User’s Guide | Rules | Contact a Moderator | Registration or Login Problems? | Eating Disorders Learning Center | F.E.A.S.T.



Custom Search of F.E.A.S.T. and Forum Content:
Register Latest Topics
 
 
 


Reply
  Author   Comment   Page 2 of 5      Prev   1   2   3   4   5   Next
AUSSIEedfamily

Caregiver
Registered:
Posts: 1,738
Reply with quote  #26 
Dear BattyMatty_UK,

For me now that our D is recovered & I have retired from full time work I have more time to advocate for better services in my home town, in Australia & internationally.

We had our own type of terrible battle with ED and a heap of it was because of bad treatment & as we say here bad treatment is worse than no treatment.

There have been changes in that bad treatment where now families/parents/carers are included & collaborated with as an essential ingredient for recovery. F.E.A.S.T & other Western Australian local F.E.A.S.Ties have had a significant part to play in that change.

One of the positives to come out of our D experiencing her battle with ED, is me getting involved as an advocate for change & improvement & meeting all of the F.E.A.S.T & ATDT family through this forum's online conversations & then those special face to face times!!! Then meeting all the other eating disorder people & even collaborating with some great professors, researchers & clinicians!!



__________________
ED Dad
BattyMatty_UK

Avatar / Picture

Caregiver
Registered:
Posts: 1,358
Reply with quote  #27 
I'm finding it especially tricky at the moment. Rather than go into detail here, here's a link to a blog post I wrote this morning in an attempt to sum it up: https://anorexiaboyrecovery.blogspot.co.uk/2017/04/the-catch-22-situation-of-being-parent.html


__________________
Bev Mattocks, mother of 23-year old male DX with RAN 2009, now recovered. Joined this forum in 2010 - it was a lifesaver.
hopeful_mum

Caregiver
Registered:
Posts: 227
Reply with quote  #28 
Your description in your blog BattyMatty_UK describes the feelings post recovery soooo well. Heres hoping and praying you can find a way out of your catch 22 so that you can continue to help and share your wisdom with the eating disorder community without it being a trigger for your PTSD. Your doing a great job in all that you do for others and in your continued fight to overcome your own demons that youve been left with. I believe in you. You will get there. To the place where you find 'you' again and can once again feel that you fit in the world. Keep striving.
toothfairy

Avatar / Picture

Caregiver
Registered:
Posts: 1,562
Reply with quote  #29 
Hi Batty,
I can relate to E V E R Y  S I N G L E  W O R D, and my journey so far has not been anywhere near as HORRIFIC as yours.

quote
"I just can't deal with bland small-talk about unimportant things in life. Not when I've been through something as hellish and all-consuming as an eating disorder in the family."

Batty- Meet your Sister! I want to scream when I hear bland small talk or trivial problems, " I cant get the right dress" , or "the perfect candle for my dinner party", or the right colour paint for my kitchen... uugghhhhh.....

quote
"I've been reading an article about what not to say to parents of young people with eating disorders. Well, here's what you shouldn't say to parents who are trying to acclimatise themselves in a post-eating-disorder-world and find a meaningful role:

"Cheer up, there are people who are worse off than you"... "Think yourself lucky! Your son recovered!"... "Go out and meet people. Join a club. Or a charity." ... "Go on a relaxing beach holiday" ... "Pull yourself together" ... "Get in touch with your old friends" ... "Stop feeling sorry for yourself" ... "Make yourself do stuff" .... "Do some exercise" ... "Get out in the spring sunshine" ... "You know, sometimes I think you don't want to 'let go' of the eating disorder"... 

Batty- sounds like that is a great article, sums it up nicely.....

Thank God for your Blogs Batty, that I found at the beginning of this nightmare... I will be forever indebted to you.

