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Kali

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Reply with quote  #51 
Hi Mec,

This sounds very difficult however is it possible that you and she could see a nutritionist who could use the fact that if she wants to continue to BF to encourage her to eat more so that she will be healthy enough? The nutritionist could point out that she needs to take good care of herself and give her a "breastfeeding meal plan" with enough food since one does need to eat more than usual while breastfeeding. That way you could also not have to stress as much about it because there would be another voice in the mix.

I have to admit breastfeeding seemed easy and convenient (and free) although I remember introducing foods at 6 months, not a year, first mushed up banana and then some mushy cereals. I believe that is still the recommendation right? So, not sure of this but do you think that waiting until the baby is a year old to introduce food might be an eating disordered thought? Perhaps a nutritionist could help with that also and make sure that your d. is following nutritional guidelines for the baby as she moves forward? I BF'ed for 18 months for each kid but of course it became less and less as more and more real food and other liquids took its place so it was a gradual tapering off.

Congrats on being a grandma!

Kali




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mec

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Reply with quote  #52 
Yes, I have definitively thought about the nutritionist and will propose it to my daughter. I don't think she would want me involved in the process, though.

Ped is OK for baby to wait until 1 year, but not any longer than that. Dd is very stubborn and will not do what she is told. She is ALL about her gut feelings and says that she knows her baby best. Baby will likely need SLT for eating as she has a bubble palate ( a very high palate so that the tongue doesn't touch the roof of her mouth) and tongue tie. Even a pacifier gives her a lot of gag reflex. It is actually amazing how incredibly resourceful she has been at feeding herself as her latch is quite bad. She has SIX teeth already. Got the bottom 2 at 4 months, the canines at 6 months and the top 2 at 7 months. So, anatomically she will be ready to eat soon. But, her tongue trust shows that this will be a difficult process for her. She's a very smart baby and is already noticing what we eat and grabbing it to put it in her mouth. We will see what happens when she turns one.

Beyond nursing baby, DD pumps milk about 4 times a day. The lactation consultant told her NOT to do that, but she refuses to listen. She has gotten it in her head that if she doesn't pump her milk supply will do go down. The CLC told her that this is because her milk is adjusting to baby's needs. But, she knows best.... SMH. She is going to donate hundreds of oz of milk to the local NICU as we have ran out of space. We have two stand alone freezers full of milk. This IS part of her mental illness and distorted reality. Meanwhile, her body is being depleted from baby nursing and her pumping.

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21 year old daughter who was DX with RAN at 9 years old. The work of recovery is ongoing. 
tina72

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Reply with quote  #53 
"Beyond nursing baby, DD pumps milk about 4 times a day. The lactation consultant told her NOT to do that, but she refuses to listen. She has gotten it in her head that if she doesn't pump her milk supply will do go down. The CLC told her that this is because her milk is adjusting to baby's needs. But, she knows best.... SMH. She is going to donate hundreds of oz of milk to the local NICU as we have ran out of space. We have two stand alone freezers full of milk. This IS part of her mental illness and distorted reality. Meanwhile, her body is being depleted from baby nursing and her pumping."

I really think she is doing that like over-exercising, as an AN behaviour. It is really possible that she is not able to stop that when the baby is one year old. That seems to be no normal behaviour and her lactation consultant is right that milk is adjusting to babys needs.
Doesn´t she think about what it is doing to her breasts? Do you think she is using it as a variety of self-harm (I know pumping is not that nice)?
Feeding her baby is one thing and that is her decision, but filling the freezer with milk nobody needs is not her decision any more, it is ED´s to keep her thin I think.

Anybody else here an idea how to stop that?
Tina72
melstevUK

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Reply with quote  #54 
mec,

I am sorry for all that you are going through, particularly the stroke.  A baby is still a miracle and this baby is being loved to the moon and back so that is so important so please see that you are doing all that needs to be done in respect of this precious little person.

With regard to your d and all her ed/mental health issues - I am going to say, just keep loving and supporting her because she is still YOUNG!  The brain goes on developing right into the twenties and I would stop worrying about your d, just keep loving and encouraging her and trying to do whatever works - because she is still in adolescence and the transition to adulthood.  

I can only say that my own d was still very ill with ed at the age of 20 but that now, at the age of 26, she is recovered and MATURE.  She is now unhappy that her weight is higher than she would like (I told her, welcome to the world of most normal women who have anxiety about their figures), she still suffers from depression and has to understand that she may need an ssri at times but that is her responsibility to manage not mine.

