 
TTP I am so pleased to hear that your son has done so well. Even better he is engaging in the process which long term is essential in relapse prevention and management. My D struggled a lot with the transition to university. Each year has go easier, and each transition has also. She began a post graduate program this year, and has managed well. Every time they manage a "crisis" themselves they learn a little bit about how they can manage better next time. 
__________________
D diagnosed restrictive AN June 2010 age 13.5. Weight restored July 2012. Relapse and now clawing our way back. Treatment: multiple hospitalisations and individual and family therapy.
Seabird

Avatar / Picture

Caregiver
Registered:
Posts: 221
Reply with quote  #158 
Hello old friends, 

like others I have had some time out, for similar reasons.  I was interested in catching up on this post as I recall Trusttheprocess you were a big support to me.

We don't have the benefit (or challenge?) of local ED expertise here, so our transition out of CAMHS was pretty much "throw them in the deep water".

I.e. no transition plan.   Only "call the adult services if you need to".

We have already been let down by local services so had zero hopes of any special helpful attention from "adult services".

Fortunately in a way, my son has felt extremely fearful of failure/relapse/the big unknown and for that reason has not explored moving to a bigger city to study.

Part of him wanted to "leave home and become independent" but another part of him knew he didn't have the life skills to achieve that.   So he internally came to his decision, to remain living at home with his dad, within walking/biking distance of our regional technical institute, which also offered a financial incentive for local school-leavers to study there.

We have experimented a bit with less food support, but he did lose some weight and quite readily agreed with me when I had a serious talk with him about the implications.

So even though he is now 20, he is developmentally more like 17, only just recently able to take those first steps of choosing his study & career goals.   He knows he will have less anxiety and be able to focus more on his study, by remaining living with his dad and having me giving regular food support and coaching.

I came from a family of super-independent individuals, all of whom left home early and carved our own way successfully.  But it is so clear to me that families should be willing to continue to provide that nurturing nest if that is what is needed, for as long as it takes.   (that goes completely against cultural expectations of the past).  Also financially things are so much tougher for youngsters these days so how would they support themselves anyway?   

The way we are now managing, makes us all feel like we each have some control over the situation, no one person is "in charge" and my son is getting better and better at expressing his needs and being able to work through problems as they come up.

I am so relieved that my son didn't do the "running away" stuff again after he started down the recovery track.    He does know that the one and only attempt at "running away" very nearly cost him his life.   So he does not entirely trust his own judgement if he were to be on his own.  We are his safety net and he appreciates it.

I know I'm lucky to be able to survive financially and continue to support him and still be ok myself.   My relationship didn't survive the ordeal but I've accepted that, and it means I am not torn in different directions.  

I think I'm over the PTSD or at least the worst of it, and that is mainly due to being involved in my son's recovery and seeing it happen.  

Trusttheprocess I'm so relieved and happy for you and your son to hear that this big step has gone so well.     That is a wonderful affirmation of all your hard work and perseverance. 

Sending love & Christmas wishes
Seabird 


__________________
Mother of 20 y.o. male diagnosed at age 16 with RAN, exercise compulsion, anxiety, depression & SH, FBT 4-5 mths to WR, WR now 3 yrs; suicide attempt 4-6 wks after WR,  IP 4 weeks.  Steady progressive recovery over past 3 years including support from psychologist on general wellbeing. Slow steady steps to success!! 

When your last bow is broken and your last arrow spent, then shoot, shoot with your whole heart
 [Zen saying}
eternalhope

Caregiver
Registered:
Posts: 208
Reply with quote  #159 
TTP- what a wonderful update. Thank you for sharing. Gives me hope.
trusttheprocessUSA

Caregiver
Registered:
Posts: 1,466
Reply with quote  #160 
Thank you my fellow warriors. It ain't all roses. He is really growing thru various growing pains, mostly typical but all have my PTSD gripping me. He seems to hit the wall at home. Maybe because he is moving forward and bust at college but home there is so much donw time. He is regretting all those hours spent playing soccer no room for regular high school stuff. Now he feels like he doesn't have good friends, very few invites although he needs to do the inviting too, missed out on stuff being so dedicated to soccer. Everything in life is a trade off hes learning that - its painful. Its much sadness and tears. I hope he can grow through this AND keep eating. 