I hope you find peace, it is no surprise that you are where you are,and how you feel.
I admire you so much for all you have been through and still helped people like me.
You are very strong, I hope you are very proud.  
Lots of Love and Best wishes,
XXXXXXXXXX
TF


__________________
Son,DX with AN, (purging type) in 2015 ,had 4 months immediate inpatient,then FBT at home since. He is now in strong recovery, (Phase 3 ) and Living life to the full, like a "normal"[biggrin] teen. This is with thanks to ATDT. Hoping to get him into full recovery and remission one day at a time. Getting him to a much higher weight, and with a much higher calorie plan than his clinicians gave him as a target, was instrumental to getting him to the strong recovery that he is in now. Food is the medicine.
BattyMatty_UK

Avatar / Picture

Caregiver
Registered:
Posts: 1,358
Reply with quote  #30 
Aaaarrrrrgggghhhh! And aaaarrrrggghhh again! I'm so glad it's not just me, but on the other hand I wish it ***was*** just me and all of you were doing really well and feeling great, dear Hopeful and Tooth.

The Good News is that I am so, so very fortunate to have found a T who really 'gets it' and who also understands EDs. Only downside is that he is private. Today I vented about all of this and he was fantastic. He used to work for the NHS (for CAMHS!!!), but no more.

He says the aim of his therapy is to get me to a place where I don't feel that I can't ever do or read anything about eating disorders for fear of it triggering me, but where I CAN continue with the stuff I was doing before the PTSD, without any triggers - and there are a whole range of different triggers we are gradually working through, but we have got 'stuck' on my anger at CAMHS.

I am so fortunate to have found him. I can highly recommend him for anyone living in Yorkshire.

__________________
Bev Mattocks, mother of 23-year old male DX with RAN 2009, now recovered. Joined this forum in 2010 - it was a lifesaver.
Torie

Avatar / Picture

Caregiver
Registered:
Posts: 4,472
Reply with quote  #31 
Batty, You are very high on my list of heroes.

Compared to most everyone here, I had such an "easy" journey, and still, I'm pretty battered.

So glad you have found a good t.  xx

-Torie

__________________
"We are angels of hope, of healing, and of light. Darkness flees from us." -YP 
EC_Mom

Caregiver
Registered:
Posts: 237
Reply with quote  #32 
Matty, that post is so right on. The world feels like it will never be the same. The vigilance is exhausting, and feels crazy because there is mostly only the past that justifies it, not the present...except I feel like I'm in a horror movie sometimes, the dumb girl who doesn't realize the monster is around the next corner.

I wonder if people feel like this post-cancer or other illnesses. Anyone been through that and able to offer a comparison? Is it so awful with ED because everyone misunderstands who hasn't been through it, and the treatment is often wrongheaded, and the anosognosia makes it so surreal?
toothfairy

Avatar / Picture

Caregiver
Registered:
Posts: 1,562
Reply with quote  #33 
EC_Mom yes! whilst posting earlier I was thinking the exact same.

I have been though lots of family members illness, up to and including death, but never a childhood illness until now, so that already makes it unnatural.

Then the fact that the kid does not want to get better, and fights the person that is caring for them,as the carer is killing themselves trying to get the child into recovery, against all odds.
Of course the stigma does not help, and all the silence around it, and well you know...."the parental blame" still hangs over us....
 
Then the kid is looking well, and we are only half way there....but nobody understands that...

The illness is a 24/7 nursing job that would be done in a hospital setting for any other illness...there is no proper treatment guidelines....except what we find ourselves on a forum.
I think this bizarre illness is so hard to compare........
yep surreal ...
And the truth is.....we now live in the horror that we are 1 meal away from relapse....how is it possible to find peace....

