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Sotired

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Reply with quote  #101 
Could slam replace your useless current team if you ask them?they may know a way to make it happen which would be good as your d is going to really struggle now that her bfs gone.in fact could you tell them what has happened tomorrow and say the likely effects that will happen as a result?they may at the very least have some decent suggestions to help.hope things go ok,
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Sotired42
ooKoo

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Reply with quote  #102 
Oh crikey Nelly, what else are you going to have thrown at you??? If your D can get through this, whilst still eating and not bp, she will be stronger and more empowered. Your poor D. [frown] And poor you, as you will inevitably have to deal with the fall out.

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UK - South East

17.5 yo D

Dx AN Feb 2015 (Aged 15). Pre-existing low self-esteen and high anxiety. 

2015: 3 x medical hospital admissions. 1 month in IP which she self discharged from [eek].
2016: 3 x hospital admissions.
2017: Currently attending CAMHS CBT. WR, at college, living life to the max.

On particularly rough days when I am sure I can't possibly endure, I like to remind myself that my track record for getting through bad days so far is 100% and that's pretty good. [Author Unknown]
NELLY_UK

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Reply with quote  #103 
I did say to slam we would prefer to travel to aee people who get it and can help rather than see the local team. They can make recommendations to the local team. My worry is that the local team say they can deliver but they just don't have the skills to do so effectively. I had sent the independent assessment to them as well.
Not sur how sympathetic they will be to her teenage love life drama.

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NELLY D 18 bulimic since age 12, diagnosed in 2011. 20 months useless CAMHs,7 months great IP, home March 14..... more useless CAMHs.now an adult & no MH services are involved. I reached the end of my tether, tied a knot in it and am hanging on. Bulimia treatmentis in the dark ages in West Sussex.
Sotired

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Reply with quote  #104 
Can you say that to the slam people,that the local team are all words but of no actual help?re your ds breakup,it is significant because it has been a full on relationship and with any breakdown of any relationship it can send people into self destructive behaviours,let alone someone who is sick.it takes so little for our d to slide downhill that we have to mention anything that happens as we never know what will lead to total food refusal and /or self harm.she cut her wrist because she wasn't allowed on a walk at thrive.it takes so little... Anyway,mentioning can do no harm,even if it makes no difference
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Sotired42
Dobbin

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Reply with quote  #105 
Hi Nelly
Its so awful, the poor service you are getting.  I can't offer any real help and I'm not an expert on UK services but just wanted to mention that we are under the care of a service based at SLAM which calls itself a National CAMHS Specialist Eating disorder service and the service leaflet doesn't mention needing to live in any particular area of the country.
It would be so helpful if there was more clarity and consistency in service provision across the country, especially as GPs don't appear to understand the services available.  I feel it is just luck and geography which has got us the support we need.
Best wishes
Torie

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Reply with quote  #106 
Hi Nelly - Just want to say I always read your posts and wish I had something helpful to say in reply. So so sorry to hear the bf has jumped ship.  Ugh. What further obstacles can life throw your way?

Hang in there. You're a fab mum.

Hugs,

-Torie

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"We are angels of hope, of healing, and of light. Darkness flees from us." -YP 
floating

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Reply with quote  #107 
Nellyuk

So sorry this added problem of the break up of the relationship has happened
Damn that is tough on your D as her was a support to her

Also this set back will no doubt be tough on you all

I hope you get the help that is required very soon as your families  journey has been a very difficult and long on,,,,,,,, my thoughts and best wishes are with you

hug xxx

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NELLY_UK

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Reply with quote  #108 
I hope she learns to keep her friends closer to her when there is a bf around. One came to stay last night, two more are coming later today.
Partners are fine , but friends are always there, quietly supporting and being there.

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NELLY D 18 bulimic since age 12, diagnosed in 2011. 20 months useless CAMHs,7 months great IP, home March 14..... more useless CAMHs.now an adult & no MH services are involved. I reached the end of my tether, tied a knot in it and am hanging on. Bulimia treatmentis in the dark ages in West Sussex.
NELLY_UK

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Reply with quote  #109 
D is sleeping a lot and barely eating crying all the time. She has work tomorrow. Don't know how that will go. She needs to move forwards but I don't know if she Is strong enough.
Feeling like weighing will have to come back as she will be losing again.
Gah.

