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rose08

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Reply with quote  #1 
I haven't posted in awhile but I check in on the forum almost everyday... its a part of my daily routine now and I take courage from all the wisdom and strength in all the posts.  My D age 12 with Anorexia is almost, but not quite, WR, its taking longer than expected but its been worth every hard earned gram.

7 months ago she was a frail, cold, tired waif - terrified of food, body checking constantly, excising when she thought no-one could see, completely isolated in her head and full of angry self loathing ED thoughts.  She didn't want to get better, and told us this constantly, it was just heartbreaking to hear.

3 meals, 3 snacks, 2 smoothies every day for the last 7 months have literally saved her life and brought her back to us. She finally admits that she needs to eat to stay healthy, even though it is painful and scary, that she HAS to do this in order to have a life and a chance at a good future - I know this doesn't sound like much, but coming from the mind of someone with Anorexia its a huge acknowledgement of her disease and shows at least the beginnings of insight.  A good psychologist is helpful and medication can smooth some edges, but good NUTRITION and enough of it is essential and remains my number 1 method of combating this illness.

I tell her often that she is the bravest girl I know.  I never take for granted what each mouthful sometimes costs her.  Food is not a carefree thing yet, but life is being lived, friends invited around and I hear laughter in my home again.  I really just wanted others who may just be starting out, or who are still in trenches, to know this as I remember all to clearly how terrifying this process can be. We still have a way to go, but we are getting there xx Rose 
 
kazi67

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Reply with quote  #2 
Great job Rose!!! Great to hear your d is doing so well!
What an amazing mumma you are!
Food plus Love more Food plus Love
Then more Food plus Love [smile]
My d is going well too yay!!
I've sacked the dietician and phycologist [frown]
Well if I need either one again I guess I know the number
eternalhope

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Reply with quote  #3 
Rose, thanks for posting. You’ve done an amazing job, esp. considering so little professional help in South Africa. I check this forum several times a day to see how people are doing and to get ideas and support to help my own d. God bless this forum. I’m so glad to hear how well she is doing.
EC_Mom

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Reply with quote  #4 
Rose, what great news! And we here know that it is HERO parenting to get your d this far. Yay!!
rose08

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Reply with quote  #5 
Thanks Kazi, ECmom and Eternalhope - its a crazy journey for sure, but just knowing that there are others (like you!) that are in this too and "get it" is amazing. Sending love from S.A. xx
tina72

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Reply with quote  #6 
Hi rose,
thank you for that update. It is so important to hear about other patients getting better and you did an amazing job. You are a hero and you are just as brave as your d is. Yes, we also have a way to go. But comparing where we have been half a year ago it has changed a lot. And sometimes I dare to look that way into future and dream about what life we might have than. I know that relapse is possible and that we have to have eagle eyes. But with that actual state I could live. And every progress from now on is an extra gift. I thank you all for your help and good advices, too.
Send you a big hug from Germany. Keep on going! You are a superhero-mum!
Tina72
Torie

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Reply with quote  #7 
Quote:
Originally Posted by rose08
I know this doesn't sound like much 


Oh gosh, it is the whole world!!!!

I remember in the early days when I was unhappy with my d for losing my car key or some stupid thing and she said tearily, "What do you want from me?  I'm eating and I'm not cutting."

I though oh my gosh what kind of weird twilight zone have we been dropped into that a great day is when D eats and doesn't hurt herself.

It is what it is, though, and we all get it.  Your d's progress is HUGE!!!

You rock!!   

Thanks for the great post. xx

-Torie

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"We are angels of hope, of healing, and of light. Darkness flees from us." -YP 
rose08

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Reply with quote  #8 
Torie and Tina, thank you, every little step forward is a gift and your posts made me a little teary eyed, in a good way! xx
scaredmom

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Reply with quote  #9 
Rose
What a great post! You have done so well. I teared up when you mentioned she is the bravest girl you know. That is so true! They are so courageous everytime they eat! You did great, mom!! Celebrate!!
OneToughMomma

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Reply with quote  #10 
Rose, well done to you and your brave d. We know how hard it is and we know how much those little things mean.

xoOTM

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D in and out of EDNOS since age 8. dx RAN 2013. WR Aug '14. Graduated FBT June 2015 at 18 yrs old. [thumb]
Mamaroo

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Reply with quote  #11 
Hi Rose, so happy to hear about your progress. It is wonderful to hear laughter again, isn't? Keep up the good work.
Best wishes!

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D became obsessed with exercise at age 9. Started eating 'healthy' at age 9.5. Restricting couple of months later. IP for 2 weeks at age 10. Slowly refed for a year and WR at age 11 in March 2017. Challenging fear foods and behaviours now.
LauraCollins_US

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Reply with quote  #12 
Thank you, thank you, thank you, THANK you for this inspirational and beautiful update!!!!
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Laura (Collins) Lyster-Mensh
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mjkz

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Reply with quote  #13 
Rose you and your family are a true inspiration and show what family really can achieve against Ed.  Thanks for the update!!
newbie3

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Reply with quote  #14 
As someone at the very start of the proces your post was really encouraging to read. My 14 yo D has been diagnosed with depression along with the ED. She is cutting too. I guess those things must sometimes go hand in hand. We are still waiting for the mental health and eating clinic assessment so that we can get into some sort of therapy for her. It’s so hard waiting and feeling helpless.
tina72

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Reply with quote  #15 
Hi newbie3,
food is her medicine and you don´t need to wait for that. Additional therapie might help, but in most cases it is senseless unless they are WR. You are not helpless. You can refeed her. You just need a little bit hope and an idea how to do it. Ask, ask, ask.
We had a lot of problems with self harm and we got it by buying a punching bag. Our d had so much agression against herself that she needed something to get it out. She used it a lot after meals and I must say I used it too when she was in school. Today it is in a sack waiting to be needed...
Tina72
eternalhope

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Reply with quote  #16 
Hi Tina, we were thinking about getting a punching bag for our d.. that said she had a history of secretly overexercing.. I know your d is doing well.. I guess my question is.. do you think she used the bag to vent frustration? I just worry my d may use it to exercise/burn calories.
tina72

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Reply with quote  #17 
Hi eternalhope,
that is a difficult question for me because my d did never overexercise (and I am sure for that). So I´m sure that my d used it for venting frustration but it might be different in your case. Can you hang it somewhere where she is supervised and cannot use it without control? I would not dare to give you advice in that case. Maybe it is worth a try but it might be the case that you will have to remove it again.
I hope it could help.
Tina72
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