User’s Guide | Rules | Contact a Moderator | Registration or Login Problems? | Eating Disorders Learning Center | F.E.A.S.T.



Custom Search of F.E.A.S.T. and Forum Content:
Register Latest Topics
 
 
 


Reply
  Author   Comment   Page 6 of 6     «   Prev   3   4   5   6
tina72

Caregiver
Registered:
Posts: 222
Reply with quote  #126 
Hi leahkana,
so glad to hear from you and that your d is home again!
To keep it short today: I had problems to find the "new topic" button, too, because there seem to be two ways to login and with one of them you don´t get the new topic botton an the right. Login and then go to the "Eating disorder learning center" at the top and click on "Around the dinner table" again. Then I found that new topic button.
Food with high calories:
Add butter, cream, double cream and canola oil to everything that is smooth: yoghurt, pudding, smoothies, milkshakes. Try not to serve in the plastic cup you bought it in but to serve it in a little plastic cup from your household so you can add something. You must try how many oil you can add without being seen (it will not smell or taste if you use canola oil).
If you add up to 100 ml canola oil to 400 ml fruit and vegetable smoothie you will get 1000 cal just by that drink. Try to serve min. two of them. Drinking seem to be easier than eating.
Be aware that she doesn´t see it. It may make her freak out.
Try to cook everything with sauce. Get cream in every sauce. Try to give her soup every day (for supper for example). You can hide 200 ml cream in every milky soup. Shorten fruits, vegetables and everything with nothing in it. Salat only with salat sauce (with double cream in it).
Use soup plates instead of normal plates, it looks less even if its the same amount.
Try to make her eat as much as you can. She will hate it at first and may scream and whine a lot but she will do that anyway so make it worth that.
Ask as much as you need, we are here for you.
Tina72
mjkz

Avatar / Picture

Caregiver
Registered:
Posts: 1,212
Reply with quote  #127 
Is your daughter home already?  What happened??
leahkana64

Avatar / Picture

Caregiver
Registered:
Posts: 50
Reply with quote  #128 
My dear friends, thanks for your anwsers. Already a week has passed that she is back home, as I read many time, looks like this is the worse period, the re-feeding period. She goes from normal to total insane in seconds, screaming and doing all kind of wierd stuff, hitting herself, saying crazy hurtful stuff and all the big list you know or had experienced first hand everyday. She is eating almost the 3,800 calories, a big task to fill in one day and 6 eating times, for her had been dificult - all her life- to follow rules but she is NOT cooking r near the kitchen while I prepare her meals. thanks to God tomorrow we will se the dietitian and the ED specialist where can guide me better on how to do things right. My husband decided to bail out of the problem and denide any help or coming to therapy with me - I think he is ready to leave us, must because he hate me - but money and the idea of having to divide all he have with me has sotped him for doing this years ago, the sad part is that he choose the worse time to act this way. Thanks to many pills I can sleep now - the best part of the day - and my therapist understand the terrible conditions that I have to overcome trying to save my D .
My D want to take control of everything and that makes her mad, she want to have some kind of menu where she can decide what she like to eat everyday, that is from a list of favorite foods that will be review by the dietitian tomorrow, and then disccus and hope solve in a good manner.
Is also my hope that Dr Tyson will help her calm down and find the support and love she scream everyday she dont have from us!!! After 10 years of helping her is terrible painfull to listen tothose words, and sometimes I left myself to get hurt really bad, still having dificulties separating my D from the ED.
I dont want to think much of the future becuase everyday I wake up I know is the same hell, my husband full of hate, my D sick,confuse and agresive, my son sad and witdraw, and me alone in the middle trying to save her one way or another.
For those who had done this re-feeding at home, has been the same hell? i had lost 22 pounds already, I thnk I will end more skinny than my D, I cant stop that because my body is reacting to the stress creating a hypermetabolict body that is taking away pounds a week. Trying to eat at much as I can. Asking many people to pray for my D, I cant, my soul is so broken that I dont have words for what God already knows and see everyday, hope he can see the bleeding of my soul and maybe, only maybe decide to change the curse of all this situation.hugs to all, God bless you everyday.
Kali

Avatar / Picture

Moderator
Registered:
Posts: 628
Reply with quote  #129 
Hi Leahkana64,

Although things are still very challenging it sounds as though you are making progress. 

