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mumnz

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Reply with quote  #1 
Hi, my daughter has been in hospital coming on 2 weeks, and is due for release after the weekend. Things are going well with refeeding, but I can see a hard road ahead when she comes home, as is very much still not in the right headspace. I am ready and waiting!!

However - she has a brother who is 11 months older, and frankly he is exhibiting a lot of the same behaviours, and they are very, very close. I am very worried that he may actually be in the same boat. He has had depression in the past and refused help (went to 2 sessions then refused to go back) and seems to have "come right" over the past 10 months. But I can't ignore his refusal to eat at normal times, and insistence on making his own food, being vegan (thanks PETA!) and desire to lose weight despite being a beanpole.

Question: Is it even physically possible to get 2 children through this???
Sotired

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Reply with quote  #2 
Honestly I would ask for your s to be assessed and very quickly.from what I read on here boys can get very entrenched before it's picked up on so it's great that you are being really aware.even if they don't have anorexia it can be that they have inherited the gene for it-you just don't know,so I would err on the side of caution and bring him in for assessment before your ds discharge.
For example I have one that had anorexia but two more that dropped weight unexpectedly over a period of three months.they just require feeding up so I get them weighed every month (was every two weeks with my younger one, is now monthly) and make sure they the weight is going in an upward trajectory.they don't argue,fuss, hide food or shout, they just roll with it.my an d did all of that and more requiring multiple admissions.
My feeling is that I would rather be thought a d$ck and get it checked than be proved one later when it was much worse.the veganism rings alarm bells for me honestly.
Your GP should write you a referral and then you can get your s assessed at the hospital your d is at.
Hope this helps,

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Sotired42
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Reply with quote  #3 
Welcome to the forum. It does sound like you really have your hands full.

Two kids with an ED indeed sounds overwhelming however having one with another undiagnosed is going to be worse. I agree with the others, it sounds a lot like your son needs assessment. Veganism with all of its moral overtones really fits in well with the eating disorder mind set. Not everyone who is vegan has an eating disorder, but many do, and many with eating disorders have toyed with vegetarianism and particularly veganism. The resources you have been linked to are also great.

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D diagnosed restrictive AN June 2010 age 13.5. Weight restored July 2012. Relapse and now clawing our way back. Treatment: multiple hospitalisations and individual and family therapy.
mumnz

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Reply with quote  #4 
Gosh, thanks everyone for replying so fast. I will look up those resources, and the video was really helpful - the hospital seems to ration info, I guess it is because it is so much to absorb in one go. I did not understand that it was physical - ie neural pathways. 

D is 15 and S is 16 - we will be going the FBT pathway starting next week, and I have already told the mental health service that is treating D of my concerns re S, because I was concerned about his impact on D's recovery. He will be included in the meetings, so I am hopeful that they will keep an eye out as well.

What a wonderful site - I am thankful to have found it so early in this process!
iHateED

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Reply with quote  #5 
MUMNZ,  Hi an welcome to the group, though so sorry you need to be here with us.  I hope you find a lot of useful information as you read all over this site.  I have two D's who both had ED's while in high school although not at the same time.  But when the second D got sick, it triggered a small relapse in the older D.   A symptom of the illness is in the need for competition and to be the best anorexic you can be.  Your path ahead won't be easy but you can do it!  You can make your own modifications to FBT if you need to, such as not eating together.  Maybe it would be best for them to eat separately but only time will tell you that.  First things first is to have your S evaluated.  My advice to you is to just focus on one day at a time, don't think too far ahead or it can all get very overwhelming.  Just one step at a time -- You've got this!

mumto3

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Reply with quote  #6 
I got two - 5 years apart.  Get one almost stable and the other goes down hill.  No fun at all.  You can PM me.  Best strategy for me - feed them separately.  I have one who eats really fast to get it over with.  I feed her first and then the other one about 15 minutes later.  Also fed them different snacks that way they couldn't argue over who had a millimeter bigger snack...
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