__________________
Son,DX with AN, (purging type) in 2015 ,had 4 months immediate inpatient,then FBT at home since. He is now in strong recovery, (Phase 3 ) and Living life to the full, like a "normal"[biggrin] teen. This is with thanks to ATDT. Hoping to get him into full recovery and remission one day at a time. Getting him to a much higher weight, and with a much higher calorie plan than his clinicians gave him as a target, was instrumental to getting him to the strong recovery that he is in now. Food is the medicine.
FaithKeepsMeGoing

Caregiver
Registered:
Posts: 770
Reply with quote  #34 
EC_Mom, my husband had cancer when my 4 kids were very young - the oldest was 10 and the youngest was 2.  It's probably different when you have a young family, but I remember living in fear with every follow up visit, for years after.  (Nearly 20 years later, he's doing great!)  Both scenarios, also my oldest d who has severe OCD, were incredibly difficult.  You never get desensitized to it.
__________________

The Irish tell the story of a man who arrives at the gates of Heaven and asks to be let in.  St. Peter says, “Of course. Show us your scars.”  But the man replies, “I have no scars.”   St. Peter shakes his head and says, “What a pity. Was there nothing worth fighting for?”

AUSSIEedfamily

Caregiver
Registered:
Posts: 1,738
Reply with quote  #35 
Dear BattyMatty_UK,

Great that you have found a good T.

I suppose I have come out the other side because in the 9 months prior to our D's relapse I had been battling with my own demond of Major Depression with associated panic & anxiety disorders all caused by work & treated under workers compensation. Dont know how close I got to death with this but treatment clinicians believe I was not far from suicide although I had not acually had those thoughts they considered I was very close!

Mid morning 21st of May 2009 I discovered that work I thought others were doing for me was 75% complete was actually only 25% complete despite huge hours by me & I asumed the same level of work by them and they had not told me this and the work was a month over due. When I discovered just how far the work was behind & realised how far behind we were and how much I had to do to fix it my brain shut down & I could not have fought my way out of a wet bag made of tissue paper. Still dont know how I drove home. 1st month at home just slept and when not asleep watched tv including all the soaps even got relief from watching bold & beautiful, did not even drive anywhere did therapy and wife took me to therapy, could not go shopping with wife. Then another two months at home doing therapy and stuff around the home. After 3 months at home gradual return to work 1 day a week for first month then increased each month by 1 day untill finally back at full time work 7 months after collapsing at my desk in May.

Finally signed off from my compo in February of 2010 and got to feeling great & then bang D's relapse arrives in our house and causes huge dramas, disruption, loss and chaos. I was able to just hit my go button and get stuck into finding help and was able to find our special educater Jan Clarke another mother who helped us find our path to recovery!!

Warm & Kind thoughts to you

__________________
ED Dad
BattyMatty_UK

Avatar / Picture

Caregiver
Registered:
Posts: 1,358
Reply with quote  #36 

Gosh, Aussieedfamily, my heart goes out to you - what a struggle! Just how many balls are our brains capable of juggling at once before things snap?!

I can imagine life is pretty hellish for anyone who's been through any kind of sustained 'over and above the call' trauma. The difference with us is, as you say above, that we've been fighting so many things at once: we've been fighting a child who doesn't appear to want to get well, indeed who may wish to end their lives. We've been fighting to keep a round-the-clock suicide watch to make sure they don't.

We may have been fighting poor treatment - or unfair or difficult to access health insurance. Or simply fighting to get our child referred for treatment in the first place.

We may have been fighting to keep our careers afloat and our mortgages paid while struggling with sleepless nights and almost daily emergency phone calls from school as our child throws a wobbly and goes to pieces.

Again. 

We may have been fighting our significant others who may not 'get it' or be actively colluding with the eating disorder.

We may have even found ourselves fighting with the police or security personnel as our child (uncharacteristically) does something crazy and violent.

And of course we may well have been fighting what, on the face of it, appears like PURE CRAZY MADNESS as our intelligent, wonderful, much-loved child transforms into someone who appears to have totally lost the plot and becomes almost feral. A mindset that insists that black is white and where logic goes out the window.

And we may have found ourselves physically fighting our child as they get violent with us.

The chances are we've been fighting a ton of other stuff as well, the most important of which will have been to get our child to eat.

And we've probably been fighting most of it round the clock, day after day, month after month and often year after year, sometimes (God forbid!!!) forever.

It's little wonder we end up a tad frayed round the edges (says she in the Understatement of the Year).


__________________
Bev Mattocks, mother of 23-year old male DX with RAN 2009, now recovered. Joined this forum in 2010 - it was a lifesaver.
melstevUK

Caregiver
Registered:
Posts: 2,540
Reply with quote  #37 
BattyMatty,

I can recommend Dale Carnegie's 'How to stop worrying and start living'.  This book helped me a lot with my 'total worrier' way of living.

Also, possibly a lot of the PTSD is tied up with what might have happened - i.e. your son could have died.

Having had many major ordeals in my life - including buying a flat which had a major outbreak of dry rot and when I spent a week prostrate unable to do anything with worry, and then having my husband diagnosed with a brain tumour when my d was 14 months old, I now take the line that I am strong enough to deal with any situation that life throws at me.  I might not like or enjoy what I have to deal with but I can really count on my own ability to deal with it and the resultant chaos and misery it brings in its wake.

You ARE incredibly strong and talented, your son HAS survived and is doing well - the feelings of extreme anxiety may never leave but having total confidence that you will deal with any adversity may lessen their hold.  

AUSSIEedfamily - that situation with work would have thrown me into a tailspin too.  I was certainly close to a nervous breakdown with my dry rot but my work and income were at least secure.  Nothing threatens my wellbeing than the thought of being penniless.  That is my achilles heel.

__________________
Believe you can and you're halfway there.
Theodore Roosevelt.
BattyMatty_UK

Avatar / Picture

Caregiver
Registered:
Posts: 1,358
Reply with quote  #38 

Thanks, Melstev. I know you've been through a hell of a lot - more than many of us have faced.

The problem with C-PTSD - and this problem is because of the nature of C-PTSD and PTSD - is that part of the brain (the part that still tells us there's a tiger outside the cave) doesn't respond to logic. Meanwhile the logical, rational part of the brain knows that it's all over, long gone and that everything is OK. Yet unfortunately it's not communicating with the 'primeval' part of the brain (lol these aren't scientific terms, but it's the way I'm able to 'get' it). So what my EMDR therapy is doing is getting through to that part... enabling it to process stuff that hasn't been processed i.e. it still thinks the tiger is outside the cave about to eat me although my rational brain says there aren't any tigers in the UK except in zoos, they're not about to eat me and I no longer live in a cave! So, if the EMDR works as it should work, I will no longer get flashbacks that take me 'right back there' and so on.

I know I am strong... we are all strong and especially you, dear Melstev... I know my son has survived and is doing well... but it's a case of letting that 'primeval' part of my brain realise this factual logic so I can get on with life.

If this makes any sense??!!

Having said this, the 'rational' part of me may always worry and so that book you recommend may come in very handy! I will check it out.


__________________
Bev Mattocks, mother of 23-year old male DX with RAN 2009, now recovered. Joined this forum in 2010 - it was a lifesaver.
melstevUK

Caregiver
Registered:
Posts: 2,540
Reply with quote  #39 
I absolutely get it Batty.

It is one of the reasons why I would advocate the immediate use of a benzodiazepine straight after any traumatic experience - a car crash, a sudden death, any event that gives a huge 'shock' to the system.  A lot of people would frown on such an approach but we are still living in an age where people refuse to look at the brain as an organic whole.  If you have any kind of trauma - the brain is immediately hyper-stimulated sending adrenaline and other chemicals racing through the body, and the brain itself has to process everything, not just the person/thought processes.  If you are under an onslaught every day of huge and chronic stress the brain, and I believe what we call the limbic system, are in overdrive.  It is no wonder that trying to manage that process through calm thoughts and acceptance is, for many people, an impossible thing to do.  

