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atdt31_US

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Reply with quote  #1 
Long story short, my d is very likely not RAN and although potentially Eating Disordered, we are not in any way "refeeding."  She is on her own historic growth curve that is admittedly lower than anyone would wish for.  I have long threads if you want to delve into it, but for purposes of this question, assume she is a non-ed kid who would be better off in many ways if she weighed more.

We are likely going to re-start psych sessions so she can get some help with anxiety.  I have a 2015 thread I had tried to tag onto today but it is closed.  So without restating our life history, d has anxiety that appears to get worse when she eats less than her normal but which is also triggered by, among other things, medical appointments.  She has new diagnosis (rare eye condition, supposedly unrelated to nutrition, etc) that is necessitating many doctor appointments, weird eyes tests (speculum in the eye), blood draws (big needle phobia), travel out of state for appointments, etc.  

So we think it is a good idea to get a psych back involved to help her navigate all this and maybe now that she is entering sixth grade, teach her some skills to combat anxiety.  We have a relationship with a child psych who we have seen on and off for years  -- but some of that was geared toward eating and I don't really want that to be a part of this go-round (unless it naturally leads there).  I do not think that child psych did CBT and her role was always murky given the fluidity of the situation at the time she was involved. 

I would like to look for a new provider.  Based on your answers in my 2015 posting I should be looking for CBT to deal with the anxiety, and ideally, I should be in the room at least for the nuts and bolts and homework part of the session.  That makes sense, but finding someone who will do those things is proving difficult.  

Anyone want to weigh in on what is the most important prong?  I can likely find a CBT person who treats anxiety, but I am having no luck finding one that is pediatric, and with our old child psych, she did not keep me in the room with d but rather, a bit before or after for an adults only briefing.  

Do you think it is easier to convert a CBT non-pediatric provider into one who will work with us in a pediatric way (me in the room).  Or do you think it is better to seek out a Pediatric Psychologist and convince them to do CBT? 

I need to be ready to fill this gap asap so any input/experience on anxiety in general (not solely ED) would be welcome.  I do not think this is a "food first to heal her brain" situation - - I think we are ripe to try to address anxiety.





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Mom of either pre-diagnosis or non-ed underweight 11 yoa kid here to learn how to achieve weight gain.  BMI steadily in the mid 12's for nearly her entire life.  Born 2006.
Torie

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Reply with quote  #2 
I can't remember how old your d is, but my guess is the chances would be better with a pediatric psych, but I wouldn't rule out the possibility of finding a provider who normally treats adults who could be persuaded to modify for a younger patient.  

Just a guess.

Please keep us posted - so sorry to hear about the eye complication, but I really appreciate the update.  I've been wondering how you and your d were doing.  xx

-Torie

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"We are angels of hope, of healing, and of light. Darkness flees from us." -YP 
Mamaroo

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Reply with quote  #3 
Hi, your d is the same age as mine, so I can relate a bit. Was she always an anxious child? My other daughter was born anxious, would not sleep, sucked her thumb, the glass was always half empty and we used to call her 'stress princess'. Her sister (who got RAN) was the most relaxed child ever, slept through the night from 6 weeks and the glass was always half full. Funny how life turns out. When puberty just started she showed the first signs of anxiety. She is now WR with a BMI of 22, yet she is still anxious, not about food so much, but the anxiety moved to her speech and now resides in her hair 😁.

I tried CBT with my other d to help with anxiety. I got a book "CBT for dummies" and read a couple of chapters. I then came to the conclusion that it is not so easy to learn CBT. I'm telling you this, so that you can know, expecting a psych to do CBT may be more difficult than convincing a CBT provider to work with children. Just a thought.

In the end I treated my other d's anxiety with over the counter anti anxiety meds, same stuff I take and same stuff I give my d.

I can imagine all the eye tests and appointments would cause your d a lot of anxiety. I'm getting anxious just reading about it. She is a very brave girl.

Please let us know if CBT is working for you. Wishing you all the best!

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D became obsessed with exercise at age 9. Started eating 'healthy' at age 9.5. Restricting couple of months later. IP for 2 weeks at age 10. Slowly refed for a year and WR at age 11. Challenging fear foods now.
melstevUK

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Reply with quote  #4 
atdt31,

There is a very good book called 'Parenting your Anxious Child with mindfulness and acceptance' and there is another book which others have recommended by an American author (I can't remember her name) which you may find helpful.

I spent a lot of time with my d since she was little, helping her deal with anxiety-creating situations, and have stepped in to help out in some way when she was experiencing difficulties which she could not address herself.  Ultimately if you put your d to any clinician, she will only have an hour or two a week and then the rest of the time she is at home.  You may find it works to think how you yourself addressed anxiety when younger, and help her find strategies to deal with each individual situation.  

Meds may help but validating her anxiety around all that is happening with her eyes and all these eye tests in itself may be enough, and and simply supporting her through it will demonstrate that she can face up to difficult and scary situations successfully.   If her anxiety is generally getting in the way of every day functioning, the books mentioned above will definitely be useful.  I am sure someone will add a comment about the US author.  I hope you get effective treatment for the eye difficulties.


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Kali

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Reply with quote  #5 
Hi melstevUK,

Was this the book you were thinking of?

Freeing Your Child from Anxiety, Revised and Updated Edition: Practical Strategies to Overcome Fears, Worries, and Phobias and Be Prepared for Life--from Toddlers to Teens

by Tamar Chansky Ph.D.

best,

Kali

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melstevUK

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Reply with quote  #6 
Yes, that's the one Kali, thank you!  Atdt31 - I think it is worth purchasing either or both of these books.
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Believe you can and you're halfway there.
Theodore Roosevelt.
atdt31_US

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Reply with quote  #7 
Thanks all. I downloaded the Chamsky books and read about a third of it a year or so ago when we tried a sort of Magic Plate a bit and spiked her anxiety big time. I will try to find time for a refresher on it, and will look into the other book as well. This parenting gig is hard. And exhausting.
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Mom of either pre-diagnosis or non-ed underweight 11 yoa kid here to learn how to achieve weight gain.  BMI steadily in the mid 12's for nearly her entire life.  Born 2006.
Tali97

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Reply with quote  #8 
Hi atdt

 You may find that an adult psych is not licensed to treat pediatrics, as they are not in Canada. We found our last and greatest psych by describing what we required to Psych's (starting with one we trusted) and asking who they would recommend. It took a few phone calls but we eventually found some one who we trust. She follows the  Emotion Focused Family Therapy (EFFT) as opposed to CBT(which does not work for my child). I would suggest that when talking to psychs you tell them looking you tell them you are looking for family therapy. 
Good luck with your search you have been battling hard for a long time.

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18 year old boy (Gluten Free/Dairy Free 2005)
 IP - March/April 2014.  ARFID.
 2015 - Gastroparisis
atdt31_US

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Reply with quote  #9 
I think we will give old Child Psych another attempt.  Her website actually does say she is CBT. As I said, there was a lot of flex in what we wanted/expected from her in the prior go-rounds.  I will try to prep her to just start fresh and assess and deal with anxiety, of course telling her of the medical appts. And good to know, Tali, that CBT may not be the end-all-be-all.  I sure wish the school year was not right about to begin -- new school, tween, still underweight but only an issue when strings together a few bad meals in a row, still on meds for constipation she hates, and throw in the eye stuff.  She will be one tough kid by the end of it all.  Thanks, all, for the input.   Good to hear from you, Tali -- I always think of you and know you also dealt with the physical stuff too with little kids.  I really think it changes them a bit to have so many serious doctor visits, especially when it is longterm not just a quick series.  Stronger for it, I hope.
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Mom of either pre-diagnosis or non-ed underweight 11 yoa kid here to learn how to achieve weight gain.  BMI steadily in the mid 12's for nearly her entire life.  Born 2006.
OneToughMomma

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Reply with quote  #10 
Let us know how you go, atdt_US. We'll be thinking of you.

xoOTM

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D in and out of EDNOS since age 8. dx RAN 2013. WR Aug '14. Graduated FBT June 2015 at 18 yrs old. [thumb]
Francie

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Reply with quote  #11 
Hi atdt31_US, sorry for all you and your d are going through. I am hopeful that the psychiatrist you used in the past will be helpful. If you already trust that person, that's a huge benefit moving forward.

Our experience with psychiatrists has been that they are only medicine managers. Appointments are brief, 20 minutes or so and there has been no talk therapy involved, just a check in to see that meds are helpful and not harmful.

No matter the skills and techniques of the person your d sees, perhaps most important is that they share a good connection. Someone who is empathetic and a good listener who your d trusts, and healing will be encouraged. And the books are a great idea, too! All best to you and your d.

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Francie

annabanana

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Reply with quote  #12 
Hi Atdt31, my D too is very similar to what you're describing and I'd appreciate your update down the road. Unfortunately for us, her twin sister (also recovering from disordered eating) is the source of her anxiety, esp the thought of being the fat twin, which she never was. Her anxiety is causing great stress on everyone in the family.

I'm also looking for ways to help her, and after reading some of the posts, I might request some changes to her therapy including having me in the room during the session. I expect some difficulty with that though, since my D is 17.

I look forward to your update. Thank you.
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