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NELLY D 18 bulimic since age 12, diagnosed in 2011. 20 months useless CAMHs,7 months great IP, home March 14..... more useless CAMHs.now an adult & no MH services are involved. I reached the end of my tether, tied a knot in it and am hanging on. Bulimia treatmentis in the dark ages in West Sussex.
Elena

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Reply with quote  #110 
Just being a teenager is really tough, but doing it with an ED seems almost impossible for the poor kids. I love the fact that you are still fighting and that you are never going to give up, when everything else in her life is totally stuffed up, at least she has you there. My d has never had a boyfriend, and she sooo would like to be in a relationship, but thin, pale and unwell, just isn't that attractive. But just now I'm rather glad that she doesn't, as I know that a break up would really break her. I'm so glad your d's friends are rallying around her.

I really hope you can work out something with the Slam team. Best wishes...
NELLY_UK

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Reply with quote  #111 
So d and bf made up after such a traumatic few days. The day before they met accidentally (small town so it's inevitable) she ate and was sick that day.
That is the first time in weeks.
Now try are together and she has eaten without being sick.
BUT and I don't know how to get past this gently gently but she will only eat pre prepared meals with the calorie amount on it. She eats her prawn pasta salads, chicken salads, rice, fruit and muesli bars. But that is it. Very limited and controlled.
How long will we stick with this before tryig to et her to eat other things. We are so happy that after four years the vomiting has slowed right down. That to us, is amazing. Do we bide our time to ensure she is rid of the vomiting before trying other food? She will eat it but it's a huge struggle after that she will probably lose. Is it worth it yet?

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NELLY D 18 bulimic since age 12, diagnosed in 2011. 20 months useless CAMHs,7 months great IP, home March 14..... more useless CAMHs.now an adult & no MH services are involved. I reached the end of my tether, tied a knot in it and am hanging on. Bulimia treatmentis in the dark ages in West Sussex.
Sotired

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Reply with quote  #112 
Honestly?if it was me and I'd gone through what you have,I would wait and see.after all,pushing more food that your d then just vomits back up is also a waste of time.she is eating,it's probably not enough yet,but she is keeping it down,that's the important bit.if she manages this for a week or so,then I would see if you can add some milk or ensure.i tell my d it's for her bones,that they need it.weirdly,she accepts that,and as she is 17 I take the wins I can get!then you could add maybe a small chocolate bar for afternoon tea.or nuts maybe.
Good luck,

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Sotired42
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Reply with quote  #113 
Nelly,

So pleased that things seem more positive again!

When my D left IP, her diet was very limited but slowly over time, she challenged herself to a 'new' food. This was totally lead by her, rather than me suggesting anything. At first, was difficult for her to ask for anything specifically, but when she did I didn't make any comments or discuss it in any way (although I wanted to whoop and dance around). I always made sure that there is a choice of food available for her to snack on (I guess this isn't really possible for you because of worry about binging?). I guess, what I am saying is, IF your D is wanting to do this herself, she will challenge herself at her own pace. You just need to be ready to pick up that pace with her when she sends out the signals. The whole time she is eating something, it will be feeding her brain, and when her brain is better nourished, she MAY have the strength and ability to move forward.

Did you need to weigh her when she was having her blip? Any idea on weight? My D still won't be weighed......it would be nice to have a number on it, but on the other side of the coin, it is a releif not to be obsessed with numbers, BMI and %!

I hope your D continues to eat and keep it in. Sending you positive vibes from the other side of Sussex!

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UK - South East

17.5 yo D

Dx AN Feb 2015 (Aged 15). Pre-existing low self-esteen and high anxiety. 

2015: 3 x medical hospital admissions. 1 month in IP which she self discharged from [eek].
2016: 3 x hospital admissions.
2017: Currently attending CAMHS CBT. WR, at college, living life to the max.

On particularly rough days when I am sure I can't possibly endure, I like to remind myself that my track record for getting through bad days so far is 100% and that's pretty good. [Author Unknown]
NELLY_UK

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Reply with quote  #114 
When we had the slam assessment they weighed her and she had dropped to 50.4 kgs and they said she was 5'5".
If she knows the weight they would put her in IP that becomes a target to hover slightly above so the whole weighing thing is still helping.
This week she has not eaten much so they will weigh her In september and we will see what is going on. I just want the focus to be on not vomiting rather than what her weight is. She said she knows she doesn't eat enough. Her mood has been awful the last few days. I never quite know what's teenage moods what's pmt and what's hunger. She usually snacks when starving and at home.
Still holding our breath. X

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NELLY D 18 bulimic since age 12, diagnosed in 2011. 20 months useless CAMHs,7 months great IP, home March 14..... more useless CAMHs.now an adult & no MH services are involved. I reached the end of my tether, tied a knot in it and am hanging on. Bulimia treatmentis in the dark ages in West Sussex.
mumto3

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Reply with quote  #115 
Keep hanging in there Nelly.
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K63

