http://www.aroundthedinnertable.org <c>Around the Dinner Table<br><font size=3>Support forum for parents and caregivers of anorexia, bulimia and other eating disorder patients 60 Thur, 11 Mar 2010 14:47:32 GMT http://www.aroundthedinnertable.org/post?id=4624073 Am I really saying this? <br>Has anyone successfully beat this thing at home, without the weekly visits to the EDT?<br>I am torn between hanging on in there with them (they do think that my d is underwieght enough to poss end up back in hosp) but she feels restricted by them and does not want to share her thoughts with them or even please them any more. Or should I trust my own judgements to 'go it alone' with visits to the GP. D just doesn't trust the team and doesn't feel they give her any positive encouragement. I am aware that she is not gaining enough weight right now but could I make the change?<br>The team make me feel like I can't do it. What is actually happening I feel is that D is not willing to increase meals AND drink the disgusting juice, but she would have higher calorific meals with puds and snacks (and even a night snack) if the fortijuce was not part of the deal... but I'm scared to just go with it.. can I dump my EDT? <br>aaaaaaaaghhhhhh torment!<br><br> <p>Forum: <a href="http://www.aroundthedinnertable.org/?forum=136439">Around the Dinner Table Forum</a> http://www.aroundthedinnertable.org/post?id=4624073 Thur, 11 Mar 2010 14:27:50 GMT yorksbelle http://www.aroundthedinnertable.org/post?id=4623830 Following listening to Chris Evans this morning, who was trying to find one song from a musical that would sum up to an alien what musicals were all about (Consider Yourself was the eventual winner), I thought I would do the same for atdt<BR><BR>Here's my choice<BR><BR><A href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LWhairF_DS8" target=_blank target=_blank><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LWhairF_DS8" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LWhairF_DS8</a></A><BR><BR><BR>This is also to show all our new friends on the forum that we can think outside the ED box occasionally and that we are allowed a little fun! <p>Forum: <a href="http://www.aroundthedinnertable.org/?forum=136439">Around the Dinner Table Forum</a> http://www.aroundthedinnertable.org/post?id=4623830 Thur, 11 Mar 2010 09:43:28 GMT cjb http://www.aroundthedinnertable.org/post?id=4623448 This is an interesting study.<br><br><a href="http://www3.interscience.wiley.com/journal/122380369/abstract?CRETRY=1&amp;SRETRY=0" target="_blank">http://www3.interscience.wiley.com/journal/122380369/abstract?CRETRY=1&amp;SRETRY=0</a><br> <p>Forum: <a href="http://www.aroundthedinnertable.org/?forum=136439">Around the Dinner Table Forum</a> http://www.aroundthedinnertable.org/post?id=4623448 Thur, 11 Mar 2010 00:21:14 GMT Bridget http://www.aroundthedinnertable.org/post?id=4622806 My daughter is about 5 pounds from w/r, but her emotional status is going downhill fast.&nbsp; She has always been a perfectionist and has never dealt well with failure,&nbsp; but now she has sunk to believing that she is "crap", "stupid", ...&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; I could go on and on, but I'm sure that many of you have heard these things before.&nbsp; All this comes from a very bright young lady who is very talented - she just doesn't recognize it.&nbsp; (This is a kid who has read Lord of the Rings all the way through every year since 3rd grade, and was reading Jane Austen in 6th grade.)&nbsp; She will not accept compliments or comfort.&nbsp; The doctor didn't refer us to a psychologist at her first diagnosis of ed, because my daughter did not, and never has,&nbsp;&nbsp;resisted gaining weight.&nbsp; Now, I&nbsp;know my daughter needs to get help to learn how to deal with frustration and perfectionist traits.&nbsp;<br><br>Anybody have tips on&nbsp;dealing with this?&nbsp; I'm exhausted by the screaming and tantrums.&nbsp; My normally wonderfully behaved daughter, who&nbsp;has always been sweet and loving,&nbsp;speaks so disrespectfully, and when gently corrected, gets angry because she's such a&nbsp;"terrible daughter" for&nbsp;talking that way to me.