You did great guns with getting your d weight restored and healthy, in spite of the other adhd type aspects - and maybe she is bipolar - but she will learn to manage that, with your support.

I know that I was on my own as a working mother with my own d - and I had a book on childcare which I referred to all the time (I had no mum or mum in law nearby to help) and if I look back, I can see that I concentrated so hard on getting to her to eat fruit and veg that I never gave calories a thought.  I feel as if I got everything wrong when I was young but I had my husband who was dying of a brain tumour at the same time, and who was not able to support me in getting her to eat more.   Everything went wrong with her eating.

So I can understand your d and her insistence on doing things in a certain way - as mothers we feel we have to do things the way we think is right, no matter what anyone else says.
 
I understand what you are saying with regard to baby's difficulties - the only thing that gives me cause for concern is why d would want to wait until she was a year to start feeding baby solids.  

I suppose the other thing which concerns me is that d is presumably off all medication for any medical condition because of wanting to breast feed?  Would she allow baby to move on to formula so that she can get back on to her meds?

These are difficult choices.

I understand why you have come back - we understand that this ed journey is never straightfoward as we think.

All I can repeat is that your d is still young - if you can stay the course and express confidence (when inside you may be quaking) that things will get better, they will.

Hugs.  There is still a wonderful little person who has arrived in the world and that is still a miracle and something to be joyful about.

We can all celebrate that here!



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mec

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Reply with quote  #55 
Quote:
Originally Posted by tina72

I really think she is doing that like over-exercising, as an AN behaviour. It is really possible that she is not able to stop that when the baby is one year old. That seems to be no normal behaviour and her lactation consultant is right that milk is adjusting to babys needs.
Doesn´t she think about what it is doing to her breasts? Do you think she is using it as a variety of self-harm (I know pumping is not that nice)? Tina72 


One mistake we made from the time that DD was DX at 9 until she left home at 18 was to assume that every behavior was about ED or ADHD (which was a misdiagnosis). We missed SO many obvious red flags of serious problems. My DD was truly w/r - back on the 86% tile - where she had tracked as a toddler and young child, as long as she lived with us. Yet, there were so many anxiety attacks, panic episodes, depression, angry explosions, mood swings which we and her mental health team assumed where caused by ADHD. All this to say, I don't make that mistake anymore and I have learned to tease what's what.

No, her nursing habits are not driven by ED. They are driven by obsessiveness, anxiety, by a distorted view of reality and by fear. Nursing baby is the one thing that she feels she and only she can do. Literally, for the first 8 weeks, she had PPA so severe that I had to care for her baby. She was incapable of holding baby without falling apart. But, she could nurse baby. She still has PPA badly, which makes sense because she's always had GAD. Nursing is the way she bonds with baby. Baby sleeps in bed with her and nurses on demand whenever she wants to. Nursing is part of her enmeshment with baby. Her paranoia is that her milk will dry up and she wont be able to nourish her baby. That's what drives this insanity about pumping to keep milk supply up. She's had several other anxiety driven obsessions about baby. She has a very understanding Ped, who communicates with me about issues. The milk drying up is her latest obsession. Nursing is also staking her custody position with baby. Not knowing how her father would react, we went to court and asked for sole custody. She got it. A nursing baby with multiple food intolerance was part of the compelling argument that was prepared in case he challenged the custody. He didn't but that doesn't mean he won't in the future. Nursing baby is part of her trying to hang on to having that sole custody last as long as possible.

Not feeding baby until 1 year old is supported by her Holistic Pediatrician [There are a few of those in the USA]. Ped says you can start foods any time after 6 months. She is also supported by the community with which she surrounds herself: Milky Mamas, La Leche League, Holistic Moms, BLW (baby led weaning), etc. In this community it is normal to exclusively Breast Feed (EBF) until a year. Some even go to 18 months. Even after foods are introduced many women in these groups BF their babies until they are 3 years old. It is also normal to co-sleep, to wear your baby and to do everything as naturally as possible. These communities are poisonous to someone with an ED because they prey on SO many fears about bad, toxic and unnecessary foods. Dd will never give baby formula as long as she has other options. That is part of why she has months of frozen milk in the freezer, JIC her milk were to dry up or she had to stop BF because of medication for illness. 