He's home until Jan 14 and I have no idea what to do with him. I have come up with countless ideas and asked if he wants to come along with us on our errands. He just hangs our in his room sulking. I guess I will just stay close and see if he comes around.........this stuff is hard. Its hard to have this energy in our home - it takes everything down with it, not as far down as this summer- thank god.

__________________
Son diagnosed @ 12.5 yrs old with Severe RAN 2/11. Co-morbids - anxiety, Active restriction for 3 months. He stopped eating completely 2x. He needed immediate, aggressive treatment from a provider who specialized in eating disorders, adolescents and males. We got that at Kartini Clinic. WR since 5/11. 2017 getting ready to graduate slipping lost 8lbs. Fighting our way back.
tina72

Caregiver
Registered:
Posts: 1,124
Reply with quote  #161 
Hi,
to get into social life again seems to be difficult for all of them. That will need time, I think.
But it is not good when he just sits in his room and has nothing to do.
Can you think about something you can ask him to help with? My d loves to do something for us because she still feels guilty. We did some renovation together in the last holidays and she helped me to paper a room and to brush it afterwards. That is something you can see what you have done and it is a good feeling to finish it.
Even if it is not really necessary, maybe you can find some work on the house or in the garden and ask him if he can help you. Fresh air and working with the hands keeps the brain away from bad thoughts...
Tina72
trusttheprocessUSA

Caregiver
Registered:
Posts: 1,466
Reply with quote  #162 
So 3 weeks into winter break and he has gotten his balance back and seems better. My "support staff" tells me he will get stronger and mostly what they hear is success. I guess I'm still having a hard time not worrying about him and seeing him as fragile. This is a journey where knowing the difference between normal young adult angst and brain disorder behavior is hard. One gentle supported step at a time I guess.
__________________
Son diagnosed @ 12.5 yrs old with Severe RAN 2/11. Co-morbids - anxiety, Active restriction for 3 months. He stopped eating completely 2x. He needed immediate, aggressive treatment from a provider who specialized in eating disorders, adolescents and males. We got that at Kartini Clinic. WR since 5/11. 2017 getting ready to graduate slipping lost 8lbs. Fighting our way back.
AUSSIEedfamily

Caregiver
Registered:
Posts: 1,798
Reply with quote  #163 
Dear trusttheprocessUSA,

You have done a fantastic effort with your son and here is lots of cyber support from me!

I kind of get the part about thinking of them as fragile and feeling on edge waiting/looking for the signs of that fragility. Our daughter is now doing so very well and living a great life. Daughter and bf built their own  home 2015 and moved in late that year, then got married in early 2017. My spidey sense antenna is getting ready to start scanning as they are now trying for a child. Pregnancy is a time when ED might try a come back so I will be on watch out for that!!

__________________
ED Dad
Previous Topic | Next Topic
Print
Reply

Quick Navigation:

Easily create a Forum Website with Website Toolbox.

F.E.A.S.T. Families Empowered and Supporting Treatment of Eating Disorders
is a 501(c)3 charitable organization committed to maintaining the Around the Dinner Table forum as a FREE service for any caregiver of a loved-one with an eating disorder.

P.O. Box 1281 | Warrenton, VA 20188 USA

US +1 855-50-FEAST | Canada +1 647-247-1339 | Australia +61 731886675 | UK +443308280031 

This forum is sponsored by F.E.A.S.T., an organization of parents serving parents and caregivers of patients of all ages with anorexia, bulimia, and other eating disorders. Information and advice given on this forum does not necessarily represent the policy or opinion of F.E.A.S.T. or its volunteers and is meant to support, not replace, professional consultation.

F.E.A.S.T. is registered as a nonprofit organization under section 501(c)(3) of the United States Internal Revenue Code.

Terms of Use | Privacy Policy | Community Rules | Forum Rules | F.E.A.S.T. Principles | YMadmin | WTadmin
Custom Search of F.E.A.S.T. and Forum Content: