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Foodsupport_AUS

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Reply with quote  #51 
So funny needhelp. My D has had similar comments. She always has her snacks with her too, no matter what. 

My D's gold star moment this week was being pleased when I baked banana and choc chip muffins. The bananas had got too ripe so I decided to bake while she was out. She gets home and says "something smells good". When she found out what it was she was pleased, an easy snack to take to school. She had to have one straight away. 


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D diagnosed restrictive AN June 2010 age 13.5. Weight restored July 2012. Relapse and now clawing our way back. Treatment: multiple hospitalisations and individual and family therapy.
scaredmom

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Reply with quote  #52 

Foodsupport,
What a great story! 
I can actually smell those muffins!
MMMMM yummy! 

XXX

scaredmom

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Reply with quote  #53 

4kgc, 
Dancing and solos and smiling out of joy!!  A hug, and a Poster "I heart you!!" . These stories are overwhelmingly powerful and a statement to the commitment, time, energy, effort and the boundless love we have for our loved ones. 

I know that these "kids" did this but really it is your love that made it not just possible but REAL!!

These moments are monumental and every time I read these, I am really touched and I cry happy tears for all of us. 
XOXOXO 

scaredmom

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Reply with quote  #54 


needhelp,
 Having food with her! What can I say? So lovely!

XXX

Torie

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Reply with quote  #55 
Love this thread!

I just want to say that not all gold star moments are as big as many posted here.  Taking one bite more than required, wearing something other than the same old tattered blue hoodie, having a meal where NO food is thrown would all qualify under the circumstances you would expect.  Even "I got through another day" can be huge!

So I hope we can hear from more of the people earlier on in the battle, because your victories belong here, too. (And from more of the folks at every stretch of the journey, of course!) xx

-Torie

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"We are angels of hope, of healing, and of light. Darkness flees from us." -YP 
Torie

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Reply with quote  #56 
Here's my latest:

I overheard my d say to her friend, "I'm SO hungry."

The next day, her friend wasn't there, and my d said, "I'm really hungry."  Then she realized who she had said this to and quickly amended, "I mean, not HUNGRY hungry, just ..."  xx

-Torie

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"We are angels of hope, of healing, and of light. Darkness flees from us." -YP 
needhelp

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Reply with quote  #57 
So much fun to get on this thread and share everybody's joy -- after all - we each truly understand how special these moments are -- and what it has taken to reach them (yes - getting through another day counts!). I think it's fascinating that even though we are from all corners of the world, we so easily comprehend one another's victories (true - defeats too - but not on THIS thread[nono]). Keep celebrating -it makes us all smile!!
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Reply with quote  #58 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Torie
Love this thread!

I just want to say that not all gold star moments are as big as many posted here.  Taking one bite more than required, wearing something other than the same old tattered blue hoodie, having a meal where NO food is thrown would all qualify under the circumstances you would expect.  Even "I got through another day" can be huge!

So I hope we can hear from more of the people earlier on in the battle, because your victories belong here, too. (And from more of the folks at every stretch of the journey, of course!) xx

-Torie


Thank you for this reminder! I could not agree more! In fact, those first small moments were the most important of all, because they gave us the hope to keep on doing this very hard work. 

I would encourage those earlier on, as well, to remember what an up and down battle this is. I desperately needed the hope of those early, small victories....but when (inevitably) there followed a hard day or a revelation of more restricting or some other setback, I would often plunge all the deeper into despair. Looking back, I can see that I was placing the wrong expectations on those victories. Instead of celebrating them as evidence of progress, I was expecting them to mean that 'the worst was over' and it would all be downhill from there. One of the biggest steps forward for me personally (which certainly ended up being incredibly helpful for my D as well, as I was more stable) was when I reached the point where I could celebrate the victories but also look at the downturns as feedback opportunities, readjust, and move on without it feeling like a disaster. Later, when I found this forum, I saw someone describe that same process and remark that it was actually sort of a mantra around here. I wish I'd found this forum earlier in our journey, and I'm so glad for those who have...there is so much good advice and encouragement here!

needhelp

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Reply with quote  #59 
YES! To what everyone has said about these Gold Star moments - they all count - and you are speaking to an audience that can truly appreciate even what may seem to be the tiniest victory - all valid because they move our kids in the right direction, and give us a chance to smile -- and even laugh[rofl]
scaredmom

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Reply with quote  #60 

So we had and incident today and I want to make this positive. 

I am redecorating our living room and I wish to get rid of the piano. D came with me to look at fabrics and colours today D knows the plans for the piano. She came up to me just before lunch and told me "mom, I am scared to tell you something, please don't be mad." Well my anxiety went through the roof... then she said that she had dumped food in the piano bench many months ago, in the summer, well before WR. Well there is mold and yuck in the bench and the bench may not be salvageable, but I don't care at all. I really don't. 

So I tried to reassure her that, that was when she was sick and I am not mad at her. I told her she was so brave to tell me and that was a long time ago when ED was being mean to her. She felt badly, I told her it was ok. I have asked if there is anymore stuff I need to find She says no. I will still look to ensure my D is safe.
 
I am labeling it a gold star moment, as it showed me that she knows that she can be honest with me, she knows that she is safe  with me and that she can "tell on ED" and not feel badly. It shows me her maturity. With ED there was no way she would have told me. So it is a good day, a gold day.

Thinking of all of you and  where you may be in the stages of this illness and how it really throws us for a loop and a half all the time.
Remember all victories deserve gold stars no matter how small you may think they are. 

XXX

 

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