She was on meds during PG but stopped once baby came out. In reality, as bad as things have been in the past, she is doing quite well with the bipolar disorder. She is staying pretty stable and steady in terms of depression vs mania. However, she has SO much anxiety and obviously, her filter is distorted. The problem is that she IS so bright and articulate that she presents herself as totally in control with her mental health team, so they are not picking up on what is REALLY going on at home. I am hoping that at her next visit with the Psychiatrist she will express alarm at the weight loss. She was already concerned when dd was 15 - 20 lbs heavier. Sigh...  My psychologist knows my DD well. She wants me to find a way to get in to see her team to express what's really going on behind the scenes. I will not go behind her back. Every single time I did that, it backfired. I need my young adult D to trust me. The well being of my grand baby depends on that trust.

Melstev, thank you, thank you, thank you for your words of encouragement and for affirming my freedom to love my child and love, care and nurture my grand baby without the burden of having to step in and control her mental health care.

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21 year old daughter who was DX with RAN at 9 years old. The work of recovery is ongoing. 
mjkz

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Reply with quote  #56 
Mec, good to see you back and sorry things are so crazy.  I honestly think at this point you have to step back and only intervene if you see her doing something dangerous to her child.  You and your husband do need to keep her trust so that when her thinking gets so distorted,  you can be a reality check and ensure the child's safety.  I have a friend who breast fed her kid until she was 4 years old (no, I'm not kidding).  There are no hard and fast answers as you have found out.  Any kind of delusion out there can find a community to support it.  Trying times and more ahead I would guess.  congrats by the way!!!
mec

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Reply with quote  #57 
Quote:
Originally Posted by mjkz
  Any kind of delusion out there can find a community to support it. 

Yesssss! The Internet has really made this so much worse! You don't have to leave your house to be connected to a bunch of people who agree with your distorted view of reality.

I honestly can’t imagine that she would ever do anything harmful to her baby. She loves that precious baby SO much and has endless patience with her. Literally, DH and I are amazed at how patient she is when baby fusses or cries. DD has never gotten angry or frustrated. She’s cried and felt helpless and frustrated at herself but never at baby. She’s a strong willed baby like her momma. She is going to be a drone parent as she hovers over baby non stop. But, baby’s meeting all milestones and is ahead in language skills so all of my developmental theory is counteracted by DD because of baby’s skills. DH and I hope that baby will start pushing back against Mom’s smothering and she’s already doing that. As soon as she seems me she throws herself at me and wants me to be with her all of the time!

I think D is misguidedly pouring all of her into that baby to her detriment. I did tell her she needed to eat enough or she would have osteoporosis as a young woman and not be able to do everything she needs to do for baby.

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21 year old daughter who was DX with RAN at 9 years old. The work of recovery is ongoing. 
iHateED

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Reply with quote  #58 
Hi MEC,  I don't come on here often anymore but I am glad I did today!  So happy to hear that you have a granddaughter in your home.  I am sure it fills your house with so much love!  I am also sorry for your own health issues.  You are doing an amazing job -- Keep on loving and supporting your daughter.
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Reply with quote  #59 
Hi I hate ED how’s your daughter? Don’t we both have 21 year old girls?
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21 year old daughter who was DX with RAN at 9 years old. The work of recovery is ongoing. 
iHateED

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Reply with quote  #60 
Mec,  yes, my younger D (who suffered more than my older D who is now 23) is almost 21 and a junior in college.  Her junior and senior year in high school were h*ll for all of us but now she is doing great and living an ed free life.  She has other anxiety problems but has no problems with any foods (even is back to hamburgers and bacon and ice cream!).   Almost as hard as the two years of fighting the ed for me has been the PTSD this awful illness leaves in its wake.  I was on such high alert for any signs or symptoms that ed was coming back.   It was very debilitating for the first year she was in college but it's been getting better as time goes on.  The other hardest part for me was finding new interests for me.  For 2 years I did nothing but think about ed and feed my daughter.  This illness becomes so all-consuming that it's hard to let it go.  Thanks for thinking of me and enjoy your grandbaby!
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Reply with quote  #61 
mec,

Maybe a gentle word with your d that we all start out wanting to be the 'perfect' mother and that your d is an utterly amazing mother, but that mothers still need to think of their own needs as well.   I am so glad that your d is totally dedicated to her own child and with all the support she is getting from you and h, she sounds to be doing really well.  Does she do anything outside thinking of and being with the baby at the moment?  The next step in staying well would be ensuring that she understands that it is ok to have some time to herself while others, like grandma for example, care for her.  The anxiety, for me, would appear to be linked to the perfectionist aspect of her personality which as I remember, made her a great competitive swimmer.  Often we have to learn and actively fight those perfectionist tendencies, which will always surface throughout our lives if we are that way inclined.  