I still feel aggrieved that my d was placed under the MHA when she was first taken into hospital, so that an ng tube could be fitted.  The MHO totally rejected my requests for a tranquiliser to be tried first.  And the ng tube was fitted and needed half a dozen nurses to do it with no sedatives being used.  I would not have minded if they had agreed to trying her with diazepam - but they didn't.  And I still am adamant that a medical solution should have been tried first, because she was so ill, malnourished and deep into the fear of eating that her illness was creating.  If it had not helped then I would have accepted the use of the MHA - but they totally ignored my wishes as a parent.  I think I was seen as abusive.

__________________
Believe you can and you're halfway there.
Theodore Roosevelt.
mjkz

Avatar / Picture

Caregiver
Registered:
Posts: 1,264
Reply with quote  #40 
Quote:
but they totally ignored my wishes as a parent.  I think I was seen as abusive.


Been there, got that message a lot.  I think when people looking in from the outside see the lengths we go to, we are seen as crazy parents and abusive but none of them have to live with a kid who has an eating disorder.  I have been called many things in my zealous determination that my daughter not become a statistic. I've been reported to social services.  I was once accused of starving my daughter because she was too smart to be doing this to herself.  UGH!!!

If it helps any, there are safety reasons not to use benzos while putting in a tube.  My daughter aspirated once while getting the tube put in because she was sedated.  It makes it so traumatic for them and seems like needless trauma but the ability to have one be able to swallow to get it into the esophagus is key.
melstevUK

Caregiver
Registered:
Posts: 2,540
Reply with quote  #41 
mjkz,

That is worth knowing.  I thought it was barbaric that they did it with no sedation but what you say makes sense. Thank you.

__________________
Believe you can and you're halfway there.
Theodore Roosevelt.
Sotired

Caregiver
Registered:
Posts: 1,924
Reply with quote  #42 
We fight the fight that is in front of us and tell ourselves that we will deal with the consequences later.later arrives and then we get shocked that there are consequences for us.sore stomachs,not wanting to get out of bed,relying on anti anxiety drugs to help,anti depressants to get through the day.
I have been through some bad stuff before my d got sick,but the difference is I got support for it.not friends and family telling me they would'talk some sense into my d' ,that 'perhaps it was the fact you are always dieting','maybe you were too focused on the other two...'
No one would have blamed me if she had schizophrenia,or insinuated that I didn't know how to look after her.my family did a lot of damage saying all those f this and more,telling professionals how 'broken' I was-but still only wanting to look good by attending meetings with me but never doing the hard stuff.they wanted to be the 'fun' people,while I got the judgment and blame.not just from my d,but from professionals and my own family.so I took my supposedly 'broken' self to all the meetings,did all the damn work,made mistakes,asked for help I didn't get...by the time I joined here I wasn't sure what to expect,I had had so much judgement and been found wanting by so many.
It was lovely to be around people who understood-yes sometimes there was judgement,but at least when I fought my corner,it was met with understanding.that was new and empowering for me.
But I still have scars from it.i always will.you will always have the scars from this battymatty and that's ok.my scars make me more compassionate,more able to reach out and offer support.scars heal,but the skin never looks like it did-and that's something we either learn to live with or mourn forever.
I don't want to mourn forever.when my mother died I was quite young-22-and for four years her illness had dominated our lives.after she died there was a part of me that wondered what my purpose for even existing was-with her death I got set free,but set free for what?did I even matter anymore,without her to give me context for my day?but each day I got up.i went back to work.six months later I had a mini breakdown,but I went to the place she was born and I let myself start healing.
My daughters sickness,her anorexia, was similar in that it was almost all consuming.after the dust settled we have found our way back,but a wise friend said to me to give myself the same amount of time my daughters illness had taken for my own recovery.not to rush,not to just say'all better now' , but to really give myself time.so I have.slowly I am coming back to things I love,people I love.
Re other people's tiny problems-once I had a friend who had been beaten severely by her ex partner.i said to her I didn't want to talk about my problems,they were so insignificant compared to what she had been through.she said 'don't denigrate your problems.this isn't a competition to see who has the worse life.talk to me'.it was a powerful statement,delivered in an ordinary way.maybe people's problems are trivial-but maybe to them they aren't.maybe they are talking about that trivial stuff to hide what's actually going on with them.and hey,maybe they are shallow but how nice that it's a problem we don't need to help solve but can just listen to ,how easy.
We are changed forever,but a life without scars is a life where we didn't invest ourselves in anything.we invested ourselves,we fought for our kids-not all of us win either-but we entered the battle and we earned our scars and now we take however long it takes to heal,with no judgement from ourselves.
Give yourself time to heal.

__________________
Sotired42
AUSSIEedfamily

Caregiver
Registered:
Posts: 1,738
Reply with quote  #43 
I have a naturally strong voice and I have great passion & dedication which unfortunately is often mistaken for anger & agression and at times when I have had to communicate only via written words on a screen I am seen/percieved as some kind of really bad horrible person & a nasty man.

However when those same people spend face to face time with me they get to understand me & I get to understand them. Whenever I post on here I try to remember Charlottes post about words written in english on this forum given the diversity of the types of english from the various nations that post here and even the different types of english here in Aussie land!

Often when our D was very ill & I was endeavouring to advocate on her behalf for better care and treatment, too often my voice and passion were missunderstood and a father was seen as a reason for the ilness & counter productive to recovery!! At times that is still the case so I now try to change so that I am seen as passionate & dedicated and of value rather than being needed to be avoided. Not always successful though some times still I am missunderstood & the messenger is shot & the message is lost!

__________________
ED Dad
BattyMatty_UK

Avatar / Picture

Caregiver
Registered:
Posts: 1,358
Reply with quote  #44 
Gosh, a lot of stuff has been going on here. So tired, you must be *so tired* after writing all that which I read every word. I've read all of your replies every word. Aussieedfamily, I was seen as the 'polar opposite baddie' to you - mum and son. 'Overprotective' and all that rubbish. And of course the standard 'over-anxious'.

Good God, how many of us here have been accused of being 'over anxious' and that our anxiety 'wasn't helpful' to our sons / daughters... That really gets me started, that does. What parents wouldn't be anxious under those circumstances?

Yes good stuff has come out of this experience in that I've met some of the most wonderful parents in the universe, quite a few in person, MelStev included who I've met up with several times. We always have a good chat and Diazapam usually crops up in the conversation i.e. why the heck are they so reluctant to prescribe it? [My GP reluctantly prescribed a very short course of very weak diazapam after Christmas when my PTSD was raging. She said it would be the last ever prescription of the med. No more. Blimey, I've only had it on prescription twice. One wonders why no-one has yet invented a med that has the same immediate calming effect of diaz but which isn't addictive. Ha ha the optician asked me if I was on any medication when I had my eyes tested the other week. I rolled out the 'cocktail' of meds: Citalopran, Trazodone, Amiltryptiline, Proprananol...!]


__________________
Bev Mattocks, mother of 23-year old male DX with RAN 2009, now recovered. Joined this forum in 2010 - it was a lifesaver.
melstevUK

Caregiver
Registered:
Posts: 2,540
Reply with quote  #45 
Great words Sotired:

'We are changed forever,but a life without scars is a life where we didn't invest ourselves in anything.we invested ourselves,we fought for our kids-not all of us win either-but we entered the battle and we earned our scars and now we take however long it takes to heal,with no judgement from ourselves. 
Give yourself time to heal.'
 

We still don't treat ourselves as kindly when we have emotional pain and suffering as much as we do when we are physically ill.  And yet the suffering is as intense if not more so.  Batty, give yourself the time that you need - it is clear that you are unable to rush or force this process, however frustrating it may feel.  If you need pyjama days and hiding from the world, then you need to do it and be as kind to yourself as you would to others.   You had such a long hard fight to get your s on to a recovery path, it really is no surprise that you are still feeling hugely in a state of 'high alert' but also exhausted.  Rest, rest and more rest.   

Hugs. 

__________________
Believe you can and you're halfway there.
Theodore Roosevelt.
mjkz

Avatar / Picture

Caregiver
Registered:
Posts: 1,264
Reply with quote  #46 
Quote:
why the heck are they so reluctant to prescribe it?


Now my ex hubby works in the ER so I truly have seen why they should be reluctant.  People don't think.  Simple firm fact of life.  Most people don't think.  They get something that feels good so more must be better right?  Benzos can be dangerous drugs.  You can't just stop them once you've been on them for awhile.  Well you can but you are asking for seizures.  How many people go on benzos and then drink alcohol?  No amount of alcohol is safe with benzos.  You take one.  Then it doesn't work so you take two and then before you know it, you are doctor shopping because no one is giving you enough to keep you calm anymore.  You get rebound anxiety that leads you to take more meds, etc.  They have a profound effect on memory and cognition that can be cumulative over time.  They are now finding that using benzos can be correlated with dementia later in life.  They can really affect coordination which is not great in older people who fall and break things like hips. 

Case in point:  I took Klonopin at night.  I rarely drive at night but even my little dose would make driving not safe and my judgement poor.  I learned I couldn't drive after backing into a telephone pole that I know jumped behind my car from the side of my driveway.  Just to make sure it didn't happen again, I cut down said telephone pole that night too because I couldn't get my car untangled from the pole.  In the morning I wondered how I could be so stupid but with the Klonopin on board, it seemed like such a wise thing to do.  Cutting down the telephone pole should have been an anxiety producing event but not with my Klonopin on board.  I'm surprised my neighbors didn't report me.  My husband (we were still married at the time) video taped me doing all of this to point out to me the next day why benzos are not a safe medication for anyone.  I still take a prn dose but now I make sure I stay home away from sharp objects and away from anyone who could be video taping any activities that may seem safe and smart while taking said dose.  I don't drink at all but I can easily see how someone could take a dose and drink without thinking through what could happen. 

I kid you not but hubby has had people present to his ER taking 4 different benzos in huge doses that should sedate a small country but they have been on them for over 20 years.  They are addictive and can push someone who is in recovery from any kind of addiction back into using. 

I am still torn about whether people should be on them regularly or not.  I can see both sides.  There are a lot of rules to prescribing but in the end rules don't fix stupid.
BattyMatty_UK

Avatar / Picture

Caregiver
Registered:
Posts: 1,358
Reply with quote  #47 
Yes I can see that some people might misuse them. Me, I only take Trazodone and Amiltryptiline at night-time - they make me sleep like a baby but it can be difficult to come round in the morning, so I am careful about when I take them.

I've been reading through my early posts on this forum and I have no idea how I managed to keep going from day to day. I know it was - and is - the same for most of the parents on this forum. How on earch did we / do we do it?!!

__________________
Bev Mattocks, mother of 23-year old male DX with RAN 2009, now recovered. Joined this forum in 2010 - it was a lifesaver.
melstevUK

Caregiver
Registered:
Posts: 2,540
Reply with quote  #48 
mjkz,

I understand what you are saying and part of the reason diazepam is no longer routinely prescribed is because it was misprescribed in the UK in the 70s when people were on it for months and the dose kept going up, and then there was resentment from people were unable to come off it.

But now we have gone to the other extreme and getting hold of it is virtually impossible because GPs are afraid to prescribe it other than for bereavement.  It is easier to get street drugs than it is prescription medication and that cannot be right either.

Also, there is a big push against the stigma of mental health at the moment - and there is openness about the need to talk.  But there is still stigma around the issue of medication, and the only drugs that GPs can easily and routinely prescribe is ssris - but that may be the totally wrong medication for someone who really needs sleeping tablets or help with some temporary anxiety.