<br><br>Sometimes, I wonder whether I'll ever have my beautiful, sweet, loving daughter back.&nbsp; Yet there are still glimmers of her old self there.&nbsp; Just not when she's frustrated, which happens daily!&nbsp;<br><br><br> <p>Forum: <a href="http://www.aroundthedinnertable.org/?forum=136439">Around the Dinner Table Forum</a> http://www.aroundthedinnertable.org/post?id=4622806 Wed, 10 Mar 2010 17:09:10 GMT Diane http://www.aroundthedinnertable.org/post?id=4622769 Hey Everybody,<br>I just joined a small, confidential, church sponsored support group that has an acquaintance in it who is clearly active in her AN.&nbsp; She is facing an empty nest as soon as her youngest child graduates high school and has confessed to me that she is having a really hard time with that.&nbsp; <br><br>What can I do?&nbsp; It is so painful to see her killing herself.&nbsp; What do I say?&nbsp; <br><br>I have shared in the group about my experience with S. and AN and Maudsley.&nbsp; And I will continue to.&nbsp; But otherwise it's like sitting with an elephant in the living room.<br><br>Does anybody have any experience with this?&nbsp; It just brings back all my sense of hopelessness that I felt in the beginning of re-feeding before I found this forum.<br><br>I would appreciate any words of wisdom even though it's not about parenting.&nbsp; You know it kinda makes me gratetful for all this happening while we could still take control of things.<br><br>Love to you all and to this forum!<br><br><br> <p>Forum: <a href="http://www.aroundthedinnertable.org/?forum=136439">Around the Dinner Table Forum</a> http://www.aroundthedinnertable.org/post?id=4622769 Wed, 10 Mar 2010 16:52:50 GMT globalmama http://www.aroundthedinnertable.org/post?id=4622760 This is a new thread for a new mom here, Ornament. Please make her welcome.<BR>I have copied her post from another thread.<br>M<BR><BR><BR>"Hi All, <BR><br><DIV>I am not sure how to post; I am just figuring out how to reply to a post. &nbsp;I am freaking out and feel almost paralyzed. &nbsp;My lovely d is a freshman in college 3000 miles away and has developed an. &nbsp;She started w/an ed when she started college (prob before but I did not know) and now weighs 93lbs. &nbsp;The internist in DC said I can give her 4 weeks to try and gain, and then reassess the situation. &nbsp;I am terrified and feel guilty that I am just not yanking her out of school and bringing her home.</DIV><DIV>Thanks,</DIV><DIV>Ornament".</DIV><DIV>&nbsp;</DIV><DIV>&nbsp;</DIV><DIV>Welcome Ornament!</DIV> <p>Forum: <a href="http://www.aroundthedinnertable.org/?forum=136439">Around the Dinner Table Forum</a> http://www.aroundthedinnertable.org/post?id=4622760 Wed, 10 Mar 2010 16:47:36 GMT Mamame http://www.aroundthedinnertable.org/post?id=4622380 I recall other threads about this but can't seem to find the one I was hoping for.....I think one of the moderators posted that you were preparing a letter to your d's school regarding excusing her from health class for medical reasons and the dangers of what they are teaching re: nutrition/body etc.&nbsp; If anyone has done this, could you please share exactly what you presented to your childs principal/school admin regarding this.&nbsp; DD is scheduled for health class this spring and I see the curriculum includes the "standard" stuff about "healthy foods, healthy weights, healthy exercise"&nbsp; blah blah blah&nbsp; All the stuff we have discussed here as bad news for our ED kids/and others.<br><br><br> <p>Forum: <a href="http://www.aroundthedinnertable.org/?forum=136439">Around the Dinner Table Forum</a> http://www.aroundthedinnertable.org/post?id=4622380 Wed, 10 Mar 2010 12:57:15 GMT basrplay http://www.aroundthedinnertable.org/post?id=4622354 Hello<br>My 12.5 yr old d is currently in hospital at 79 pounds, awaiting transfer to Hosp for Sick Children in Toronto.&nbsp; She is not medically stable.<br>They give 4 tins of Ensure, which we see her mistakenly slop on the bed, throw on the floor, and wipe her mouth constantly to remove the ensure from her lips.&nbsp; She is on strict bedrest and has not been out of bed in 5 days.&nbsp; Her day HR is 65-70, and at night 33-39.<br>Phosphate tablets in water have now been added, which frankly tastes like gasoline.<br>Psychiatry, Social Work, Paed, and Dietician.&nbsp; They will not exchange an ensure for a meal.&nbsp; Today we start an apple at 2 pm, which frankly I know, will be a battle royale.<br>Frankly I am getting depressed staring at the same walls for 5 days now.<br>They started her on Prozac, and also Ativan 20 min before meals to quiet the "ED voices" in her head.<br>We come from a divorced home and my X remains in denial.&nbsp; Fighting me every step of the way for control....he threatened me at the hosp the other day, so now for my own safety I get security to take me up to the unit.&nbsp; He thinks he is the better parent.&nbsp; He blames me, My D, also blames me for giving her the Anorexia.<br>I am exhausted, frustrated, tired of negotiating every second of the day with her.&nbsp; I am always on the defensive, and walk on thin ice around her so as to not upset her, and then she wont eat.&nbsp; I am a RN with a Masters.&nbsp; I know there are many facets to this disease, but I really need support for me.&nbsp; Help.<br><br> <p>Forum: <a href="http://www.aroundthedinnertable.org/?forum=136439">Around the Dinner Table Forum</a> http://www.aroundthedinnertable.org/post?id=4622354 Wed, 10 Mar 2010 12:29:36 GMT DiamondsandIce http://www.aroundthedinnertable.org/post?id=4622245 <P>Some of you will remember that I was contacted by a lovely recovering an after my TV thing (I know I know!).&nbsp; Anyway her mother has made contact with me and I said I would start a thread for her.<BR><BR>Her d is doing well but the ED team seem to almost be restricting with her food plan (Grrr).<BR><BR>A couple of quotes from our conversation about mum helping her d by having Fortijuice as her late night snack (Yuk!).&nbsp; I suggested some other, more palatable stuff from the high cal suggestion thread here.&nbsp; She said that she (and her d.) want to do that - milk and biscuits etc - but she is "afraid of loosing the medical backup"<BR><BR>"The thing is she is willing to have things like but THEY want to stick to the fortijiuce"<BR><BR>"Yes I do feel they are holding her back"<BR><BR>I know lots of you have had similar problems with nutritionists and dieticians etc.&nbsp; Can you give advice?</P>We are once again exploring with a new parent the huge gap in getting help&nbsp;between emergency IP treatment and w/r.&nbsp; She is increasing frustrated by the team placing restrictions on what and how she can eat - I feel this exacerbates the condition - sorry have to keep editing as we are still talking!<BR><BR><A href="http://www.aroundthedinnertable.org/post?id=696425" target=_blank target=_blank><a href="http://www.aroundthedinnertable.org/post?id=696425" target="_blank">http://www.aroundthedinnertable.org/post?id=696425</a></A> This is where I think she should be looking to ditch the Fortijuice, which is only 300 cals.<BR><BR>This makes me cross as the weight gain is slow and painful - unnecessary suffering for both the an and the carer.&nbsp; She is a UK mum!<BR><P>The doctors&nbsp;think that d will not eat a "normal meal" - Grrrrrrr - but both mum and d want to try but dr&nbsp;appears very controlling.&nbsp; An d wants to try pizza (Yeah!) and is happy to eat out but team don't want her to - would you advise mum to strike out on her own and go with her instincts?</P><P><BR><BR>&nbsp;<BR><BR></P> <p>Forum: <a href="http://www.aroundthedinnertable.org/?forum=136439">Around the Dinner Table Forum</a> http://www.aroundthedinnertable.org/post?id=4622245 Wed, 10 Mar 2010 08:49:31 GMT cjb http://www.aroundthedinnertable.org/post?id=4621196 My wonderful teenage son was handsome, confident and popular (especially with the girls!). He was also very sporty, a star player in the school rugby team and the fastest runner in the year. He was also admired throughout the school for his fabulous singing voice.<br><br>His ED became noticeable over the summer (2009) with rapid weight loss (quarter of his body weight), obsessive exercise and strange eating obsessions developing (e.g chopping fruit into little bits which would take ages). I took him to the doctors in September but it was late October by the doc took my concerns seriously - and even then I had to practically force him to refer him for treatment. <br><br>We live in the UK and the treatment offered by our National Health Service is called CAMHS (Child and Adolescent Mental Health Services). The waiting list is HUGE, so we only began (out patient) treatment mid Feb 2010.<br><br>Son's extreme behavior started around November - the manic outbursts, head banging, distorted arguments, freefall into some kind of mental breakdown kind of state, totally isolating himself from his friends, problems at school, obsessive exercise, refusing the eat, the works... no point in listing as I'm sure you'll know exactly what I mean...<br><br>It is now March and we have lived with this escalating nightmare for months now. Goodness only knows how long this road will be...<br><br>The stress and strain on us, as parents, is massive. Yesterday, for example, (the day we ended up with super emotional meltdown as son texted me 20 times from school, mega distressed, with an ultra distressing evening to follow) I reached the end of my coping and found myself picking up a dinner plate then throwing it across the kitchen until it smashed into pieces (fortunately I was alone in the house at the time...) Today I am exhausted and have made the decision to take son out of school for the time being (he just goes to pieces when he's there and spends very little time in lessons, mainly hiding in some corner somewhere). He has important exams in a couple of months (GCSEs), was an A star pupil expected to excel, but, hey, what can you do, recovery comes first...<br><br>What frustrates us is that his psychiatrist doesn't think his problem is too severe. His BMI isn't bad (19) and when he's with her, his behavior is quite normal. As a result she's started spacing our appointments further apart; we have a 4 week break between our next two appointments. Despire trying to argue the case with her, she's adament he isn't too bad. As parents we feel as if she's pushed us off a cliff and into freefall... We wonder whether we might have to go private, or if we should stick with the free NHS treatment... We explored private treatment a bit while on the waiting list and weren't impressed with that either. Difficult really... Very difficult, actually...<br><br>I am sure that every one of you reading this will know what I mean when you feel&nbsp; heartbroken seeing your once beautiful, confident, intelligent, friendly, popular child descend into this wreck of a human being who spots the calorie content on some ciabatta he's supposed to have for tea, becomes a quivvering wreck of sobbing, banging head against the wall as if he's about to break his skull...<br><br>But reading through these posts it's so reassuring to see that recovery DOES come. <br><br>Anyway, enough for now. Just thought I'd introduce myself and our problems!!!<br><br>PS So glad I found this website...<br><br><br> <p>Forum: <a href="http://www.aroundthedinnertable.org/?forum=136439">Around the Dinner Table Forum</a> http://www.aroundthedinnertable.org/post?id=4621196 Tue, 09 Mar 2010 17:40:06 GMT BattyMatty http://www.aroundthedinnertable.org/post?id=4621173 I am new to this - I have read the Maudsley books again and again and am frightened to get going. My D so stubborn. Would it be better to get her into a residential programme for a few months and then take on the home re feeding? She has a BMI of 14 and is 14 and half yrs old<img src="/images/boards/smilies/confused.gif" border="0" align="absmiddle"> - bright and excercises constantly. I am reaching my wits end with feeding her. <p>Forum: <a href="http://www.aroundthedinnertable.org/?forum=136439">Around the Dinner Table Forum</a> http://www.aroundthedinnertable.org/post?id=4621173 Tue, 09 Mar 2010 17:20:31 GMT CarolBurnell http://www.aroundthedinnertable.org/post?id=4620983 I'm leaving for England now, to attend the ICED conference, meet F.E.A.S.T. parents, and go to The Maudsley. Very excited and VERY grateful to all of you for being there and making this work both possible and successful.<br><br>For those of you who I will be meeting this week: I can't wait!<br><br>For those of you who won't be there,&nbsp;I carry you with me in spirit and in mission!!!!<br><br>Laura<br> <p>Forum: <a href="http://www.aroundthedinnertable.org/?forum=136439">Around the Dinner Table Forum</a> http://www.aroundthedinnertable.org/post?id=4620983 Tue, 09 Mar 2010 15:35:06 GMT LauraCollins http://www.aroundthedinnertable.org/post?id=4620758 I was thinking while watching a funny episode of king of queens last night, we changed the channel because they started a funny bit on gaining weight, dieting being fat etc..<br><br>How in the world are these girls going to overcome their feelings and insecurities when so much of our society is surrounded with and powered by body images.&nbsp; Now I do not have ED and at 55 I am a post menopausal women who is now overweight but didnt really struggle with that problem in my life.&nbsp; Not being ED I don't beat myself up about the changes but I really wonder how my D and all the other people struggling with body image ever learn to cope with the bombardment of unfair, unhealthy body images messages that are a constant part of this society.<br>We cant keep covering their eyes, changing the channel, shielding them from comments..It just isnt realistic.&nbsp; So, how do we desensitize and teach them how to value themselves without placing a greater value on that image than on the most important things in life.&nbsp; Seems almost insurmountable.&nbsp; What tools to the ED specialist give our D to help them overcome this..Any thoughts?<br><br><br><br> <p>Forum: <a href="http://www.aroundthedinnertable.org/?forum=136439">Around the Dinner Table Forum</a> http://www.aroundthedinnertable.org/post?id=4620758 Tue, 09 Mar 2010 13:11:43 GMT ern4ever http://www.aroundthedinnertable.org/post?id=4620556 I want to welcome dear2me to our forum family.&nbsp; She is a friend of a dear friend who asked if she could pass my name onto her as she knew we were successfully treating our d for AN.&nbsp; We've been able to talk and I know she's reading the forum, FEAST, Maudsleyparents, and looking for L&amp;L and Laura's books and gaining as much knowledge as she can.&nbsp; It's a steep learning curve (wow, I first typed "curse" <img src="http://www.aroundthedinnertable.org/images/boards/smilies/wink.gif" border="0" align="absmiddle">) dear2 me.<br><br>Maybe you can introduce yourself and ask questions.<br><br>Does anyone know of any therapist, etc. in Victoria?&nbsp; I found one in Vancouver but that would be quite long distance.&nbsp; I also recommended someone like Joy Jacobs for phone consulting.<br><br>Welcome!!<br><br> <p>Forum: <a href="http://www.aroundthedinnertable.org/?forum=136439">Around the Dinner Table Forum</a> http://www.aroundthedinnertable.org/post?id=4620556 Tue, 09 Mar 2010 06:56:45 GMT ihavehope http://www.aroundthedinnertable.org/post?id=4619853 I got my Psychology Today mag in the mail today and on the cover was an article on going inside the mind of someone suffering from anorexia. I cannot wait to read it.<BR><BR>The author of the article recovered from anorexia and has a web blog. <BR><BR>Emily Troscianko 'explodes' five anorexia myths.<BR><BR><A href="http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/hunger-artist/200908/five-anorexia-myths-exploded" target=_blank target=_blank><a href="http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/hunger-artist/200908/five-anorexia-myths-exploded" target="_blank">http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/hunger-artist/200908/five-anorexia-myths-exploded</a></A><BR><BR>Very interesting points she makes.<BR><BR>I was not aware of this blog nor Emily Troscianko before.<BR><BR>It looks like a good one for those who are recovering from anorexia.<BR><BR> <p>Forum: <a href="http://www.aroundthedinnertable.org/?forum=136439">Around the Dinner Table Forum</a> http://www.aroundthedinnertable.org/post?id=4619853 Mon, 08 Mar 2010 20:51:04 GMT SeminarLady