Hugs, this child seems to have 'anchored' everyone and given a focus of joy into all your lives.  

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HateEDwithApassion

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Reply with quote  #62 
Mec,
You were one of the mamas I virtually bonded with when I first came here 5 years ago. My D - who is now 19 and still suffering - was a big athlete too, driven, similar behaviors etc. I remember when she moved away and followed your story whenever you came back here and shared. So glad you've come back here now for love and support.

1. Mental illness sucks. Totally agree. 2. You are great parents. You've been through the war and you are still there for your D and she is so so so blessed to have you. 3. Good things often come out of bad things - having a grandbaby! What joy. Who knows how this baby may lead your D to recovery at some point. Like others have said, she's still so young. It seems like many on this site find recovery finally begins to stick at 24, 25, 26. That's still a ways off, so darn - but hopefully a gradual change as she puts another little life before hers. 

I have no advice, but all the love in the world for your family. Would love the privilege of being your support now as you enter this new phase of this illness. Take care of yourself, Mec, and enjoy the gift of that little baby. Your family will be in my prayers. 

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19 yo D. AN - since about 15 years old. WR quickly - but the last four years have been tough. Since Sept. 2017, two residential stays, now in IOP, fighting a relapse. ED is hanging on, mental state not great, can't get her to remain at a weight long enough or high enough to see mental healing. She's on a gap year that will likely now turn into two.
mec

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Reply with quote  #63 
Melstev,

Yes, you are right about the perfectionism. She wants to be the perfect mother and is distraught if she feels that she's done something wrong.

Hi, IHEWAP, it's so good to connect again. I am sorry that your 19 yo DD is still struggling. It is tough.

Well, this may not be ED carer advice that anyone needs to follow. But, I decided if I can't beat the beast I might as well use it to help DD. Since grains are evil and make her sick, foggy brain, etc. I ordered all kinds of Keto, Paleo, AIP flours: garbanzo, tiger nut, cassava, almond, sweet potato, etc. She made herself garbanzo flour snickerdoodles last night and almond pancakes today. We will see if these new foods will help in getting more calories in her. I know that it feeds the illness blah blah blah. I don't care right now what it does. All I know if she needs enough calories to support her and baby's nursing. If sweet potato and almond flour will get her there, so be it.

Thank you friends for your support.

mec

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21 year old daughter who was DX with RAN at 9 years old. The work of recovery is ongoing. 
mec

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Reply with quote  #64 
The new food items have helped a lot with increasing caloric intake. 

We also had a good discussion about her eating restrictions. I set a boundary where I won't hold baby while she pumps. I won't collude with an activity, which the CLC has said is unnecessary, and which comes from a distorted view of reality. We had a heated argument where DD said that I will never stop seeing her as the anorexic 9 year old. I was able to ask questions. I said "do you know what motivates your restrictions?". She said fear was a big factor. She has had allergic reactions to a couple of foods which have created angioedema in her tongue and which have made her throat want to close up. I have witnessed these reactions and suffer from the exact same thing (as does my sister and a cousin). Anyway, I explained that I understood that fear and that I had lived it and went down to 120 lbs on a large body frame. I understand the paranoia that sets in when you have scary allergic reactions.

She has been avoiding those foods and entire families of foods. She follows the AIP diet (Auto Immune Protocol) on her own. Her Ped said its not recommended to be on ANY diet while nursing. I told her that I noticed that even with the safe foods, she was still restricting the amounts she ate. Would she agree that she was not eating enough calories every day, especially to sustain nursing and pumping? She agreed and said that when she is stressed out and has anxiety she can't eat because her stomach feels like its in knots all of the time. She has good reason to be stressed because of her estranged marriage and husband, who has mental illness and is a jerk.

I do believe and think that what's going on right now is more ARFID than anorexia. It's all ED and the treatment is the same: FOOD. But, understanding that it's anxiety driven has really helped both of us. I  have been more involved but less anxious as I support her eating gently. I help her with cooking and come alongside to hold baby when it's time to eat. I think my stress level going down has helped her eat more. Even if I don't say anything, I think my concern over her not eating enough or seeing her size 7 Jr pants hanging from her, oozed out of me and she picked up on it making things more stressful.