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Reply with quote  #116 
Hi Nelly-uk, just my opinion I am no expert and I know ultimately they need to get to a Bmi above 18.5 but putting the weight on isn't always the only thing it needs to stay on . My d was discharged at a bmi of 18.5 but wanted to loose it again. We are gaining now but it's a struggle and the fact that your d isn't purging is great. I wouldn't push too much for a while and then gradually try to introduce new foods. Hopefully it may come from herself of not you can introduce new foods bit by bit.
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Daughter started restricting in February 2014, tried re feeding at home hospital admission 4 1/2 months weight restored started restricting post discharge, back on meal plan full supervision weight restored april 2016. Starting to hand back responsibility for meals it's scary. 
Torie

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Reply with quote  #117 
Good luck figuring out the steps for this confounding dance, Nelly.  What a tough balancing act your d has set up for you.

xx

-Torie

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"We are angels of hope, of healing, and of light. Darkness flees from us." -YP 
NELLY_UK

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Reply with quote  #118 
What a moo she has been tonight. Went to meet friends at a party on the middle of nowhere so no phone signal and they were late. After ten minutes she decided we should give up and said 'I will have a bad evening now. I will have to be sick.' She was angry with me for the fact the meet up didn't happen.
Grrrrrrr
Anyway, off we set for home and passed her friends coming the other way so the meet up happened.
No thank you or sorry nothing.
This is after last nights anger and aggression against me for which my head still hurts.
[frown]
Just venting sorry
Grrrrrrrrrrr

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NELLY D 18 bulimic since age 12, diagnosed in 2011. 20 months useless CAMHs,7 months great IP, home March 14..... more useless CAMHs.now an adult & no MH services are involved. I reached the end of my tether, tied a knot in it and am hanging on. Bulimia treatmentis in the dark ages in West Sussex.
ooKoo

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Reply with quote  #119 
I remember posting earlier in this thread warning about last minute change of plan and coping mechanisms.....we had the same at the beginning of recovery.... glad your D got to meet up with her friends eventually!

Each day brings yet another bloomin' challenge, but each and every challenge like this adds up and collectively help them cope with life in general.

Keep hanging onto that thread of yours.....

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UK - South East

17.5 yo D

Dx AN Feb 2015 (Aged 15). Pre-existing low self-esteen and high anxiety. 

2015: 3 x medical hospital admissions. 1 month in IP which she self discharged from [eek].
2016: 3 x hospital admissions.
2017: Currently attending CAMHS CBT. WR, at college, living life to the max.

On particularly rough days when I am sure I can't possibly endure, I like to remind myself that my track record for getting through bad days so far is 100% and that's pretty good. [Author Unknown]
NELLY_UK

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Reply with quote  #120 
Well d has been working and eating and not vomiting. Two vomits in just over a month.
Wow!!
She is happy and busy. Ed is being pushed out after a four year fight. D is definitely winning.
She even says it is getting easier.
We are still on meal deals with known calories but there are snacks in between that are not so strict.
Is this recovery starting properly?
Holding our breath and hanging on to the tether which we feel like we are climbing back up.

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NELLY D 18 bulimic since age 12, diagnosed in 2011. 20 months useless CAMHs,7 months great IP, home March 14..... more useless CAMHs.now an adult & no MH services are involved. I reached the end of my tether, tied a knot in it and am hanging on. Bulimia treatmentis in the dark ages in West Sussex.
Sotired

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Reply with quote  #121 
It sounds like positive steps to me[smile]
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Sotired42
Calm_USA

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Reply with quote  #122 
That sounds like huge progress.  Keep climbing!
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Mom of a 19 yr old. RAN diagnosed 1/2014. Residential, PHP, IOP. W/R since late summer 2014. Now in remission and thriving in her second year at university. My Faith remains.
Gina

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Reply with quote  #123 

Nelly, sooo pleased you have progress to report too!! We can but hope our girls continue to move towards a healthy and happy life. Xx
K63

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Reply with quote  #124 
Hi Nelly, this sounds really promising , what a relief to have the purging stop so happy for ye .
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Daughter started restricting in February 2014, tried re feeding at home hospital admission 4 1/2 months weight restored started restricting post discharge, back on meal plan full supervision weight restored april 2016. Starting to hand back responsibility for meals it's scary. 
NELLY_UK

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Reply with quote  #125 
Omg!!!!
She had breakfast before work at 7am.
It was a chicken salad and fruit but she called it breakfast.
Massive deal if this is another meal in her day.
:0 :0 :0

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NELLY D 18 bulimic since age 12, diagnosed in 2011. 20 months useless CAMHs,7 months great IP, home March 14..... more useless CAMHs.now an adult & no MH services are involved. I reached the end of my tether, tied a knot in it and am hanging on. Bulimia treatmentis in the dark ages in West Sussex.
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