The Scottish government is pushing for people to 'manage their own mental health' - but without any medical backup, so how are they meant to do it?  It would be sensible to allow patients to have up to three short term prescriptions for sleeping tablets and three prescriptions for diazepam or another benzo annually to help people manage their own lives, if they feel they will benefit.  I know I have had periods of high anxiety and difficulty sleeping when a few days of one or other of these drugs has helped.   I am not advocating long term use of either medication but surely adults can make a decision if there are times when they feel it could help.  Prescriptions could still be monitored but there would be some flexibility for GPs and some choice for adults.  These are also drugs approved by the WHO as part of a modern country's stock of medication for use at certain times.  

Some people would never use sleeping tablets or benzos, just as others don't believe in painkillers.  And it would be foolish to hand them out to vulnerable teenagers.  I just hate the fact that I am not allowed to manage my own life in the way I want to manage it.   I can't remember the last time I used either med - maybe a couple of years ago? - but I would like to have that decision myself and not make a GP feel he/she is stepping out of line to prescribe them.

__________________
Believe you can and you're halfway there.
Theodore Roosevelt.
BattyMatty_UK

Avatar / Picture

Caregiver
Registered:
Posts: 1,358
Reply with quote  #49 
People to 'manage their own mental health', hey... Hmn... that sounds a bit like they're washing their hands of any help...
__________________
Bev Mattocks, mother of 23-year old male DX with RAN 2009, now recovered. Joined this forum in 2010 - it was a lifesaver.
DolphinUK

Caregiver
Registered:
Posts: 732
Reply with quote  #50 
Suddenly and without warning symptoms of our past trauma dealing with Anorexia in my daughter for 3 years have hit me full on, like I have had the rug pulled out from under me. Intense feelings of fear, intense anxiety, fast heart, breathlessness, pain in my chest etc etc.... I so get it. I think we all go through this to some degree or another and at different times and it is so hard to cope and I am just starting this phase of recovery and I do see it as part of recovery, a necessary journey we must take at some time. For me it has been 3 years since D recovered and she is doing amazingly well. Now married, she is embarking on a new phase in her life too which I never thought we would see. She is happy and well for which I am so grateful.

Me? well who knows how that will pan out. I am feeling like I want to hide away and have made a "nest" in my study where I can do just that. Most days I have little confidence and feel I am rubbish at my job and at most things. There are good days too, its not all bad, but on the worst days, I struggle to work and function. I want to give everyone going through this a huge hug and just hold them tight and tell them it will be ok and we will get through this, after all, we have done an amazing job so far.!
Hugs to all.
x

__________________
You can never cross the ocean until you have the courage to lose sight of the shore
Christopher Columbus
Previous Topic | Next Topic
Print
Reply

Quick Navigation:

Easily create a Forum Website with Website Toolbox.

F.E.A.S.T. Families Empowered and Supporting Treatment of Eating Disorders
is a 501(c)3 charitable organization committed to maintaining the Around the Dinner Table forum as a FREE service for any caregiver of a loved-one with an eating disorder.

P.O. Box 1281 | Warrenton, VA 20188 USA

US +1 855-50-FEAST | Canada +1 647-247-1339 | Australia +61 731886675 | UK +443308280031 

This forum is sponsored by F.E.A.S.T., an organization of parents serving parents and caregivers of patients of all ages with anorexia, bulimia, and other eating disorders. Information and advice given on this forum does not necessarily represent the policy or opinion of F.E.A.S.T. or its volunteers and is meant to support, not replace, professional consultation.

F.E.A.S.T. is registered as a nonprofit organization under section 501(c)(3) of the United States Internal Revenue Code.

Terms of Use | Privacy Policy | Community Rules | Forum Rules | F.E.A.S.T. Principles | YMadmin | WTadmin
Custom Search of F.E.A.S.T. and Forum Content: