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Foodsupport_AUS

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Reply with quote  #26 
Has horrible as it is, it is great that she is doing this. It sounds like she is getting good support at the program and she is trying hard. It sounds like she has been struggling for a long time. Thinking of you and your D. Keep it going. 
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D diagnosed restrictive AN June 2010 age 13.5. Weight restored July 2012. Relapse and now clawing our way back. Treatment: multiple hospitalisations and individual and family therapy.
mjkz

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Reply with quote  #27 
Isn't it amazing what they struggle with and through?  I remember holding my daughter once as she cried and begged for whatever next was coming to kill her rather than making her any stronger.  She needed no more character building experiences (she has a whopping dose of character!!).  Lot of times I would sneak off into my walk in closet and cry myself after assuring her that she could do it and that we would support her in any way possible.  It does get easier (maybe more routine would be a better word) as they form new habits and learn how to eat no matter what.  It is possible and she is doing everything she can right now to break into recovery.

Something I did with my daughter was plan out things for the future.  Your daughter wants to travel in her gap year.  Maybe now would be a good time to start talking about where and what she wants to see during those travels.  My daughter and I planned a cruise in the Caribbean.  I went along but she had a lot of freedom on the boat and knew I was there if she needed me.  She even handled the casino well (better than me to be honest) [biggrin]
Torie

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Reply with quote  #28 
So glad to hear the positives in your report!  Sucks that this is happening, but you are both doing so well.

Keep swimming.  xx

-Torie

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"We are angels of hope, of healing, and of light. Darkness flees from us." -YP 
Francie

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Reply with quote  #29 
Hi HateED, I'm so glad for you that your daughter is in treatment and is willing to try and fight the disease. Continued good wishes and progress to you! XO
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HateEDwithApassion

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Reply with quote  #30 
Hi all,
Thank you for your kind words. Wanted to give you a quick update. My daughter tried to quit the PHP program after a hard day on Monday. Said she was done, didn't care if she never got well, wasn't going back, and went for a run. Had a bad shouting match with my H, self-harmed, and my H finally realized how bad this truly was. They had a heart-to-heart, she agreed to try, but when the morning came, she refused to go. 

I let her drive to the program so she could tell them in person she was quitting. She didn't want to go in. I told her she had to give them that courtesy, so she went to the locked door. Refused to go in worried they would lock her in.  They did talk her into coming in because she had to talk to the doctor about it directly. The goal -in my mind - was to just get her in there, and I hoped they could talk her into staying.

They did that and more - she agreed to inpatient care. The doctor said it would help her stabilize, reset, get the meds adjusted so she would get some relief and just give her a break from worrying about getting meals in at home on her own. So she stayed there last night. She cried and said she wanted to go home, but also said it was a relief too because she can't exercise or skip meals or snacks, even if she wants to. It takes that off her shoulders for a few days.

The doctor there is very good - very unflappable. He has a very calm demeanor and is kind of grandfatherly. He also swears a lot which I think makes him seem human. So, that's where we are at. I'm grateful she's still in treatment. Praise God for the team that got her in there. I'm also mad at myself that I didn't see how entrenched this is again. This is going to be a very hard battle.

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17 yo D. Diagnosed in July 2013. W/R in Sept. 2013 and has remained so. Roller coaster on and off since, mainly with ED under control but co-morbid depression and other negative coping mechanisms making our life hell. Trusting in God for daily strength and wisdom.
mjkz

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Reply with quote  #31 
Quote:
I'm also mad at myself that I didn't see how entrenched this is again.


You did see it happening but there wasn't much she was letting you do.  I'm glad they got her inpatient since she was refusing to go to the PHP on a daily basis.  I hope this helps.
HateEDwithApassion

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Reply with quote  #32 
Hi all,
Quick update. D is still inpatient but may be coming home today or on Monday. The PHP program has less meeting time and meal support on weekends, so the doctor thinks it would be wise to stay the weekend, get the meal support and then return to PHP on Monday when meal support is more robust, making the transition easier for my D. We meet today for a family session.

There are some very sick girls on her wing now - and it made me sad to hear her say that while she doesn't want to be as thin as they are, it also triggers her to think she's so big. Instead of it scaring her that someone could get that sickly, it makes her feel guilty. Gosh - this disease is seriously evil.

My question is this -- I feel like I need to have a plan B, C, D in my mind in case she comes out of inpatient and then balks again at partial. She has said it's going to be very difficult for her. I'm thinking more about the UCSD or Center for Balanced Living one-week intensives as options, but how do they intertwine with PHP or are they in place of or after PHP or when PHP isn't working or ?  Probably not a one-size fits all, but looking for others' thoughts. 

Anyone who has done the one-week intensives, could you share when and at what stage of treatment you decided to go that route? Thanks for continued encouragement. I have to admit - I'm nervous about her coming home too.

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17 yo D. Diagnosed in July 2013. W/R in Sept. 2013 and has remained so. Roller coaster on and off since, mainly with ED under control but co-morbid depression and other negative coping mechanisms making our life hell. Trusting in God for daily strength and wisdom.
Torie

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Reply with quote  #33 
Quote:
Originally Posted by HateEDwithApassion
 I'm thinking more about the UCSD or Center for Balanced Living one-week intensives as options, but how do they intertwine with PHP or are they in place of or after PHP or when PHP isn't working or ? .


Sorry, I don't know, but I think others have said they are very helpful about answering questions if you call them.  Best of luck and please keep us posted.  xx

-Torie

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"We are angels of hope, of healing, and of light. Darkness flees from us." -YP 
mjkz

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Reply with quote  #34 
Quote:
Center for Balanced Living one-week intensives


If I had to do things all over again, this would be my plan right out of inpatient.  I've heard mixed experiences at UCSD with YA so I would got to the place in Ohio which is set up for YA/adults specifically.  I really think it would be an eye opener for both your daughter and your hubby.  You work together to do a contract that fits your situation so no one size fits all and from what I have heard, they work collaboratively with the sufferer and the support people on the contract.  If you want her to go back to PHP, I'd keep this option as Plan B, C, and D.
HateEDwithApassion

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Reply with quote  #35 
Thanks, mjkz. She is going back to partial after today. She seems to have bonded with and trusts the therapist and the medical director/psychiatrist, so I'm going to use CBL as plan B if partial falls apart and maybe even in if/when she is ready to step-down from partial. I think she would be open to it especially since it's just a week.

As for the contract, we have not yet done a contract because she will still be in partial but I am working on adapting yours. I'm nervous today about if she refuses or has a meltdown and won't go back like she did last week, but I am praying, trying to mentally prepare myself for the ambivalence and frustration so I can manage my own distress like you said. So wise - because that is something I can control. 

The one very good thing that I can say about this experience of inpatient is that it has definitely changed the perspective of my husband, hearing my D say some of the things that go on in her head about herself and the distress and sadness she feels, and how overpowering the ED thoughts are. I think he finally understands that this is not mainly willfullness or defiance, but a serious mental illness that can't be rationalized with right now. 

Thank you for all of your wisdom. I'm going to need it.

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17 yo D. Diagnosed in July 2013. W/R in Sept. 2013 and has remained so. Roller coaster on and off since, mainly with ED under control but co-morbid depression and other negative coping mechanisms making our life hell. Trusting in God for daily strength and wisdom.
HateEDwithApassion

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Reply with quote  #36 
Update: My D was discharged from inpatient last night and returned to partial treatment today, preceded by a visit with her DBT individual therapist. Lots of talking and crying. She shared a lot last night with me, cried a lot, expressed a lot of emotion, which has typically been something she has avoided. So the transition was positive. She ate and is feeling positive at the moment. I am taking everything day by day, knowing that she will struggle again but grateful that this first transition in step-down care has been smooth.

She is back on meds, and that is likely helping too, and as much as we did not want to do hospitalization, I think it has given her some insights that maybe would have come no other way. We will see....

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17 yo D. Diagnosed in July 2013. W/R in Sept. 2013 and has remained so. Roller coaster on and off since, mainly with ED under control but co-morbid depression and other negative coping mechanisms making our life hell. Trusting in God for daily strength and wisdom.
Torie

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Reply with quote  #37 
Still trying to catch up on all the threads ... I wanted to belatedly commend you for your stroke of genius in requiring your d to go to the cebter in person to tell them she was quitting.  Yay for you both!

I'm so glad the initial step-down went so well - a good reminder that brighter days are coming.

Keep swimming xx

-Torie

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"We are angels of hope, of healing, and of light. Darkness flees from us." -YP 
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