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ed_newbie

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Reply with quote  #26 
I don't suffer from anxiety other than some self-diagnosed PTSD from re-feeding if you consider that anxiety [smile].  But my husband's side of the family does.  My AN d has shown signs of anxiety since she was a a toddler.  Both she and her younger brother have anxiety related to school.  Throughout the years teachers comment at initial parent/teacher conferences about how nice it is to have d or s in class, how well behaved they are, etc.  but how they were initially concerned those first few weeks because they barely uttered a single word.  Gradually things would improve and class participation would increase but they will never be the first kids to raise their hands or volunteer for extracurricular activities.  I do think some of this may be a bit of introversion - they both need some alone time to recharge the batteries.  I can relate.

But I've also noticed that there are certain situations that trigger massive anxiety in my d.  Some of it seems like pretty normal teen stuff like worrying about an exam or stressing about an upcoming social event with new friends or the opposite sex.  But there are other triggers that seem less normal to me.  Many times it will involve a perceived risk of breaking "rules".   A recent example:  Picking d up from school one day, she realized she forgot something in her locker.  I said okay no big deal, I'll just drive you around to the front of the school and the office will buzz you in so you can go back to your locker.  Most kids wouldn't blink an eye about this but my d had a complete meltdown and refused, saying "you can't go back into the school after dismissal"!  Hmmm... who wrote that rule?  Luckily a friend who was waiting for a ride offered to walk back into the school with her.  

I too have yet to finish Tamar Chansky's book but know that I will be picking it back up soon.  

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"Lineage, personality and environment may shape you, but they do not define your full potential."    Mollie Marti  

ed_newbie

14 yr old d diagnosed with AN late December 2015 at the age of 12 after a 23 lb weight loss during prior 3 months. Started FBT/Maudsley at home on Christmas Eve with support from amazing local nutritionist specializing in ED and trained in FBT. WR Feb 2016 and now chasing growth and taking one meal at a time.
HateEDwithApassion

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Reply with quote  #27 
We are currently in discussions about next year with my 18 yo graduating senior ED D.  Because we always expected her to go onto college and she was accepted at our state's flagship which is an hour away, that was our hope. She could experience college with the safety net that we could be on her doorstep in 60 minutes max. Well, she has told us she is taking a gap year to figure things out and maybe do a work/stay at a meditation conference center for a few months. 

My H and I both think she is anxious about starting college. Roommate, hard classes, away from home. So, we have struggled with supporting the gap year (which would seem like a smart choice for a recovering ED kid) or pushing her to just face college and go. It took us lots of conversation to figure out this might be avoidance. Typically the solution is exposure, which would be going to college.  In this case, we are probably going to back off, let her take a gap year and explore the work/stay thing. But - it's tough. The only way they truly get over anxiety is by facing the fear. I think that comes with maturity, in some cases, and understanding of what the fear really is. And a desire for something else that is so strong, they are willing to face the fear.

I find I wake up with anxiety a lot. In DBT, one tactic for dealing with high high anxiety that won't come down is paced breathing. You can find it online, too. Breathing out for longer than breathing in. Slow pace. It's got a biological basis and it does truly help calm me.

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17 yo D. Diagnosed in July 2013. W/R in Sept. 2013 and has remained so. Roller coaster on and off since, mainly with ED under control but co-morbid depression and other negative coping mechanisms making our life hell. Trusting in God for daily strength and wisdom.
Kali

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Reply with quote  #28 
Hi Hateedwithapassion,

Meditation is a powerful way to ease anxiety. Perhaps your daughter could really benefit from being in that environment before going to college and perhaps she will find new tools to ease her depression. Can the school she got into let her start next year instead of this fall? Often that is possible.

Just a thought....

Kali

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Mamaroo

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Reply with quote  #29 
Hi HateEDwithApassion

Would it be possible for your D to stay at home and drive to college every day? I know an hour to and an hour back sounds like a lot, but that is what my hubby and I did back in our days (it took even longer when we used public transport). After a while one gets used to it. That way she can ease into it and maybe the following year, she can stay at college.

MelstevUK - Thank you for the book suggestion 'Parenting your anxious child with mindfulness and acceptance', I'm definitely getting it.

Ed_newbie - I think I'm also suffering from refeeding PTSD. My D is eating and growing now, but since the beginning of the year I can't sleep. My 'get up and go' got up and went :-)))).

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D became obsessed with exercise at age 9. Started eating 'healthy' at age 9.5. Restricting couple of months later. IP for 2 weeks at age 10. Slowly refed for a year and WR at age 11. Challenging fear foods now.
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