So, overall, I think we are making slow progress in the right direction. 

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21 year old daughter who was DX with RAN at 9 years old. The work of recovery is ongoing. 
Torie

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Reply with quote  #65 
Sounds like you are making progress with this latest manifestation of ED.  I'm so glad you are able to have these conversations with you d - she is so lucky to have you.  xx

-Torie

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tina72

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Reply with quote  #66 
Hi mec,
that sounds very good. If you can talk to her that way you can help her questioning her behaviour and she can see what is really needed and what not.
To help her calm down and have less stress will help her to eat more and than you have less stress, too, so a win-win situation. And great that you set boundaries to help her not to pump that much.
Can she take some meds against anxiety that are not harmful for the baby? Some bach flowers eventually?
Tina72
mec

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Reply with quote  #67 
Tina,
Unfortunately, my not holding baby doesn’t change how many times she pumps. It just makes it more difficult for her. This is more about ME setting boundaries so I’m not colluding with something that I see as harmful to her body.
She has Bach flowers but doesn’t like to take them unless she feels like she about to have a manic episode. Don’t ask me why she won’t take them as preventive, because I don’t know and she won’t say.

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21 year old daughter who was DX with RAN at 9 years old. The work of recovery is ongoing. 
tina72

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Reply with quote  #68 
Sorry to hear that, but I think it is right that you do not collude with that for your own sanity.
It´s a pity that she does not try the bach flowers against anxiety, some people have great progress with that.
Maybe there will be a better time to try to ask again.
You are a lovely mum. I hope I will be a grandmother some time, too. My d doesn´t like children at the moment but she is only 18 and I hope this will change in the next decade.
Tina72
melstevUK

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Reply with quote  #69 
mec,

It sounds as if there has been a big shift in the relationship between you and d - and you are able to speak about anxieties and are making progress.  It's a moving picture and parents/carers often have to be flexible and find what works at any particular time.  
I am so glad your own anxiety has gone down a bit.  

I can understand her having fears about eating certain foods which provoke such a scary reaction.  I would feel exactly the same.  

You are doing what works -that is the best intervention possible.  Hugs to you all. 

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mec

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Reply with quote  #70 
Dd met with her psychologist yesterday. She is not an ED specialist but has dealt with ED patients before. Dd surprised me by asking me to come talk to her T since I had some concerns. I saw it as a MARVELOUS opportunity to express my observations and concerns about DD. I actually walked into a trap. 

Bottom line, T said to DD "you look fantastic (she's probably a size 5 Jr after having worn, since she was 17, a size 4-6 W clothing. She told me that Americans are so overweight and it is a HUGE problem in our society, so DD is at a perfect weight and size for her. She said ideally you want to be between 22-25% body fat and eye balling dd she guessed she was at 23. She checked her nails and eyes and said they were both healthy and the fact that she was producing breast milk meant that she was getting enough nutrition for her body to function well. Dd had also filled the T's head with complaints about how I made her fat as a child and teen and fed her junk. If you have seen pictures of my DD, you know that she was an athletic and muscular girl, under society's scrutinizing definition of what people look like. 

One good advice was for DD to see a GP to get a full work up as a post partum baseline. She said for DD to have goals for her body and her health after she stopped nursing. She mentioned several times nursing until baby was 1 because she and the psychiatrist would like for DD to go back on medication. 

My arguments:
  • She always tracked in the 80% of weight until she got RAN. A: It doesn't matter because that was before pre-puberty.
  • Her mental state always goes down when she doesn't eat enough. A from DD: My mental health goes down because of stress and anxiety and I don't feel like eating when I am stressed. T:it's hard to know which one comes first the stress or not eating. 
  • So, basically, you are saying that your sign that she's not eating enough will be when her hair is falling out, her nails are damaged and her eyes are jaundiced?  Wouldn't that be a state of serious malnutrition? A from T: Right now her body is getting what it needs to function well.

She then talked about how I need to not have a relationship with DD where her eating makes me happy and relaxed and her not eating makes me worried and upset. DD said I didn't say anything but she could tell that I was worried. T told DD she does the SAME thing with her baby, which she does. She wants her 8 month old baby to nurse every 2 hours and worries when she doesn't. 

She told DD she needed to learn to assess herself and use her skills to know if she is truly NOT hungry or truly FULL or if the anxiety is causing her to feel these things. PS: DD did an outpatient program with this group last year. 

So, shut the front door! DD got permission from her T to restrict (T said not to see it as restriction), to not eat any more than what she's eating, to not aim to regain any of the weight that she has lost through restriction, and has her T's support and agreement that her Dad and I need to completely back away from her eating and food.

Well, I am pi**ed but at the same time feel as if I've been given a ticket to freedom. Last night, after the apt, I went to one of those cheap-millions-of-junk-piled-everywhere stores and stayed there for 2 hours. I didn't cook supper for anyone. When I came home, DD had cooked for the family. I don't know what or if she has eaten since last night and I honestly don't want to know or care anymore. 

I HOPE her misguided T is right and that she will be OK. But, if she's not, DD will have to get in serious trouble before they notice that I was right in my concerns. For now, I will take care of me and continue loving and supporting baby. I feel that I must detach emotionally from DD. I need to let DD figure herself out or let her hit rock bottom.

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21 year old daughter who was DX with RAN at 9 years old. The work of recovery is ongoing. 
scaredmom

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Reply with quote  #71 
hi mec,
I am sorry that the T said what she did.- how disheartening. You know the truth. I support you taking care of YOU and loving that precious child.
Standing with you!
XXX
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Reply with quote  #72 
WOW, that's just awful! Can't believe a therapist would say that, no wait, I can. Many GPs told my d her weight was just fine while she lived on a muffin a day and sunshine. I hate it when people blame parents for being concerned. Good on you for taking time for yourself, you have been giving so much of yourself all these years. Sending you plenty of hugs!!!!!
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D became obsessed with exercise at age 9. Started eating 'healthy' at age 9.5. Restricting couple of months later. IP for 2 weeks at age 10. Slowly refed for a year and WR at age 11 in March 2017. She is back to her old happy self and can eat anything put in front of her. Now working on intuitive eating.
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Reply with quote  #73 
I see I have been wrong in telling everyone bad help is worse than no help at all - clearly it is MUCH WORSE than no help.

Ugh ugh ugh.  There are no words.  At least, no printable ones.  xx

Torie

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mec

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Reply with quote  #74 
It’s complicated. DD went to IOP at the hospital last year when she was PG. She was eating well because of PG and was at a great weight. She wasn’t there for ED but for bipolar disorder, PTSD and anxiety. She did fantastic at the program and learned helpful skills to deal with bipolar disorder and anxiety. The team recommended she leave her abusive and toxic husband and come live with us. Her psychologist, who’s part of the program, is very good in those areas but clearly either old school or unprepared in ED.

The good news is that I’ve really been able to let go of worrying about DD. We had a conversation where DD mentioned how much calmer I was and that she felt leas stress knowing that I wasn’t worrying about whether she was anorexic. I said (much to DD’s shock) that I disagreed with T re. her assessment of her eating and weight and reminded her that T didn’t say anything about her mental state. She talked about breast milk, looks, nails, hair, eyes and skin, but not a word about whether she was struggling with an ED or not. However, I was choosing to step back and let her take responsibility. So far, she’s doing it. Today, she felt pretty desperate trying to juggle a teething baby in her arms and meal prep for tomorrow so I offered to help her. She gave a big sigh of relief and said “PLEASE”! So, I’m hoping not having Mom always helping feed her will make her grow up.

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21 year old daughter who was DX with RAN at 9 years old. The work of recovery is ongoing. 
melstevUK

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Reply with quote  #75 
I am so glad that things are back on more of an even keel again after that horrendous appointment with the t.

Often straight talking is effective and telling d that you didn't agree with the t about what she said about d's weight and eating clearly hit home.

I am glad that you have been able to relax and step back - d knows she has to keep herself well to be a good mother and she will start to be in tune with herself on all levels over the next few years as she grows up.

I am still reeling from the shock of the t saying that d was feeding baby every two hours in response to your concerns about d needing to eat regularly!  What a lot of nonsense!

I confess to being puzzled that feeding the baby still needs to be fed two hourly but I am sure d has her reasons for it. 

If d needs to ask for your help rather than you offering it - she will start to realise very quickly just how much you do for her and will be more appreciative!  

There is such a lot of learning for you all going on, and with so much love around, you cannot fail to make progress.  

 



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