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teecee

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Reply with quote  #51 
Hi clems
I really do feel for you and know how scary it is dealing with the ‘exorcist’
I ended up ringing 999 last week for an ambulance as I was worried my D was going to fit/have convulsions she was screaming so hard and long. Initially the ambulance control were exactly the same - “why aren’t you calling the police?” Errr...because it’s a medical emergency not a criminal issue! What on Earth can the police do...crikey. The ambulance crew were amazing though and very supportive. If you do feel like you need emergency support I would say ambulance if you can’t present at A&E yourself. Things tend to happen when you present at A&E...in my experience anyway. Attending at A&E got us in with the Crisis Team and immediate support.
A day at a time remember...you are seeing the beast so you are certainly doing something right for your D.
Warmest wishes to you. Virtual hugs coming your way. Xx
clem

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Reply with quote  #52 
Thanks Teecee,

Yes, I am certainly seeing the beast, oh my. I know I am challenging it. Good advice re ambulance. I will remember this and hope never to need it.

I just read 'Throwing Starfish Across the Sea' by Charlotte Bevan and Laura Collins. Awe man, wish I had that from the 'start' (the gut feeling something is not right) one year ago! Very inspirational reading -

Sorry you are in the wars too. Sounds like you did the right thing there.

one day at a time.


Hugs always welcome, back at you. x

__________________
D15, AN. 5' 8" and 46kg. Diagnosed and hospitalised in Sept 2017 for 9 days. At home since in recovery/relapse. In the trenches and tackling FBT.
teecee

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Reply with quote  #53 
Yes hindsight is a great friend but always late! 😁
Stay strong. Xx
Foodsupport_AUS

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Reply with quote  #54 
I have to agree with CAHMS who say she needs to be reviewed to commence medication. It is not at all appropriate for someone to prescribe these sorts of medications over the phone and on second hand advice. As distressed as your D is, I think it is important not to be scared of alienating her or exacerbating her distress by insisting that she see someone for her care including mental health assessment. What can you do to get her an appointment and require her to attend? This may include you and your ex physically moving her. She does not get a choice or a say in this. It sounds as though mentally she is getting close to requiring certification as she is a physical danger to herself.

You are a brave mum doing the best you can. Being a single parent I can really empathise with how hard it is when this is all down to you.  Sending lots of cyber hugs to you. 



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D diagnosed restrictive AN June 2010 age 13.5. Weight restored July 2012. Relapse and now clawing our way back. Treatment: multiple hospitalisations and individual and family therapy.
clem

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Reply with quote  #55 
Yes I agree Foodsupport_AUS. I am going to make an appointment tomorrow to see the lead consultant ASAP. I'll just have to think about how to get D there. She needs to have a review and urgently and I do hope they can see that she needs help in one form or another.

I so much want to re-feed and heal her at home, but it's hopeless at the moment. What I am doing just isn't enough and I do fear for her deeply.

Thank you so much for the kind words too.


x

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D15, AN. 5' 8" and 46kg. Diagnosed and hospitalised in Sept 2017 for 9 days. At home since in recovery/relapse. In the trenches and tackling FBT.
Mamaroo

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Reply with quote  #56 
Hi Clem, sorry you had such a bad day! It really sucks! I hope you get an appointment soon. I told me d if she self harmed or hurt any of us, I would take her to emergency. It helped her to calm down, but I would not hesitate to take her. If your d needs to go inpatient, it is not the end of the world. Plenty of us needed our children to be hospitalised to kick start the fight with ED.

Sending you plenty of hugs!!!! 

__________________
D became obsessed with exercise at age 9. Started eating 'healthy' at age 9.5. Restricting couple of months later. IP for 2 weeks at age 10. Slowly refed for a year and WR at age 11 in March 2017. She is back to her old happy self and can eat anything put in front of her. Now working on intuitive eating.
tina72

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Reply with quote  #57 
Hi clem,
can you ask a family member or a friend to help you get your d there?
Tina72
Kali

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Reply with quote  #58 
Hi Clem,

As far as medication for anxiety goes, are drs in the UK able to prescribe that? They are here in the US. A GP is qualified to prescribe anxiety and depression medication if someone presents with symptoms. If her GP, who she will go to, will prescribe something for her anxiety perhaps you could go that route right now while you are waiting for an appointment with CAMHS? She needs to be evaluated by CAMHS either way but if it is a question of timing and ease (because she will see the GP) perhaps try that?

Quote:
I so much want to re-feed and heal her at home, but it's hopeless at the moment. What I am doing just isn't enough and I do fear for her deeply.


You are right to be reaching out for help. This can be reframed as the eating disorder is very strong right now, not that you are not doing your best and trying or that it is hopeless. Every bit of food that she eats right now can be considered a victory. Be patient and just keep at it. Sometimes residential treatment or hospitalization can jumpstart the process of achieving remission. Violence, self harm, low weight, food refusal and family exhaustion can indicate that a higher level of care is needed and it sounds from what you are saying, that it might be helpful for her.

warmly, 

Kali



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Food=Love
clem

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Reply with quote  #59 
Thanks FEAST family.

Mamaroo "I told me d if she self harmed or hurt any of us, I would take her to emergency. It helped her to calm down, but I would not hesitate to take her."
I did say this to D, it only elevates her anger, last time she spat in my face, told me what an awful mother I am and where to go. I will of course not hesitate, but might instead ring the ambulance to come to us.

Sadly, our GP is not able to issue medication for depression/anxiety, not whilst D is under CAMHS. I have requested an appointment for D to see the Lead Consultant URGENTLY (waiting for a date now) and I have requested an appointment for me to see the full team, if they are going to be on board, they must support me in a way that is going to be effectual. I have been urged by the GP and my Dad to contact child services to at least log current situation and see if they can support me further re medication/IP.

When the appointment for D to see the lead consultant comes around, yes indeed, I will probably need to get some physical help.

I need to relax too, am at my wits end most of the time and spontaneously cry. I did this yesterday at work in a meeting no less! It was my time to talk and I could not find the right word at a certain moment, so I just welled up and burst into tears. Oh Crumbs! They were very understanding and my boss jumped in to finish my sentence (he knows what is going on at home).

You are completely right Kali, "Every bit of food that she eats right now can be considered a victory. Be patient and just keep at it." I am obsessed with how to get more into her, but need to remember she is eating 3 times a days, plus snacks, which is at least balanced throughout the day and does give her some nutrition (1200 cals). So for now, this is something to be mindful of.

soggy hugs today.

__________________
D15, AN. 5' 8" and 46kg. Diagnosed and hospitalised in Sept 2017 for 9 days. At home since in recovery/relapse. In the trenches and tackling FBT.
toothfairy

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Reply with quote  #60 
Hi clem,
My advice would be for you to take CAMHS up on the offer to see you without your D.
Many families have done this where the carer goes to the appointment without the sufferer. If the team is good they may be able to steer you onto the right track.

Re the Dietitian offering to come to your house for a session. I think that is a good idea. They may be able to help her, or at worst see what you are dealing with and guide you from there.

Getting 1200 calories a day is not enough and she will become more ill and entrenched by the day. Can you add butter, cream, canola oil, powdered almonds to the food.

Have you seen the Eva Musby's videos.
Her website is also great and her book too.







__________________
Son,DX with AN, (purging type) in 2015 ,had 4 months immediate inpatient,then FBT at home since. He is now in strong recovery,  and Living life to the full, like a "normal"[biggrin] teen. This is with thanks to ATDT. Hoping to get him into full recovery and remission one day at a time. Getting him to a much higher weight, and with a much higher calorie plan than his clinicians gave him as a target, was instrumental to getting him to the strong recovery that he is in now. Food is the medicine.
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