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Posts: 46
Reply with quote  #1 
Hi, I feel that my AN D's friend might have anorexia. This 14 year old girl has been in ballet all her life, now her ballet classes are 2-4 hrs 4 times a week. She's been told a lot that she will never be a real ballerina because she doesn't have "ballet body". She is short and fit. She's been having lots of body image issues. Here is the dilemma: she would not touch pizza, but has a full fat ice cream. In school she only eats some fruits and vegetables for school lunch, because she says " that's what all the girls eat". She wouldn't touch any "junk food", in restaurants all she orders is a salad, but with creamy dressing and croutons. Yesterday I saw her plating her own plate, where she put enough meat and was having seconds of potatoes. Her mom says she can see that she lost some weight, but doesn't seem too concern about it. To me, I see a lot of similar behaviors ( food restrictions) that my daughter had, but than again, she went for seconds with potatoes. Her mom says that her attitude towards her has been terrible. Her parents are recently separated and maybe that is the reason. She would eat if her mom is there to watch her, but at the parties, where they only serve "junk food" or pizza, she would only get some veggies. I spoke to her mom and she will be going to see her GP and weight her there, but I feel that the mom is not too serious about that and to me also have some eating disorder behaviors. With this picture am I overreacting? Before my daughter was diagnosed, all foods were hard and my daughter was counting calories. This girl does not do that. My husband says that I see anorexia everywhere these days. I mean, I did see her having seconds of potatoes. Sorry, if my English is not good, it is my second language.

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Posts: 4,923
Reply with quote  #2 
Gosh, it's so hard to tell, isn't it?  There are definitely groups of girls who won't eat anything other than vegetables when they're with others - my non-ED d's friend group was like that.  There was just no point offering them anything other than vegetables (and possibly fruits) because they would turn everything else down.  And yet, these were just "normal" teen girls; not AN kids.  Luckily my ED-D's friends weren't like that and would happily eat pretty much whatever you gave them."

You said, "Her mom says she can see that she lost some weight, but doesn't seem too concern about it."  Hmmm ... if this girl has actually lost weight (as opposed to getting thinner because she had a growth spurt), that's not a good sign.  My understanding is that a 14 year old should never lose weight.

Sorry, I'm just rambling instead of answering your question.  I see why you are concerned, but I have no idea if this girl needs help or not.

Please keep us posted. xx


"We are angels of hope, of healing, and of light. Darkness flees from us." -YP 

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Posts: 3,592
Reply with quote  #3 
Sotired has mentioned on her thread yesterday the feeling of seeing eating disorders everywhere. I think we as parents are very sensitive to this, in particular because most of us initially didn't see it coming and in hindsight there were the sorts of signs you are mentioning. 
Realistically all you can do is mention your concerns, and perhaps your experience of why you see concern. Offer resources to go to, a great one to assist with early recognition is this Australian site  but then we have to leave it to their parents to sort out. Sometimes your concern is warranted, but there will be times we are wrong. 

D diagnosed restrictive AN June 2010 age 13.5. Weight restored July 2012. Relapse and now clawing our way back. Treatment: multiple hospitalisations and individual and family therapy.

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Posts: 184
Reply with quote  #4 
I can relate!!! But not much with other kids but now I am closely watching my 13.5  son who I don't think is eating enough for his age, talks about switching to healthy food (but will not refuse pizza or hot dog, luckily) and wants to have muscles all of a sudden. I don't want to rely on the possibility this is just a stage as I made that mistake with my d. But who knew then?! He is in a tremendous growth spurt (never ending status) and I started weighing him and measuring once a month while pushing regular eating. 
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