Quote:
She is eating almost the 3,800 calories, a big task to fill in one day and 6 eating times, for her had been dificult - all her life- to follow rules but she is NOT cooking r near the kitchen while I prepare her meals. thanks to God tomorrow we will se the dietitian and the ED specialist where can guide me better on how to do things right. 


The important thing is that she is eating. And that you have found help on the ground in the form of professionals. And you have also gotten some sleeping pills to help you through the night.

Quote:
Thanks to many pills I can sleep now - the best part of the day - and my therapist understand the terrible conditions that I have to overcome trying to save my D . 


None of us can promise that the way forward will be easy but we are here to listen and to support you. And I am sorry to hear that your husband is not being helpful right now. But remember, that could change as you move ahead. 

I believe you will be able to help your daughter recover. Just take it one day at a time. If she is eating 3800 calories a day she may be able to gain 2lbs a week, which would be wonderful. We relied strongly on the dietician to help keep my d. on track by encouraging full nutrition. I hope that your daughter's new dr. will also be able to help her. Are you sitting and eating all the meals with her? 

warmly,

Kali

__________________
Food=Love
mjkz

Avatar / Picture

Caregiver
Registered:
Posts: 1,212
Reply with quote  #130 
What was the treatment plan and follow up coming out of the hospital?  Did your daughter actually get discharged or discharge herself? The hospital she was at is supposed to be very good so it would be really discouraging if they sent you home with her without any plans or working with you to help you understand what she needed.
leahkana64

Avatar / Picture

Caregiver
Registered:
Posts: 50
Reply with quote  #131 
THEY GAVE US A SMALL PLAN BUT ALREADY THE TEAM HERE IS WORKING HARD TO HELP HER
leahkana64

Avatar / Picture

Caregiver
Registered:
Posts: 50
Reply with quote  #132 
DEAR FRIENDS , SORRY I HAD NOT BEEN HERE FOR A WHILE, THE TEAM IS WORKING REALLY HARD TO HELP MY D , BUT I NEVER IMAGINE WHAT HELL THIS BECOME THE MOMENT I BRING HER BACK HOME, SHE HAVE HORRIBLE MELTDOWNS WHERE SHE TRIED TO HURT HERSELF HITTING HER HEAD ON WALLS, FLOOR, OR PULLING HER HAIR, SCREAM LIKE THE DEVIL IS INSIDE HER, I ASSUME IS THE SAME FOR ALL OF YOU WHO CHOOSE TO HELP YOUR CHILD KEEPING IT AT HOME, IS TERRIBLE SITUATION, I WAS IMAGINING THAT THE FOOD THAT SHE IS HAVING WILL HELP HER TO THINK AND GET BETTER BUT IM NOT SURE ABOUT THAT NOW, I DONT EVEN SURE THIS WILL END ONE DAY. I HAD LOST 24 POUNDS, NOW I WEIGHT ONLY 112, IS LIKE ALL THIS IS CONSUMING ME AND DON'T EVEN WANT TO STOP IT. IT HAD BEEN DIFFICULT TO GO NO WITH THIS LIFE, ONLY MY SON KEEP ME GOING.
HateEDwithApassion

Avatar / Picture

Caregiver
Registered:
Posts: 314
Reply with quote  #133 

Leahkana64,

I am praying for you right now. You are doing miraculous work to help your daughter.

I know what you mean about having the devil inside her - it can seem that way. She is fighting a battle against a horrible disease and it's strong.

You miss seeing the rational child who you love. She will be back. Your daughter needs you and your son needs you. And if you need to get her back into a place that can take over if you are simply too tired to go on right now, that's ok too. 


__________________
17 yo D. Diagnosed in July 2013. W/R in Sept. 2013 and has remained so. Roller coaster on and off since, mainly with ED under control but co-morbid depression and other negative coping mechanisms making our life hell. Trusting in God for daily strength and wisdom.
Torie

Avatar / Picture

Caregiver
Registered:
Posts: 4,428
Reply with quote  #134 
I'm so sorry about what this vile illness is doing to you and the rest of your family.  Ugh.  So unfair.

It sounds like you are doing a great job with your d - woohoo - so glad to hear she is eating enough to hopefully regain the weight she needs asap.

I'm worried about YOU though.  You also need to regain weight and care for yourself as best you can during this refeeding hell.  Do you have a therapist for YOU?

Hang in there. It really does get better (when it's done getting worse). xx

-Torie

__________________
"We are angels of hope, of healing, and of light. Darkness flees from us." -YP 
EC_Mom

Caregiver
Registered:
Posts: 217
Reply with quote  #135 
So sorry! I've been there, including my own huge weight loss and d's violence. I got myself on the highest dose of antidepressant, and got tranquilizers for myself for before and after feeding. It got me through the worst 6 weeks, after which things got a tiny bit better, and better, and so on. 

You are doing such heroic work, think of yourself as a war hero, fighting your way through the worst of it. We are cheering for you.
toothfairy

Avatar / Picture

Caregiver
Registered:
Posts: 1,438
Reply with quote  #136 
quote "
DEAR FRIENDS , SORRY I HAD NOT BEEN HERE FOR A WHILE, THE TEAM IS WORKING REALLY HARD TO HELP MY D , BUT I NEVER IMAGINE WHAT HELL THIS BECOME THE MOMENT I BRING HER BACK HOME, SHE HAVE HORRIBLE MELTDOWNS WHERE SHE TRIED TO HURT HERSELF HITTING HER HEAD ON WALLS, FLOOR, OR PULLING HER HAIR, SCREAM LIKE THE DEVIL IS INSIDE HER, I ASSUME IS THE SAME FOR ALL OF YOU WHO CHOOSE TO HELP YOUR CHILD KEEPING IT AT HOME, IS TERRIBLE SITUATION, I WAS IMAGINING THAT THE FOOD THAT SHE IS HAVING WILL HELP HER TO THINK AND GET BETTER BUT IM NOT SURE ABOUT THAT NOW, I DONT EVEN SURE THIS WILL END ONE DAY. I HAD LOST 24 POUNDS, NOW I WEIGHT ONLY 112, IS LIKE ALL THIS IS CONSUMING ME AND DON'T EVEN WANT TO STOP IT. IT HAD BEEN DIFFICULT TO GO NO WITH THIS LIFE, ONLY MY SON KEEP ME GOING.





Dear friend Leahkhana64,
I am so very worried about you. I understand that this day is so very difficult. Please can you call a clinician to help you. Please can you call an adult  family member. 
Please call for help. Please

__________________
Son,DX with AN, (purging type) age 13 in October 2015 ,  (4 months immediate inpatient) , Then FBT at home since.and making progress every day. He is now in good recovery, and Living life to the full like a normal teen. We are not completely out of the woods yet, but we can see the light at the end of the tunnel, thanks to ATDT. Hoping to get him into full recovery and remission one day at a time.
toothfairy

Avatar / Picture

Caregiver
Registered:
Posts: 1,438
Reply with quote  #137 
The crisis helpline number to help in times of emotional distress is
1-800-273-8255

Thinking of you from Dublin
X
Carol

__________________
Son,DX with AN, (purging type) age 13 in October 2015 ,  (4 months immediate inpatient) , Then FBT at home since.and making progress every day. He is now in good recovery, and Living life to the full like a normal teen. We are not completely out of the woods yet, but we can see the light at the end of the tunnel, thanks to ATDT. Hoping to get him into full recovery and remission one day at a time.
deenl

Moderator
Registered:
Posts: 831
Reply with quote  #138 
Dear leahkana64,

You sound at the end of your tether. Please reach out to support on the ground to get you through this difficult time.

'Sterkte' (the Dutch literally wish each other strength in tough times)

Warm wishes

D

__________________
2015 12yo son restricting but no body image issues, no fat phobia; lost weight IP! Oct 2015 home, stable but no progress. Medical hosp to kick start recovery Feb 2016. Slowly and cautiously gaining weight at home and seeing signs of our real kid.

May 2017 Hovering around WR. Mood great, mostly. Building up hour by hour at school after 18 months at home. Summer 2017 Happy, first trip away in years, tons of variety in food, stepping back into social life. Sept 2017, back to school full time for the first time in 2 years. Happy and relaxed, just usual non ED hassles. 

  • Swedish proverb: Love me when I least deserve it because that's when I need it most.
  • We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence Recovery, then, is not an act but a habit. Aristotle.
  • If the plan doesn't work, change the plan but never the goal. (but don't give up on the plan too soon, maybe it just needs a tweak or a bit more time and determination [wink] )
  • We cannot control the wind but we can direct the sail.
Kali

Avatar / Picture

Moderator
Registered:
Posts: 628
Reply with quote  #139 
Hi Leahkana,

Sorry to hear that things are so wretched today. I'd like to add my voice to the chorus of caring ATDT parents and encourage you to put in an emergency call as soon as you can to your therapist for your own well being. 

I remember that a week ago you described some things that seemed to be getting better. They can get better again. If your daughter is in so much distress can she go back to the hospital?

Kali

__________________
Food=Love
leahkana64

Avatar / Picture

Caregiver
Registered:
Posts: 50
Reply with quote  #140 
Finally I went to my psyquiatric and therapist and was really helpful. They add more meds for me and is helping, today I cant sleep but is ok, some nights are like that . My D is now eating better, still fighting and getting mad , she is now im 3600 calories a day, not easy taks but trying my best. I have a question, somebody had experienced this:
last week and this week my D decided that she want some extra snack at the end of the day, she eat more than expected and after that she felt in the floor with a horrible pain in one side of her stomach, after crying a lot she said that the only thing she can do was vomit and she did it, after that the pain went away. Today I talk to the dietitian and she told me that she was binging and purging 😱😱😳 that happen to any of you with your child???...thanks again for all the help and support the day aiwas feeling so down❤️❤️❤️
Foodsupport_AUS

Avatar / Picture

Lead Moderator
Registered:
Posts: 3,113
Reply with quote  #141 
It is great that you are seeking help for yourself. This is hard to deal with.

Purging is very common behaviour in eating disorders, and ideally it needs to be stopped.
Binging is the eating of a very large amount of food in a short period of time, you description does not sound like a binge, but it does sound as though your D had some pain related to a very full stomach. 

Fortunately I have not had to deal with either. 

__________________
D diagnosed restrictive AN June 2010 age 13.5. Weight restored July 2012. Relapse and now clawing our way back. Treatment: multiple hospitalisations and individual and family therapy.
toothfairy

Avatar / Picture

Caregiver
Registered:
Posts: 1,438
Reply with quote  #142 
Hi Martha,
I am glad you reached out & got help from your team.
It is extremely important to have regular appointments for yourself with your T and your Psych.

Re the purging, This is a behaviour she had previously? Right? So this needs to be interupted. The extra snack does not sound like a binge.

Given the pain, and her serious stomach issues in ACUTE , I advise you to liase with Dr Tyson ASAP
Best wishes

__________________
Son,DX with AN, (purging type) age 13 in October 2015 ,  (4 months immediate inpatient) , Then FBT at home since.and making progress every day. He is now in good recovery, and Living life to the full like a normal teen. We are not completely out of the woods yet, but we can see the light at the end of the tunnel, thanks to ATDT. Hoping to get him into full recovery and remission one day at a time.
Previous Topic | Next Topic
Print
Reply

Quick Navigation:

Easily create a Forum Website with Website Toolbox.

F.E.A.S.T. Families Empowered and Supporting Treatment of Eating Disorders
is a 501(c)3 charitable organization committed to maintaining the Around the Dinner Table forum as a FREE service for any caregiver of a loved-one with an eating disorder.

P.O. Box 1281 | Warrenton, VA 20188 USA

US +1 855-50-FEAST | Canada +1 647-247-1339 | Australia +61 731886675 | UK +443308280031 

This forum is sponsored by F.E.A.S.T., an organization of parents serving parents and caregivers of patients of all ages with anorexia, bulimia, and other eating disorders. Information and advice given on this forum does not necessarily represent the policy or opinion of F.E.A.S.T. or its volunteers and is meant to support, not replace, professional consultation.

F.E.A.S.T. is registered as a nonprofit organization under section 501(c)(3) of the United States Internal Revenue Code.

Terms of Use | Privacy Policy | Community Rules | Forum Rules | F.E.A.S.T. Principles | YMadmin | WTadmin
Custom Search of F.E.A.S.T. and Forum Content: